When The Borowitz Report shows up in my inbox, it's a happy moment. Thank you, Andy, for your wit, your humanity and your always-appropriate response to the crazy all around us. You're a light in a dark time.
I LOVE these photo caption contests, Andy! Keep them comin'...If I had made a suggestion, it would've been either "you're fly is unzipped AGAIN", or "I can smell it's time to change your diaper"...
I missed this évent I had your book sent to me over the Atlantic. I wish it had been signed..who knows, if ever you come to France..
The French have been having a rough Time too : 4 primé ministres, one wobbly givernment (which changes every 3 weeks), the Louvre was busted yestetday etc etc
I'm starting to worry about you, Suzanne. Erasmus (Erasmus Hall, properly, isn't it?), most certainly. Your junior high is now Middle School. And Prospect Park? Ever glorious, considered by many to outshine Central Park. Let's not overlook BPL Main Bldg, Brooklyn Botanic (not Botanical) Garden, Brooklyn Museum and so much more
Two of my HS grads, though both a good while before me, are Sandy Koufax and Maurice Sendak. Give up? Lafayette. Alas, the building still stands, but the name was crushed some time ago. I was told that it had to do with racial problems and the many Chinese students whose families had moved to the neighborhood in great numbers.
I voted for the winning answer, yay! I never Metamucilini I liked! My mother-in-law had to take quite a bit of Metamucil many years ago, I would make her laugh by saying I never Metamucil I didn't like. She had colon cancer and ended up having a colostomy, which she handled with grace and dignity. She would have loved Andy, she could laugh at herself and loved my warped sense of humor. I would ask her how her Innuendo was doing.
As a 72 yo MIL who takes Metamucil daily among many other Rx and OTC meds and supplements, I appreciate your kindness. And, yay! I also voted for the winning caption!!
We are right there with you Judith, hubby Jim and I are both 68 going on 69. After Jim's father died in 2019, we moved her to assisted living very near us. She thrived there even during the pandemic, like a whole new life for her. We lost her at 91 in 2022. Wish we could have had her for a few more years. Love and miss you "Mimby".
I have an urgent question on another issue on which you can provide guidance. The Orange Balloon likes to show up at high visibility sporting events, Super Bowl, Wrassling Matches, etc. When he decides to attend the World Series, which city will be more welcoming, Los Angeles or Toronto?? JD Vance needs to know to tell him where to go. Would appreciate any advice you can give.
Excellent question - I think it may be a draw between LA and Toronto - both with citizens ready, willing and eager to offer their feet to kick their asses immediately out. As far as Jay Deviance, he needs to go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Canadians are nice but not that nice! Best not to let him in. There are too many minorities with god-given talent playing for him to handle, it must be fake!
Thank you, Andy, for giving us such a fabulous format for sharing. You cheer us up daily and urge us on, keeping our spirits up in this bizarre time. No small feat!
"Little Marco" has undergone quite a transformation, having survived the removal of his heart and numerous brain cells since becoming a trump acolyte. He still claims that no one died after the funds for USAID were yanked. He also had been sympathetic the the cause of Ukraine. How does he sleep with himself?
He was always a putz. I remember him at some town hall event explaining to a teenager that he was popular because people “buy into [his] agenda”. He was truly unintelligible. The kid was flummoxed!!😏
Thanks to everyone who entered and voted. And congratulations, Michael!
I love 'Metamucilini'!
Have you seen this?🤣
When The Borowitz Report shows up in my inbox, it's a happy moment. Thank you, Andy, for your wit, your humanity and your always-appropriate response to the crazy all around us. You're a light in a dark time.
Ditto!!! You are becoming more and more necessary!
In the land of the brave, and the home of the free,
As we watch the decay of the Presidency,
It’s uplifting to witness the timeless bromance
Between Donald J. Trump and his beard, JD Vance.
Though the ancient Greeks fancied both fellas and fillies,
Like Patroclus, the lover-boy-toy of Achilles,
The modern age seems to find romantic danger
In the linking of Tonto and his pal, the Lone Ranger.
Or Pancho, who kept his devotion well hid,
As he grew saddle sore from that bad Cisco kid.
There’s Robin, the crime-fighting ‘ward’ of Bruce Wayne.
Who’s been saved by The Batman, again and again.
As they cruised in the Batmobile,
Battling crime,
Were they able to keep on their tights all the time?
There’s no such speculation with POTUS and VEEP.
JD heads for the sofa to let Usha sleep.
Then sneaks into the West Wing,
Removing his shoes,
To help Donald confabulate wackadoo views.
There is plenty of passion, although there’s no sex,
Just bizarre postings both on Truth Social and X.
By the dawn ‘s early light, they are weary and spent.
Finding laws, rules and customs they might circumvent.
Disowning the decent, and owning the libs,
The full spectrum of lying, from whoppers to fibs,
A spectacular bromance, just like lovesick teens,
Twixt the lad from Ohio, and the cad
Born in Queens.
very good maintenance of the meter - a challenge that a lot of parody verse fails. Also, of course, delightfully pointed content!
Thanks, John,
As civilized virtues become more remote,
Maybe standards of meter can keep them afloat.
I will loosen my neck tie and take off my coat,
And keep flailing at bailing my swamped poem boat.
Bravo!
Brilliant!
Perrys have been following The Bruce since the 14th century.
Glenn, you are clever and witty beyond compare. Except for Andy, of course.
This should be widely shared - perhaps Fox will be willing.
Elaine, I’d guess FOX is all
booked UP^^^^. DON’T BOTHER!!
