Did you see this in Heather's post today? I think she's going after your job!
"Chronic venous insufficiency is a condition where the veins in the legs have difficulty drawing attention from the fact that the Epstein Files still haven’t been released,” one social media meme read.
Is there a virtual option. I was born and raised in northeastern Pennsylvania and my mother’s relatives lived in Queens. Traveling through the “ Garden State “ left me with a lifelong phobia of the state. Perhaps I am just being silly as I suspect Jersey has improved since the 1950’s. Right JoJo.
I’ve lived here on and off in 4 different NJ towns since the mid 70’s. Being from Manhattan, I thought of New Jersey as a “drive through” (south on Turnpike or west on 80.) After being taken to Indiana, Alabama and Florida, New Jersey is a sanctuary. Prettier, and far more people politically in tune with my beliefs.
Andy, it was interesting to see that Liam Dorrinson was quoted in today's column -- presumably Harland's brilliant and perceptive son. It's time for the TBR next generation of emboldened characters! 😉
If a group of fifth graders know the significance of Epstein's list, then maybe trump is correct about there being no need for a federal ed department. That the kids are Floridian fifth graders is especially impressive, given the identity of their governor. But don't let young Liam Dorrinson speak for the group; his grammar stinks.
I'm just thankful they didn't find Epstein there; that's an age group he could seem fond of . . . (I know, nasty comment, but I'm thankful Liam was a spokesperson for the group - that should give us all hope).
And just as surely as The Wicked Man is not mentioned in any compromising way in the Epstein files, he was at the very top of his class at Wharton, graduating summa cum laude.
Thank you for reminding me of that speech, wihch I had heard of, but rather inexcusably (since I consider myself a student of the President's speech making) I had never read. I now have, courtesy of a simple Google search, and it is exactly the type of address one would expect: a model of precise logical thinking, beatifully written in the short declarative sentences for which the President has become well known.
Ms. Hardie. You write as if there really were such a speech, and I had falsely claimed to have read it, or, if I had read it, I had not read it carefully. But it could not be clearer--at least I don't know it could have been clearer--that my comment was meant to be ironic. It follows that I am reading your comment as ironic as well. Best regards.
Sarah correctly refers to “college.” Most of us think of Wharton as the graduate school at which students earn an MBA. Trump was an under-graduate and, we’re told, earned a BS or BA. He likes people to think he has an MBA. The very idea gives me an attack of cognitive dissonance.
When my brother was about to graduate from college, he was considering graduate school; he’s a computer scientist, so his undergraduates degree was a BS. His advisor had reservations and explained that, in the end, it’s all Bull Shit, More Shit, and Piled higher and Deeper.
yet another example of his "factual" statements-Erika is correct-"Wharton" refers to the graduate school, to which DJT never attended or even applied. But he has identified his "background" as a Wharton student so often, HE probably thinks he did attend (along with millions who don't question his statements). Just like that sharpie and the hurricane path.
I agree that "college degree" and "B.S." can be used in the same sentence when referring to tRump, but not in the way most people would think (unless you're a TBRer)
I love your "cognitive dissonance", trust your "psychological discomfort", but doubt your "conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes". (Sorry. I wanted to look up a good definition and it made me smile and want to comment.) Didn't say that well. I Do believe you have those conflicting beliefs, etc to That guy.
Roughly 6 to 11 is a lovely time: great company, sweet and creative, and mature enough not to need constant surveillance. I actually cried on my daughter's 11th birthday, knowing that life would never be quite the same (and I was right). She's a pretty good grown-up, though.
Excepting the kids who Dump bossed around in the morning, the afternoon, the evenings, and all weekend long. With any luck, they’ve moved on (unlikely!).
Thevlist of Epstein names was also splattered with spilled covfefe and was found next to important documents relating to trumps newest lawsuits against the Washington Commanders and Cleveland Guardians demanding that they change their “woke” names back to Redskins and Indians…
Love field trips! My son’s 8th grade field trip to DC stopped in Baltimore. The kids all ran to Hooters for lunch and to get their Hooters purchased t-shirt signed by Jeff, Donald, and Diddy. All in the same booth!
I guess I haven't been keeping up. Had to Google Harland Dorrinson and got back a whole list of what appeared to be unrelated bios. Help me. Who is this guy??
