573 Comments
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laura oshea's avatar

I would feel much safer too if Mousse was the head of DHS. It would be a kinder gentler place. We need that now!!!

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Annette's avatar

and Cookie can be the Chief of Staff, since we don't seem to have one

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John Townsend's avatar

The current president and administration are true dirty dogs who deserve not

one Milk-Bone!

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Catherine Alvarez's avatar

❤️❤️

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laura oshea's avatar

Unfortunately with our current ICE and DHS every American is in danger of this current government coming after us. Any one who loudly talks back to tRump may be in danger of being disappeared. If they get their way and build all the concentration camps that are going to be funded then a considerable number of people will be placed in those camps. Be very afraid.

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Gjay15's avatar

I am seventy six. My father’s parents came to America from Lebanon in the early 1900’s I have no doubt that Trump and his supporters, which include those in the legislature and judiciary, would not and could not do to me and my loved ones whatever they damn well please. Power and wealth in the hands of the few is dangerous to and democracy for all.

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OleFlyer's avatar

“Modernized” from 1946 to 2026, with apologies to Pastor Niemöller

First they deported the immigrants, And i did not speak out for i was not an immigrant.

Then then intimidated those helping the poor and the gays, And I did not speak out for I was neither

Then they dismantled our Education, Environment and Science, And again I did not speak out.

When they came for my voter registration, Social Security and Medicare, there was no one left to speak for me.

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

With apologies to the late Lutheran Pastor Martin Niemôller.

Initially an anti-Semite and early Nazi supporter, he changed his perspective after being incarcerated in a concentration camp consequent to his objecting to Nazi control of the Protestant church in Germany.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

First they came for the Communists…...

:

Then Trump and the Whitee nationalists: cam for the Jews

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Jew.

Then they cam for me

And there was no one left

To peak out for me.

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Judith Green's avatar

Yes, those concentration camps, just as in Germany, are meant to incarcerate dissidents.

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Kathleen Pirquet's avatar

Do NOT be afraid. Be angry, active, strategic and relentless.

You don't stop evil by being passive. That NEVER works.

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John Townsend's avatar

--and fight back!

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Paul Hedeman's avatar

I feel much safer if Mousse was president and made her own appointments to the cabinet.

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Robyn Lauster's avatar

Walkies and treats for all!!

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MLK's avatar

No doubt, Mousse's appointments would have better hair.

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Kathy Combs's avatar

Seeing that picture of Mr. Handsome Mousse reminded me that it was time to visit a kinder gentler place by supporting kinder gentler people supporting our pups. I made a donation to Pokie and Friends pet rescue, located here in San Diego. Amazing group. Angels on earth. They rescue dogs from the streets of Mexico and do their best to bring them back to health. And find a forever home. Medical costs can be high. It felt good to send them a donation.

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Martha Garrett's avatar

And let’s make Cookie President. I can just see her, sitting at the Resolute desk, signing executive orders for dog treats for all!

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JULIE PATTERSON's avatar

Adorable leetle Mousse😻

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Karen Miyashiro's avatar

Mousse looks soooo soft. 🩷

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Catherine Alvarez's avatar

❤️❤️

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Susan Mongar's avatar

Oh, no! Don’t put poor Mousse and Kristi in the same post!!!!

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Wis's avatar
2dEdited

And certainly don’t put Mousse in the same *sentence* with that evil hag!! Especially when Mousse looks so fresh and beautiful and Kristi looks like a pockmarked, ‘80s Avon lady gone hooker!

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T L Mills's avatar

I love your description of Noem! She is an evil attention whore, for sure. The extensions are a ridiculous pretense of youth...she looked a little better when she wore her hair shorter in a shaped bob...but lose the heavy maquillage, Noem. It's even more aging than the fakey long tresses.

And stop with the stupid cosplay--you aren't a flipping cowgirl; nor are you a ICE agent or any other of the other professions whose uniforms you borrow to play pretend with,. YOU, Kristi are A big PHONY. A lazy, micro-managing pretender.

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Let her look older! I love it. The fun is in watching her gobble up the illusion.

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John Townsend's avatar

--and not a good one at that!

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Jeaneen Stephansky's avatar

My sentiments exactly

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Andrea Squires's avatar

I love "'80s Avon Lady gone hooker"! That really describes her look.

