Thanks for a good laugh to start off the day. The thought of Taco Belle’s butt enhancing the value of anything gave me an image that might be hard to shake but I can persevere!
A new joint opened in Florence a few weeks ago. It’s call Tosco Tacos. Proprietor has great experience in food that is not Italian. Supposed to lunch there with a friend after a grind in the Uffizi. I will not be wearing my TBR cap, and I might have to re-think my lunching experience and go somewhere else. F!
-and their newest Trump-inspired dish: Tacos Bimbosas! Also try:
Hegseth Huevos Rancheros, spicy but doesn't know what to do with it!
The Vance sofa-shaped burrito! Also, the Melania Mole, not made with traditional ingredients, who who cares? For dessert? The Stephen Miller crayon-infused flan!
No, John, there is not. Andy is a lazy slut. (A variation on SNL: Jane was merely an ignorant slut.At least, that’s what I think CC called her.) Goading you into action, AB. We Borowitzers want our baseball caps.
Hmm, technically, isn't "lazy slut" an oxymoron? I mean, you have to be keeping pretty busy to earn the slut title. In fact, we need Andy to become kind of a merch slut, no? Or would that be us because we'd buy it? Just call me an ignorant pedant.
John, one of my favorite English professors had fun with puns, but used them judiciously. He was wonderful in all ways. You remind me of a silly one that I can never tire of:
Help me! Never have I spoken the word "merch" and just above is the first I've put it on paper, so to speak. My unblemished record is now officially soiled. Or maybe I'm one of the kids now.
You've redeemed me, Maria, just like old-timey supermarket trading stamps. I clicked the link and saw that merch was first used in the 1950s. Where have I been?
Thanks! I make great pasta myself (said modestly) so rarely order it out. A good taco? It’s been years. If you want good food in Italy that’s not Italian, you more or less have to make it yourself. (Btw: I am on Substack where I continue not to publish on food & art.)
And the cap better just say TBR. Anything more would require wrapping the name around. I want people to just ask me what it means and I don't want them circling me to find out.
I reluctantly gave you a “ like “ . Your comment was witty and spot on. However ( noting an avoidance of another word) thanks a lot for that $&@! Image.
Sarah, you take that back right now! You conjured an image that is making my eyes dissolve -- a nasty butt that touched a car seat went on to shake? What have I ever done to you?
Now you've done it, Sarah. You make a good point, but wouldn't it be more effective to send him pics of what's going on fore and aft? Don't take it out on us. Please.
Thank you, Good Sarah. As a matter of fact, I had lunch with Stormy a few weeks ago and she stuck to her story. Melania left a VM just yesterday and assured me that, as with everything else, she really doesn't care.
I keep waiting for the Twilight Zone music, so that I would know that we are waking up from this nightmare. Rod Serling would have a field day with the story of TACO Trump, sprayed on Dorito makeup and all.
You're travelling through another reality, a fantastical collection of lies and corruption, a journey so perilous it staggers the imagination. That's a signpost up ahead- your next stop, the White House.
I want to see T actually drive that thing. Would he even be able to get it started? And does it have a gear shift? If it starts in drive, there is going to be one hell of a hole dug in the grass. I'd watch that film all day long.
I knew there was another reason why I never eat there. The first reason is because I got food poisoning from a Big Mac in 1990 that had probably been sitting under the warming lights since 1986.
Would the suckers be paying ’10 bucks a pop’ for plastic-encased residue, or were they paid ’10 bucks a pop’ to vote for Trump?
As an aside, if Stormy Daniels were to gain admission to the WH, Trump might not be trying to screw the country. Then again, he could not get it up for the former, but has not found it hard to do the latter. [Pun intended.]
Alek, an aside. Long ago I worked with a man whose Greek surname came to seven syllables. You may be only the second person I've encountered with that distinction.
I take pride in being able to pronounce both of your names and feel the flow. A problem arose farther upscreen (down?) when I first saw "Zen koan." No idea why, but I kept reading it as "Ken zoan."
That is the proper way, friend. Let the tongue trip, let the mind giggle, let the heart bow. Whether Zen koan or Ken Zoan, both will leave you wondering in the end.