I know it's bad when I lose my sense of humor. i"m so far over the corruption and ugliness and craven cruel actions against so many ... that I am having trouble finding any of it funny. I wish I could... I feel like this is burning us alive... and i am grateful for the humor, for all the artists, for the beauty of the natural world.. and for our hearts that stay open and true. xo lisa
You’ll note that they did not find his healthcare plan—or even a concept thereof.
Did you see this in Heather's post today? I think she's going after your job!
"Chronic venous insufficiency is a condition where the veins in the legs have difficulty drawing attention from the fact that the Epstein Files still haven’t been released,” one social media meme read.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, but it was a typo. What Heather meant was "chronic venal over-sufficiency". Could happen to anyone...
brilliant Hugh -but only 2 likes? wtf
Or as Jon Stewart said "chronic penis insufficiency..."
🤣🤣🤣
Or maybe the social media meme-creator is going after Andy’s job!
Yea, when I saw HCR’s letter today, I sure did wonder!
Andy, if you could sell tickets to sit inside your amazing brain for a day, I’ll be the first in line 🤣🤣🤘🤘
Well, I sort of am doing that: https://www.mccarter.org/andyborowitz
Hm.🤔 If it weren't that I live in Vancouver BC, I'd definitely be up for a night of scintillating conversation with you, Andy.
I'll keep an eye out for your book at my local Chapters bookstore, though. Hope it'll be available. 😀👍
I just finished reading Profiles in Ignorance, which was wonderful. I highly recommend it.
Everything we see happening is the culmination of the dumbing down of America. Trump is the apogee...or nadir, depending on your POV. 🙂
Hopefully more of us are seeing this as the nadir, seriously hoping it's the nadir.
Hello! I’m in Victoria!
Is there a virtual option. I was born and raised in northeastern Pennsylvania and my mother’s relatives lived in Queens. Traveling through the “ Garden State “ left me with a lifelong phobia of the state. Perhaps I am just being silly as I suspect Jersey has improved since the 1950’s. Right JoJo.
I’ve lived here on and off in 4 different NJ towns since the mid 70’s. Being from Manhattan, I thought of New Jersey as a “drive through” (south on Turnpike or west on 80.) After being taken to Indiana, Alabama and Florida, New Jersey is a sanctuary. Prettier, and far more people politically in tune with my beliefs.
Bless you, Christina. Let's hear it for Jersey!
I was speaking with tongue in cheek. But the real beauty of New Jersey is in the people I know from there which includes a former love.
I agree. So far anyone I met from NJ has been a great friend
Nice picture of you, Andy!
🤣🤣 You are indeed!
Are you ever going to come to the beautiful state of MN, Andy? You can visit your sources at the University of MN🤓
I’d fight you for 1st place. Never underestimate the power and strength of a grandma on a mission 😆😆!
Tom -- if you can secure that privilege, you'll likely be among the first to meet the son or daughter of Professor Davis Logsdon of TBR fame 🤗
😂😂
LOL
I agree. I need a Borowitz laugh every morning.
I'm trying to figure out when he ever has time to sleep....with all those incredible ideas rambling through his brain continually!
That’s been my wish😂😂
“Andy, if you could sell tickets to sit inside your amazing brain for a day, I’ll be the first in line.”
Andy, if you could sell tickets to sit inside your amazing brain for a day, I’ll be the first in line. Love, The Worm
Andy, it was interesting to see that Liam Dorrinson was quoted in today's column -- presumably Harland's brilliant and perceptive son. It's time for the TBR next generation of emboldened characters! 😉
A brilliant 11-year-old aspiring journalist 😘
those Dorrinson's show up everywhere!
I can’t get over the idea that Harland’s son’s name is Liam. The whole bathroom storage has made me clutch my pearls and now…….if only it were true!
I think Andy should add the Bickerson family personally - they would be a great addition for certain situations!
And the Dorrinson line lives on. Phew!
Brilliant
Are you alluding to the filthy but still somewhat shiny file drawers??
Did the kids also find Trump's contract with the devil?
No, it's to be found in the fireplace where it never burns!
It is with his infrastructure plan.
The kids, the powder room, the taxes - absolutely too funny !!!
as Yoda says, "Find what doesn't exist, you cannot"
Do Yoda and Trump have "sick syntax syndrome"?
If a group of fifth graders know the significance of Epstein's list, then maybe trump is correct about there being no need for a federal ed department. That the kids are Floridian fifth graders is especially impressive, given the identity of their governor. But don't let young Liam Dorrinson speak for the group; his grammar stinks.