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Annette's avatar

(excellent description of Gnome)

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Susan A.'s avatar

Oh, I love it..Kristi GNOME! 😜🤣❤️

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Betsy Groth's avatar

Did the fake eyelashes and eyebrow pencil disappear too?

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Annette's avatar

more importantly, what about her Rolex?

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Andrea Squires's avatar

Every time I look at her (which I try not to) I think of the Picture of Dorian Gray.

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John Townsend's avatar

The paint has probably slid off the canvas of her portrait by now!

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Laura Carpenter's avatar

haha! yes!!!

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LHS's avatar

RUN if she rings your doorbell!

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John Townsend's avatar

--or maybe Mary Kay? But then all the ICE vehicles would be Pepto-Bismol pink!

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Deborah Reed's avatar

Omg yes!

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Kathleen Pirquet's avatar

This comes close enough to the truth to be very funny indeed!!

😅🤣😂🤣😅☺️

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Erik Bruun's avatar

Run Mousse! Run!

Find another Borowitz column to show off your beautiful curls.

Way too dangerous to associate with Kristi Noem!

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Ellie Solo's avatar

Don’t worry Susan. The Secretary only shoots her own puppies.

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Janeo's avatar

Psychologists diagnose sociopaths based partly on their history of animal cruelty. Guns in gravel pits, tanks in MacArthur Park. Makes me wish I believed in Hell.

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Ada Fuller's avatar

That’s one of the reasons I like to believe in hell. Now, I just have to consider which level of hell Dante would assign her to.

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Christina Johnson's avatar

New levels of Hell being created as you write!

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NormaShaw ChrisPope's avatar

All of them, rotated by Satan to maximize suffering.

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Wis's avatar

Ada, I would support spreading her out over all nine circles of Dante’s hell. Trump, too - there’s plenty there to spread around.

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Edie Patterson's avatar

Far far down…

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LHS's avatar

"Makes me wish I believed in Hell." I say that A LOT these days.

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Wis's avatar

I’ve started wondering if I died and nobody told me, and I *am* in hell.

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

I’m glad I do.

I watched two segments of WWII last night and what happened in Nazi Germany to the Jews, relative to the path we are on, sent shivers up my spine.

People chose hell for themselves. In their own cruelty to others they must eventually reside.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

My maternal grandparents were gassed at the camp known as Chelmno in January of 1942. Both of my parents lost relatives and friends. Generational trauma is passed down, believe me.

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Susan Fernbach's avatar

It really is, Marlene. My father’s extended family were murdered in Auschwitz and Theresienstadt, and he was liberated from a death-by-work camp. I’ve been unraveling the inherited awfulness for at least 50 years.

You have my sympathy, comrade.

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Yes. It sure is. Love and healing to you.

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Wis's avatar
1dEdited

Even if there isn’t a literal hell, I do think what goes around, comes around. And we’re seeing just a slight glimpse of this for trump with the Ep. Files. Maybe. 🤞

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Kathleen Pirquet's avatar

Profound words, Ellen:

"People chose hell for themselves. In their own cruelty to others they must eventually reside."

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Barbara Greer's avatar

I've recently decided to believe in hell. It makes me feel much better. (I know, right?!)

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John Townsend's avatar

She's creating Hell on Earth, so, yeah, believe in it!

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Veronika Grimm-Matthews's avatar

Are you sure? She is an unpredictable and cruel person, I would not let that sweet little Mouse anywhere near her!

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Still Learning's avatar

She's 100% MONSTER 🤬

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Marmo's avatar

But, we don't know that for sure.

Didn't she also shoot her goat?

Now she's got a taste for shooting defenseless animals. She's more likely to murder them if they love her, but I think she'll shoot anything that can't kill her first.

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Janet Brittle's avatar

Ellie, Don't bet on it!

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Patricia Grande's avatar

I don’t trust her!

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M.E. Lawrence's avatar

Your proof?

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Shooting her dog's not enough?

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M.E. Lawrence's avatar

She didn't do that! She was just joking! We libtards have no sense of humor!

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foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

Or same continent, when possible.

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S watson's avatar

There is no HELL, the HELL that I believe in is the one we are all living in right now and right here.

Steven,Kristi,Vance,Cash,

Marco,Pete right along with the top DOG Tramp, are all playing make believe with our country and the world.