A brilliant buoy in a dark stormy sea, Glenn.
Glenn, certainly one of your best and then some. Truly.
Brilliant!
Well done, Ebo! And hello from Providence! -- Will J + Lisa A
This is spectacular!!! Brilliant, Sir! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I LOVE these photo caption contests, Andy! Keep them comin'...If I had made a suggestion, it would've been either "you're fly is unzipped AGAIN", or "I can smell it's time to change your diaper"...
My new caption - 'We'd better move to the West Wing. They're tearing this side down in 15 minutes.'
I missed this évent I had your book sent to me over the Atlantic. I wish it had been signed..who knows, if ever you come to France..
The French have been having a rough Time too : 4 primé ministres, one wobbly givernment (which changes every 3 weeks), the Louvre was busted yestetday etc etc
Sometimes I miss Ocean Avenue, Brooklyn.
Sorry for the spelling mistakes. This dumb phone writes by iitself « n importe quoi ».
Aaah! Ocean Avenue! ❤️
No kidding, you know Icean Avenue and Flatbush an Walt Whitlman junior high and Erasmus highschool and Prospect Park…do these places still existe?
I'm starting to worry about you, Suzanne. Erasmus (Erasmus Hall, properly, isn't it?), most certainly. Your junior high is now Middle School. And Prospect Park? Ever glorious, considered by many to outshine Central Park. Let's not overlook BPL Main Bldg, Brooklyn Botanic (not Botanical) Garden, Brooklyn Museum and so much more
Two of my HS grads, though both a good while before me, are Sandy Koufax and Maurice Sendak. Give up? Lafayette. Alas, the building still stands, but the name was crushed some time ago. I was told that it had to do with racial problems and the many Chinese students whose families had moved to the neighborhood in great numbers.
Let us not forget one of the great Erasmus grads--Barbra Streisand.
And my father too. He would be 110 this coming Friday if he were still with us.
Of course! (Mid
Continued: (Midwood graduate here.)
I think I know what you mean, Suzanne. For me, it's seeing myself skipping along Bay Parkway.
Marco's voice is too low to penetrate the great wall of Trump's tympanic membrane.
HA! Good one, my friend!!🤣👏🏼👏🏼
So good to see you, Marlene!
And you yoo!🥰
Love this caption! Bravo!
I voted for the winning answer, yay! I never Metamucilini I liked! My mother-in-law had to take quite a bit of Metamucil many years ago, I would make her laugh by saying I never Metamucil I didn't like. She had colon cancer and ended up having a colostomy, which she handled with grace and dignity. She would have loved Andy, she could laugh at herself and loved my warped sense of humor. I would ask her how her Innuendo was doing.
So sweet to your MIL-that’s wonderful.
As a 72 yo MIL who takes Metamucil daily among many other Rx and OTC meds and supplements, I appreciate your kindness. And, yay! I also voted for the winning caption!!
We are right there with you Judith, hubby Jim and I are both 68 going on 69. After Jim's father died in 2019, we moved her to assisted living very near us. She thrived there even during the pandemic, like a whole new life for her. We lost her at 91 in 2022. Wish we could have had her for a few more years. Love and miss you "Mimby".
“You call me little marco again and I’ll pull your pants down right here”
Andy:
I have an urgent question on another issue on which you can provide guidance. The Orange Balloon likes to show up at high visibility sporting events, Super Bowl, Wrassling Matches, etc. When he decides to attend the World Series, which city will be more welcoming, Los Angeles or Toronto?? JD Vance needs to know to tell him where to go. Would appreciate any advice you can give.
Excellent question - I think it may be a draw between LA and Toronto - both with citizens ready, willing and eager to offer their feet to kick their asses immediately out. As far as Jay Deviance, he needs to go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Canadians are nice but not that nice! Best not to let him in. There are too many minorities with god-given talent playing for him to handle, it must be fake!
🤣🤣🤣
While Vance escaped
tangles in Trumpian felonies,
He deserves to be sanctioned for
“Hillbilly Elegy”.
A historical resonance there
can be found
From the days when the Ulster Scots, thick on the ground,
With their Protestant faith, and proficient with stills,
They made popskull white lightnin’
Way up in the hills.
And their sobriquet, “Billy”,
Came from their support
For William of Orange’s Protestant Court.
How ironic that Vance, with his Hillbilly screed,
Wants an Orange dictator
Who follows no creed.
The whole world awakes daily, and,
Holding its breath,
Checks to see if Trump’s met with the Angel of Death.
Then our own Orange ruler
Will pass from the scene
With perhaps the collapse of his Fascist machine.
Applause, applause!
Great!! Congratulations, Michael!!
Thank you, Andy, for giving us such a fabulous format for sharing. You cheer us up daily and urge us on, keeping our spirits up in this bizarre time. No small feat!
"Little Marco" has undergone quite a transformation, having survived the removal of his heart and numerous brain cells since becoming a trump acolyte. He still claims that no one died after the funds for USAID were yanked. He also had been sympathetic the the cause of Ukraine. How does he sleep with himself?
He was always a putz. I remember him at some town hall event explaining to a teenager that he was popular because people “buy into [his] agenda”. He was truly unintelligible. The kid was flummoxed!!😏
Hey, it’s another photo old turkey neck! Maybe he’s saying, “Mr Pred, your neck is showing again.”
Turtlenecks may make a comeback.
Mitch started the trend
But he was really a turtle.
That was the best one. Congratulations Michael, good job!