I'm just thankful they didn't find Epstein there; that's an age group he could seem fond of . . . (I know, nasty comment, but I'm thankful Liam was a spokesperson for the group - that should give us all hope).
He'll have it in about two weeks... or months.
This may not be their fault. Does anyone know if they can actually read or write? (they obviously can't think).
What is healthcare?
Not even the concept of a plan...
Good one.
It'll be released in two weeks.
Not even a sketch of one?
I heard the school group also found his college transcripts.
But they didn't find any books.
or T.P.
you WENT THERE 😝
too funny!
How about the Unibomber being his uncle’s student. Imagine taking a trip in to the mind of Orange One
NOOOOOO . . . it would be like being thrown into a M.C. Escher drawing.
The thing is, M.C. Escher was a real artist. And didn't use a sharpie 😈
The fish rots from the head……
Heaven forfend!! 😱
Hahahaha!!!! (“But they didn’t find any books”)
Nada!
Gerry -- yes, and the transcripts were certified by Dr. Ronnie Jackson!
Are you referring to good old "Handsie?'
And now, I live in Texas and Ronnie Jackson is my federal Representative! ICK
Sorry!
Run against him or move, he’s a true non representative
And just as surely as The Wicked Man is not mentioned in any compromising way in the Epstein files, he was at the very top of his class at Wharton, graduating summa cum laude.
In his valedictory speech he warned about the dangers of late stage capitalism, which in short is Adam Smith’s invisible hand giving us the finger.
Thank you for reminding me of that speech, wihch I had heard of, but rather inexcusably (since I consider myself a student of the President's speech making) I had never read. I now have, courtesy of a simple Google search, and it is exactly the type of address one would expect: a model of precise logical thinking, beatifully written in the short declarative sentences for which the President has become well known.
I'm guessing that you still haven't read it, Robert. Either that or you used AI for the last half of that comment.
Ms. Hardie. You write as if there really were such a speech, and I had falsely claimed to have read it, or, if I had read it, I had not read it carefully. But it could not be clearer--at least I don't know it could have been clearer--that my comment was meant to be ironic. It follows that I am reading your comment as ironic as well. Best regards.
Yep, that was about as ironic as I could manage. I'll try to do better next time. Thank you for your attention to this matter, Mr. Lehrer. :-))
Very funny! 🤗
an economist friend of mine used to say, "the invisible hand of the marketplace is all thumbs"!
Summa cum dumbass!
No one at Wharton has any recollection of him.
What responsible nurturing parent would allow their underage child to enter that hell hole knowing stepping in there would mar their future?
Nah, his “Dad” wasn’t a decent father just a rich bastard!
Yeah, they might grow up to be Republican!
A trumplican
Holy smokes. So he really did go to college.
Sarah -- it was the "Erectoral College", which he rigged in his favor.
Are you referring to that tongue depressor and roll of gauze?
OK Alan. You got it again today. You really have
to stop hogging this award.
Thanks Suzanne. Andy's humor is contagious as well as curative!
Sarah correctly refers to “college.” Most of us think of Wharton as the graduate school at which students earn an MBA. Trump was an under-graduate and, we’re told, earned a BS or BA. He likes people to think he has an MBA. The very idea gives me an attack of cognitive dissonance.
Oh, but he has an MBA Erika. Master Bullshit Artist.
When my brother was about to graduate from college, he was considering graduate school; he’s a computer scientist, so his undergraduates degree was a BS. His advisor had reservations and explained that, in the end, it’s all Bull Shit, More Shit, and Piled higher and Deeper.
Until you know so much about so little you disappear uppa you ass.
--or Massive Bimbo Attractor!
Sorry. You're probably right, but I'm not sure he's anything but a master of being "naster".
yet another example of his "factual" statements-Erika is correct-"Wharton" refers to the graduate school, to which DJT never attended or even applied. But he has identified his "background" as a Wharton student so often, HE probably thinks he did attend (along with millions who don't question his statements). Just like that sharpie and the hurricane path.
I agree that "college degree" and "B.S." can be used in the same sentence when referring to tRump, but not in the way most people would think (unless you're a TBRer)
I love your "cognitive dissonance", trust your "psychological discomfort", but doubt your "conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes". (Sorry. I wanted to look up a good definition and it made me smile and want to comment.) Didn't say that well. I Do believe you have those conflicting beliefs, etc to That guy.