Mousse, is what makes our world a happier place.

Thanks for sharing.

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Marmo's avatar

No, Susan Mongar - it would be Mousse INSTEAD of Kristi. Not together.

Mousse would pee on Kristi's foot before sending her to pick up dog poop as part of her prison-release job. Kristi is good at spreading manure, so it's only fitting that she collect some as a service. While Kristi is busy doing that, Mousse would be keeping us safe from ACTUAL dangers (as opposed to the imaginary dangers that Kristi uses to justify her cruelty).

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John Townsend's avatar

Roadside cleanup where drivers can jeer at her!

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Marmo's avatar

And maybe throw at her some of what she's been throwing at the American people. Bury her in it.

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jb from Weston's avatar

prison RELEASE???

No, dear Marmo, NO!!

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Marmo's avatar

You have a very good point, jb from Weston.

What I meant was those programs where they allow some prisoners a few hours on the outside to do work, but then the prisoners return to their cells. She's already well skilled at shoveling shit, so I thought that would be a perfect job for her. As for returning to Society, that would never happen.

But, you might be right that a straight jacket and isolation in a padded room is the only place that would keep decent people and pets safe from her.

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Sandra Nicht's avatar

on the same planet, or in the same galaxy or even the same universe.

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Sandra Nicht's avatar

she came from the evil parallel universe as documented in Star Trek's original series, again in DS9 and Enterprise ...

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Elaine Fleming's avatar

My thoughts exactly!

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M Seits's avatar

Yes make sure Kristi is unarmed if they meet in the hallway!

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Don't put Kristi and Mousse in the same ROOM!

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Marmo's avatar

I join your fear, SUZANNE Marie McAdam.

We all know what Kristi likes to do to adorable dogs.

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John Townsend's avatar

Sic Mousse on Kristi!

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Alan's avatar
2dEdited

Dozens of customers in that restaurant called FEMA to report finding KN's hair extensions in their salads -- but the phones were not adequately staffed and those calls were not sorted out from calls that reported finding suspect hair thought to be from 45-47, Steven Miller and Justa's sofa.

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Lisa's avatar

Eww. The only thing worse than Kristi's fake hair is finding it in your salad. 😣

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Janeo's avatar

Your best one yet!

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Stephen Miller can’t leave any hair. And, BTW, where’s his wife these days?

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Kathleen Pirquet's avatar

Got sick of living with a thuggish ghoul?

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Alan's avatar
2dEdited

Ellen -- Bald Steven Miller was part of the attempted humor😉. Too subtle?

Regarding Miller's wife:

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/articles/musk-unfollows-stephen-miller-wife-162352597.html

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Catherine Schmidt's avatar

😹😹😹😹😹😹😹

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John Townsend's avatar

Kristi's hair in salads probably made the salads radioactive.

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Larry Williams's avatar

The last person to see Noem's hair extensions was JD Vance.

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M Seits's avatar

The plot thickens as bad things continue to happen to people who brush by JD Vance…the Pope, Epstein and now Kristi….be forewarned!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

And now he can't see at all, having woven them into his lashes.

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Kate Decker's avatar

Hilarious comment! Did JD swiipe 'em, do you think? :-)

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Larry Williams's avatar

Yes, he has hid them in the recesses of his couch for, well, you know.

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Alan's avatar

Apparently Justa wasn't sure if the couch hair was from Kristi's head or his amorous activities. 🤔

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Annette's avatar

hahaha and ewww!

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bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

JD covets those extensions the way Gollum coveted the One Ring...

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Robert E.'s avatar

Do the extensions count in strip poker?

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John Townsend's avatar

--and he's wearing them now!

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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

Mousse is adorable. Having just said goodbye to my dear Beau Monday, any pictures of pups helps with the hole in my heart. Thanks. More Mousse and no Kristi unless it’s behind bars. Thanks for sharing your buddy.

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Kate Decker's avatar

So very sorry you have ost a dear dog friend. The only thing dogs do wrong is die far too soon, in my view.

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M Seits's avatar

Amen to that! I lost my 14 yr old golden retriever two weeks ago and laughing with TBR readers helps ease the pain…

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

My condolences, Sarah. Beau will always be in your life.

