In Setback for Trump, Iran Says it Will Only Negotiate With Bad Bunny

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TEHRAN (The Borowitz Report)—In a major setback for Donald J. Trump, the Islamic Republic of Iran announced on Tuesday that henceforth it would only negotiate with the Puerto Rican superstar Bad Buddy.

“Throughout his career, Bad Bunny has shown an ability to break down barriers and bring people together,” Tehran’s official statement read. “Our position is clear: no Bunny, no peace.”

In a sign of their eagerness to deal with Mr. Bunny, the Iranians said they were willing to conduct all future negotiations in Spanish, stating, “It will be easier for us to learn Spanish than whatever it is that Donald Trump speaks.”

In a further rebuke to the president, the Iranians ruled out any further dealings with Trump, calling him “muy loco.”

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Leaked Excerpts from JD Vance’s Upcoming Book on Catholicism

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TBR EXCLUSIVE: In the journalistic coup of the year, The Borowitz Report has obtained a leaked copy of JD Vance’s much-anticipated book about his conversion to the Catholic faith.

Peek into the mind of a man who believes he understands Catholicism way better than the Pope by reading excerpts here.