The finest schools but he only used to cheat in them.
To be repetitious, his father's major donations are what kept him enrolled and paid for the degree.
See Citizens United.
He paid to play; I mean his Dad did. Tell me he had super grades, competitive SATs and admirable extracurricular activities and I’ll
Tell you where you can find a real unicorn.
Honorary “degree” from Trump
University.
Yes!! They need to publish those also…
And then they also found his health care plan
A miracle! They found something that probably doesn't exist!
Which confirms that no one is smart than a 5 th grader!
Exactly what I was thinking! Elementary school kids are amazing, especially 5th graders!!
Yup! I know. I used to teach 'em.
Absolutely!
Roughly 6 to 11 is a lovely time: great company, sweet and creative, and mature enough not to need constant surveillance. I actually cried on my daughter's 11th birthday, knowing that life would never be quite the same (and I was right). She's a pretty good grown-up, though.
Excepting the kids who Dump bossed around in the morning, the afternoon, the evenings, and all weekend long. With any luck, they’ve moved on (unlikely!).
And braver! Not afraid of being sued by the old orange guy.
I am so relieved that the Epstein list and Trump’s taxes have finally been found!
Hilarious! Great way to start the week. Thanks Andy!
"It was NOT the Epstein list," Trump claimed. "It was a list of names for hurricanes that will hit Alabama. "
Hank, did he point out his proof: The list was circled with a Sharpie! 🖊️🤔
Thevlist of Epstein names was also splattered with spilled covfefe and was found next to important documents relating to trumps newest lawsuits against the Washington Commanders and Cleveland Guardians demanding that they change their “woke” names back to Redskins and Indians…
LOL on the spilled covfefe!!!
There were hamburder wrappers all over, too!
Actually, he claimed that it was penned by Teddy Roosevelt...
Don’t forget Asheville No. Carolina, Colorado, the relentless L.A. fires
<snort laugh>
Thanks for that morning laugh. Can you imagine a bunch of 5th graders holding a press conference about what they found and criticizing his spelling?
I’d love to be a substitute teacher on that auspicious day.
Trump falsely dismissed this report as fake news.
Everything Andy writes is true.
Yup, that's what we keep telling him. His honest face and all that.
Love field trips! My son’s 8th grade field trip to DC stopped in Baltimore. The kids all ran to Hooters for lunch and to get their Hooters purchased t-shirt signed by Jeff, Donald, and Diddy. All in the same booth!
You can’t make this stuff up!
Somehow the t-shirt disappeared!
Something of a Goldmine!
That is TOO FUNNY!! I’ve never even been to a hooters. Is there one in New England?
That is one that just googling it will put a dem in jail.
Awkward joking about this stuff. Real victims. Real powerful males. But we need to keep this one Alive.
I hope that one day a trans, in either direction, beats the piss out of him - and he cries.
Peace
how much did they charge for those autographs? <smile>
Disappeared?! Mom ! ! !
is the the debut of harland’s son on tbr?
I believe so
the future looks bright for that lad!
I wondered that too.
Son? Must be a grandson by now!😅😅😅
lol!
I guess I haven't been keeping up. Had to Google Harland Dorrinson and got back a whole list of what appeared to be unrelated bios. Help me. Who is this guy??
he’s a recurring character in various tbr posts. another recurring character is carol foyler, who led today’s student tour at mar-a-lago.
Thanks, Steve. I thought he was real. Guess I forgot who I was reading.
I know it's bad when I lose my sense of humor. i"m so far over the corruption and ugliness and craven cruel actions against so many ... that I am having trouble finding any of it funny. I wish I could... I feel like this is burning us alive... and i am grateful for the humor, for all the artists, for the beauty of the natural world.. and for our hearts that stay open and true. xo lisa
Oh, hysterical. Great way to start the day!! Thanks!
This one kills me. (And wouldn't you know a Dorrinson would be involved.)
You are rockin' it, as usual!
Between you and Jesse Duquette delivering 🤣, I might just make it. Humor makes the 🌍 go round.
Alan Dershowitz was standing guard there. The young girls thought he was creepy.
And they would be right!
And the door had a lock.
If the teacher couldn’t open the door, surely a pack of 5th graders could pick the lock without any problem!
Did the kids find a bathtub full of dirty money?
The outer knob has a little hole in its center...
He was just trolling for new clients