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

So sorry to hear about your loss of Beau❤️‍🩹

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Jim Carmichael's avatar

i understand!

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Ginger's avatar

I could never get another dog after my Mugzy....

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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

Ginger I can’t imagine not having a dog. Even though it hurts a ton, there are far too many pups that need a home. Shelters and rescues are so overcrowded. Beau would want me to do it. The cats not so much but they’ve been at this rodeo before.

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Christa Le Clere's avatar

I feel the same way. My Sadie is 10 and not doing so well. It'll be a very sad day when she goes but 1. I can't live without a dog and 2. yes, the shelters are full and that's where all my dogs have come from.

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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

We always want them in our lives longer. It goes way too fast.

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Barbara Greer's avatar

I wish I could like this a thousand times. Love is out there, waiting for you.

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Marmo's avatar

Condolences, Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin. I feel for you - my kitty, Lucy, left us a couple of weeks ago. It's difficult, but it's worth the pain at the end for all the good times and love that came before. Be strong - you have all of us at TBR to support you.

Kristi and Dump and Bondi behind bars would certainly cheer me up! I'm Visualizing - a holdover from the 80's, but I'm willing to try everything at this point.

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Lisa Botwinick's avatar

So sorry for your loss Sarah! It’s tough to lose part of our family.

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Andrea Squires's avatar

So sorry for your loss, it's so hard to lose a fur friend.

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Karena's avatar

Sarah, I am really sorry about your losing your beloved Beau. Condolences also to MSeits and Marmo in this thread.

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Bob's avatar

Is that a strand of long dark hair I see in Mousse's mouth?

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Kate Decker's avatar

:-) !!

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Patricia Grande's avatar

If only. Sic ALL the dogs on her.

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Betty Sandbeck's avatar

Mousse is very handsome!

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Lucy K.'s avatar

Mousse is a natural beauty & undoubtedly a beautiful soul, Noem cannot compete with or without her extensions.

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Ginger's avatar

and she has no soul

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Lucy K.'s avatar

Instead of hair extensions, Noem could use a brain extension.

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Sally's avatar

Extension implies there was something there to start with.

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Al Keim's avatar

Extension brought me to cords and then to electricity. Hair to comb then that thing that happens with hair standing on end to static then back to electricity by extension.

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Annette's avatar

yes, that! But not in a fun science museum way . . . (said evil Annette)

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Al Keim's avatar

Yeah, not fun especially since Cricket got shot:-(

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Betsy Groth's avatar

It is not her brain at issue. It is her heart and soul. She has neither.

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Annette's avatar

I think the extensions were what was keeping what little she had of a brain on her head . . . notice you don't see her without a tRump hat often (extra protection of her gray matter)

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Barbara Greer's avatar

How about she just extends some empathy or humanity. It doesn't even have to be woven.

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John Townsend's avatar

--that is if one could find the original brain to extend!

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Fintan Steele's avatar

Hmmmm.... Whoever stole them is in danger of being charged for the illegal possession of venomous reptiles....

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Robot Bender's avatar

The Medusa syndrome.

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M Seits's avatar
2dEdited

“Venomous reptiles”!!! Perfect!!!

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Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

Kristi should rethink her tresses:

A Page Boy or Mullet might do.

And if she balks at shorter locks,

Claiming tales of extensions aren’t true,

We should carry her off to El Salvador

To spend time with our prisoners there.

It should take just a day to acquire lice

And to learn how nitpicking is never nice.

It is best if you shave off your hair.

Here’s a hint: fix your hair so it’s short and loose

And apply a good handful of styling Mousse.

If your hair is still an unsightly thicket

You should shoot it, just as you did with Cricket.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Oooh, you are the sly one, Mousse in play! And brilliant overall. Thank you, Glenn.

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Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

Now, let’s all remember Cameron Diaz applying Ben Stiller’s “mousse” in ‘Something About Mary’.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

I'm "liking" with never having seen the movie. It's because I trust you.

