Barron Trump Bursts Into Tears After Podiatrist Finds No Sign of Bone Spurs

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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Barron Trump burst into tears on Monday after an examination by a prominent Washington, DC podiatrist found no evidence of bone spurs.

“I’m totally screwed!” the young Trump reportedly shrieked, hurling himself to the floor of the doctor’s office in anguish.

At the White House, Donald J. Trump said that the podiatrist’s x-ray equipment had treated his son “very unfairly,” adding, “This should never be allowed to happen in this country.”

"This is what happens when you trust a real doctor," he said. "I should have just sent the kid to my new Surgeon General."

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Trump Cognitive Test

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Donald J. Trump’s incoherent outbursts, drooping face, and war with Iran have sparked widespread alarm about his steep mental decline.

As a public service, TBR is offering to assess Trump’s acuity with the following cognitive exam.

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Hillary Destroys the Republicans!

In one of the greatest cases of mistaken identity since Donald Trump thought E. Jean Carroll was Marla Maples, House Republicans sent a subpoena to the wrong First Lady.

Instead of Melania Trump, who spent untold hours with the child rapist Jeffrey Epstein, they summoned Hillary Clinton.

They’d soon regret it. See why here.