Besides, most koans sound like mistranslations anyway. You are already halfway to enlightenment.
I may be past the half-way mark. Italian names don't ruffle me in the least. Oh, I love names, sorta collect them without writing them down or researching. It's just the variety of names in the world that makes me happy. As to Italian, I've stunned some people with the most impossible-seeming names by pronouncing them right off. One man's eyes widened. He got it when I told him that if a Jewish girl growing up in such-and-such neighborhood could not pronounce properly, no one could. By chance, I met another man of the same name about a year later. He, too, was surprised. Turned out they were brothers. I seem headed toward babbling now, so I'll sign off with a goodnight wish.
Dollar?? That's overpricing!! In fact, it's price-gouging!! The whole of this kakistocracy, and that includes the entire GQP/MAGAT cult, isn't worth 1 red (or for that matter, any other color) cent.
True enough. But who's to say the Russians aren't at least somewhat involved in this? And do remember that the late, lamented penny is referred to as a "red cent".
Thanks for a good laugh to start off the day. The thought of Taco Belle’s butt enhancing the value of anything gave me an image that might be hard to shake but I can persevere!
Please help me unsee this.
Yeah. The size of an elephant’s backend. And I’d take an elephant’s backend any day over this serial abuser of power.
Zen koans: Do Tesla seats have extra padding. If not will the seats
ever rise again?
Not to mention the excessive damage to the springs and shocks.
A new joint opened in Florence a few weeks ago. It’s call Tosco Tacos. Proprietor has great experience in food that is not Italian. Supposed to lunch there with a friend after a grind in the Uffizi. I will not be wearing my TBR cap, and I might have to re-think my lunching experience and go somewhere else. F!
-and their newest Trump-inspired dish: Tacos Bimbosas! Also try:
Hegseth Huevos Rancheros, spicy but doesn't know what to do with it!
The Vance sofa-shaped burrito! Also, the Melania Mole, not made with traditional ingredients, who who cares? For dessert? The Stephen Miller crayon-infused flan!
lol 😺
Hmm. Please report back
:-) !!
Where did you get a TBR cap? I so need one.
Paulette
That would precisely be my point, Paulette. I ain’t got one.
Wait, there's TBR merch?
No, John, there is not. Andy is a lazy slut. (A variation on SNL: Jane was merely an ignorant slut.At least, that’s what I think CC called her.) Goading you into action, AB. We Borowitzers want our baseball caps.
If Andy is a lazy slut, at least we can hope he is having fun with it!
Hmm, technically, isn't "lazy slut" an oxymoron? I mean, you have to be keeping pretty busy to earn the slut title. In fact, we need Andy to become kind of a merch slut, no? Or would that be us because we'd buy it? Just call me an ignorant pedant.
John, one of my favorite English professors had fun with puns, but used them judiciously. He was wonderful in all ways. You remind me of a silly one that I can never tire of:
What is the definition of "oxymoron?"
What?
A berserk cow.
[(drumroll) Silliness reigns.]
Trophie's yours today, love
Thank you, Suzanne. My late, witty, beloved and respected Professor Miller would grin.
OK You're an ignorant pedant
But seriously, Patti, why do I think I saw something a while back about TBR merch? Could it have been real or just too much ketamine?
Help me! Never have I spoken the word "merch" and just above is the first I've put it on paper, so to speak. My unblemished record is now officially soiled. Or maybe I'm one of the kids now.
L. R. --If the OED can hold its nose and acknowledge "merch," you can feel OK (or O.K., or okay) about using it, too! https://www.oed.com/dictionary/merch_n?tl=true
You've redeemed me, Maria, just like old-timey supermarket trading stamps. I clicked the link and saw that merch was first used in the 1950s. Where have I been?
I still spell catalogue just like that, L.R. You can atone; all is not lost.
We must retain the "ue." Civilization is counting on us.
We all want baseball caps. A recurring motif, L.R.
Speak for yourselves! I want a beanie with a propeller on top.
I think there should be merch--hats, shirts, beach towels
Try Lo Sperone Calcaneare just down the street. Great pasta and a long-time favorite with Borowitz fans. Also unlimited diet soda.
