Bondi Fires DOJ Employee After Finding Copy of Constitution on his Desk
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “serious breach of the Department of Justice’s code of conduct,” on Thursday Attorney General Pam Bondi announced that she had terminated a career DOJ employee who was caught with a copy of the U.S. Constitution on his desk.
Bondi said that the employee, who had worked at the department for 37 years, had “raised suspicions” by using “telltale phrases like ‘due process’” in DOJ memos.
At Bondi’s direction, US marshals ransacked his office, discovered the offending document, and frog-marched him out of the building.
Bondi took the opportunity to remind all DOJ staffers that the U.S. Constitution is on the Republican Party’s banned reading list.
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A copy of the Constitution, much like Epstein’s client list, is something Pam does not have on her desk.
I do have a copy on my coffee table. I hope they don’t raid me.