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Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

If you remember Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers as fondly as me… skinny Jewish kid from Boston…

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Sorry, but I'm not getting your comment. Was the group or its music in the movie? Also, the name of the band doesn't ring a bell, but the link is a hoot. It's a reminder that there was the time when boys had to pass a cuteness test to be accepted into a band. Same for the kids who showed up for the audience; the cutest were seated right up front. And, yes, he is a Jewish boychik.

https://www.google.com/search?q=jonathan+richman+and+the+modern+lovers&rlz=1C1ONGR_enUS1053US1053&oq=jonathan+richman+and+the&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqCggAEAAY4wIYgAQyCggAEAAY4wIYgAQyBwgBEC4YgAQyBwgCEAAYgAQyBggDEEUYOTIHCAQQLhiABDIHCAUQLhiABDIICAYQABgWGB4yCAgHEAAYFhgeMggICBAAGBYYHjIICAkQABgWGB7SAQk1NDI1ajBqMTWoAgCwAgA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&sei=Kp55aMvKN-Pl5NoPxJ7roQg#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:dc2e54e7,vid:Rm4bd7gYCRI,st:0

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

All right, I'm back and I think I'm ready to vote: I may be in love. The work is just off enough to be on. Something else that I'm detecting, but hesitate to say aloud: A little punk-y?

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Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

Brilliant!

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Susan Kice's avatar

Brilliant says it all!

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Kathleen Pirquet's avatar

WooHoo!!! Our poet laureate of the day!!!

Many thanks to you, Glenn Ebo Perry!

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Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

With your nice Franco name,

you can use the classic French description of The Gnoem:

“Jolie-laide”.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

A great reminder. I hadn't heard or thought of that in eons.

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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Annette's avatar

<golf clap>

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Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

(Golf announcer):

“Noem is in the sand pit… looks like a chirping Cricket has broken her concentration! Now she’s clubbing the poor creature to death…She really should go to a concentration camp…”

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Annette's avatar

<standing ovation>

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Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

I love this country so much.

My Dad and my uncles, mere boys at the time, volunteered to risk their 17-year-old hides to kill Japs and Krauts. They were successful.

The least I can do with my 69-year-old fat ass is to mock this current eruption of Fascists.

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Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

Christ, how I despise them.

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Jim Carmichael's avatar

You are so well loved, Andy—you recognize the REAL story!

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Kate Decker's avatar

It's true Gravitas, innit?

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LBMLiz's avatar

Unlike ICE Barbie, Mousse is perfection!

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foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

FAR better hair!

(Even w/o Mousse trying to cosplay Jennifer Aniston.)

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Robot Bender's avatar

And failing miserably.

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Patty Bohart's avatar

I would feel safer if Mousse were running the country!

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Sean M Carlin's avatar

I blame Jeff Epstein. Even though Kristi is way too old for him.

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Janeo's avatar

It was Biden's fault!

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Michael Burke's avatar

She should look into dermabrasion.

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Darryl Duke's avatar

It also needs to go out and gnaw on some trees, it's teeth are getting long. It can do its part in cleaning up the Texas floods.

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Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

Wow! That is really wicked! Wicked good!

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Excellent!

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Linda Mitchell, KCMO's avatar

I know! I saw that too!

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Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

DittO!

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Gabriele C Overweg's avatar

I have noticed this weeks ago, but the poor woman has enough to deal with. Looking young again after so many years seems to be very stressful.

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Annette's avatar

I'm sure she's regretting getting beauty advice from Lauren Sanchez-Bozos.

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Mary Gilbert's avatar

😝

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Hollis's avatar

That would be throwing good money after bad. It's sad when all that plastic goes awry. If I were her, I would demand a refund.

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bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

I think there comes a time when all of that facial filler results in a permanent deranged chipmunk appearance

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

I recommend a paper sack.

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John Townsend's avatar

Several layers of paper sacks!

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

I thought her extensions were attached to the hats.

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Kate Decker's avatar

Yes, the hair extensions are attached to the hats. Didn't you notice the hat was missing, too?

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

I can't look directly at her.

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Kate Decker's avatar

The scientific opinion is that you CAN look directly at her, but you will go blind or throw up.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Kate, that doesn't sound like you at all, but it's a good'n.

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Kate Decker's avatar

heh heh! :-) !!

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John Townsend's avatar

--but your blood pressure will certainly rise!

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Kate Decker's avatar

Yes. Thank you for the reminder that that is indeed the constant. Looking at this frightful entity will likely cause a stroke, in many cases. (Best not to look at all, like at Gorgons).

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

And shouldn’t. That’s how demonic possession starts.

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Al Keim's avatar

Is that the weave Trump goes on about?

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