Thanks! I make great pasta myself (said modestly) so rarely order it out. A good taco? It’s been years. If you want good food in Italy that’s not Italian, you more or less have to make it yourself. (Btw: I am on Substack where I continue not to publish on food & art.)
And the cap better just say TBR. Anything more would require wrapping the name around. I want people to just ask me what it means and I don't want them circling me to find out.
Assolutamente!
But he only weighs 260 lbs!!
I know! I just finished breakfast and its not going down easy now!
Too late!
I reluctantly gave you a “ like “ . Your comment was witty and spot on. However ( noting an avoidance of another word) thanks a lot for that $&@! Image.
lolol
Hard to get that image out of your mind, isn't it?
Sarah, you take that back right now! You conjured an image that is making my eyes dissolve -- a nasty butt that touched a car seat went on to shake? What have I ever done to you?
This thread causes me to snort with great joy.
Handkerchief, Patti?
My apologies everyone! But I’d much prefer an elephant’s backend’s view to what we’ve endured when he pretends to play tennis
Tennis? I thought that image was from his ballet career.
Actually I blame karoline leave it to beaver for starting us down this filthy road.
Now you've done it, Sarah. You make a good point, but wouldn't it be more effective to send him pics of what's going on fore and aft? Don't take it out on us. Please.
Ok ok. No more possible imagery. But as far as I know , ain’t nothing going on fore. Ask Stormy😅
Thank you, Good Sarah. As a matter of fact, I had lunch with Stormy a few weeks ago and she stuck to her story. Melania left a VM just yesterday and assured me that, as with everything else, she really doesn't care.
We are living in the Twilight Zone because this is a totally believable story.
I keep waiting for the Twilight Zone music, so that I would know that we are waking up from this nightmare. Rod Serling would have a field day with the story of TACO Trump, sprayed on Dorito makeup and all.
You're travelling through another reality, a fantastical collection of lies and corruption, a journey so perilous it staggers the imagination. That's a signpost up ahead- your next stop, the White House.
insert image of Munch's Scream here
That and Octavia's tune could ruin anyone's afternoon.
I hear the music.
I can hear the Manhattan Transfer in my mind right now
Hum a few bars:-)
"Here in the Twi-light-Twilight Zone....." from back in the 80's.
In the Mywhite Zone.
Awesome 👍
Ever since this administration started I have felt I was living in Twilight Zone episodes, one after the other.
To me, it has felt like a continuous stream of rejected Saturday Night Live skits.
If only we could be like Bill Mumy's character and blink away Trump and company "into the cornfield".
Or turn Stephen Miller into a jack-in-the-box.
Thanks for the laugh, Andy! I’d say anything he touches immediately loses value.
Trump loves Tesler! Everything’s computer!
I want to see T actually drive that thing. Would he even be able to get it started? And does it have a gear shift? If it starts in drive, there is going to be one hell of a hole dug in the grass. I'd watch that film all day long.
Does he even know how to drive? I'd stay far away from anything he does in that car.
T. Chump could easily drive that thing. Since it is self-driving and as long as he doesn't touch those pedals or that steering wheel thing.
Steering wheel? That’s an old-fashioned word. Steering wheel. I just invented that.
Thanks! All wheels are pretty great!
LOL
let's hope this one was built on a Monday or Friday and is filled with glitches
Let’s see him try to recharge the sucker.
It's all computers
Reminds me of the internets guy:-)
🤣
Does the Tesler come with a powerful deodorizer to remove the Dump smell? If not, the Qataris seriously overpaid.
They'll need to get it thoroughly checked. Judging from the picture, it appears that the gas bag is already deployed.
I believe a car containing a gas bag and Trump is the definition of redundant.
Belt and suspenders of law.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Gas bag in, gas bag out!
<golf clap>
To sweeten the deal, the Qataris threw in a McD's food truck so he could maintain his "healthy" diet 24/7 and get exercise flipping "hamburders".
Been wondering: Is there hidden significance in the term "Mc DONALDS" -- just asking...
Kate -- based on the definition of Mc (son of), McDonalds refers to Don, Jr., Eric and Barron. 😉
I knew there was another reason why I never eat there. The first reason is because I got food poisoning from a Big Mac in 1990 that had probably been sitting under the warming lights since 1986.
What? No Taco Bell truck, too!
The TACO Bell truck was out of gas🤔
I heard the McD's food truck also has a Diet Coke dispenser . . . let's load that bass turd up with all sorts of chemicals.
He already wears chemicals on his face and hair.
What’s a few more going down into his nasty, slimy gut.
For all we know, those chemicals might preserve him forever. Aaah!
Don't even think that, John!
But once Cheese It was BIG behind the wheel McDonald's declined his Supersize Me request.
It's hamberders, Alan. I can tell you don't really love our lord and savior.
Barbara -- my typo reflects the difficulty the Flipper-in-Chief has understanding the strategic importance of the EU 😉
I thought his go-to was Burger King and Coca-Cola
They may have paid him in Confederate currency. I have to check.
He is a known commodity at the corner Traitor Joe's.
Traitor Joe's :-) !!
Confederate Crypto, you say? :-)
Synominomous.
I was thinking Monopoly money.
LOL! Made my morning!!
Absolutely! Same here!
He thinks the deal was even better because "everything's computer" and he couldn't figure out how to turn it on!
You’re giving the Qataris some ideas, be careful.
They could slice and dice the car into 70 million pieces, encase each in plastic and sell them to the suckers who voted for him at ten bucks a pop.
Would the suckers be paying ’10 bucks a pop’ for plastic-encased residue, or were they paid ’10 bucks a pop’ to vote for Trump?
As an aside, if Stormy Daniels were to gain admission to the WH, Trump might not be trying to screw the country. Then again, he could not get it up for the former, but has not found it hard to do the latter. [Pun intended.]
I can honestly see that happening, with a premium price for pieces of the seat tRump sat on.
Premium up the whazoo!
lol
The modern alchemy: turn one grifter’s chair-fart into “value,” one banana republic’s coin into “currency,” and call it a deal.
Empires used to trade gold and silk. Now they trade seat residue and shitcoins. How far we’ve ascended.
Virgin Monk Boy
Alek, an aside. Long ago I worked with a man whose Greek surname came to seven syllables. You may be only the second person I've encountered with that distinction.
A rare club indeed! Seven syllables—the proper length for a surname and a Zen koan.
Half the world stumbles trying to pronounce it. The other half wisely bows and lets the syllables flow past like a river.
— Virgin Monk Boy
I take pride in being able to pronounce both of your names and feel the flow. A problem arose farther upscreen (down?) when I first saw "Zen koan." No idea why, but I kept reading it as "Ken zoan."
That is the proper way, friend. Let the tongue trip, let the mind giggle, let the heart bow. Whether Zen koan or Ken Zoan, both will leave you wondering in the end.
Besides, most koans sound like mistranslations anyway. You are already halfway to enlightenment.
I may be past the half-way mark. Italian names don't ruffle me in the least. Oh, I love names, sorta collect them without writing them down or researching. It's just the variety of names in the world that makes me happy. As to Italian, I've stunned some people with the most impossible-seeming names by pronouncing them right off. One man's eyes widened. He got it when I told him that if a Jewish girl growing up in such-and-such neighborhood could not pronounce properly, no one could. By chance, I met another man of the same name about a year later. He, too, was surprised. Turned out they were brothers. I seem headed toward babbling now, so I'll sign off with a goodnight wish.
For another dollar they can have Diaper Don and his Cabinet.
I think they already have them, for the "gift" of a plane
Dollar?? That's overpricing!! In fact, it's price-gouging!! The whole of this kakistocracy, and that includes the entire GQP/MAGAT cult, isn't worth 1 red (or for that matter, any other color) cent.
The red cents are from Russia, Russia, Russia. Keep your payoffs straight.
True enough. But who's to say the Russians aren't at least somewhat involved in this? And do remember that the late, lamented penny is referred to as a "red cent".
I would have thought that you'd rather pay a few dollars for the Qataris to take them to Qatar.
Too believable!
Just like when he sells a unit in Trump tower for 100 times more than it's worth
low miles, good deal. We always make good deals.
I’m shocked! I thought Trump loved “Tesler!”
Felon Trump only loves himself.