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Andy Borowitz's avatar

I follow the science.

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Stephanie MacLeod's avatar

A huge laugh out loud from me this morning. I was in the doldrums yesterday (a land formation that happens after a bomb is dropped on another country), so much needed! My son was called the littlest man when he was born, then the little man, and then just the man. Rubio is going in reverse and soon will be the littlest Rubio! Speaking of land formations and melting ice caps, I heard that Professor Logsden is working on a study of a possible sink hole beneath the white house due to mining of brain power. Usually there is enough time for it to be refreshed, like when we had Obama for eight years after Bush W. It refilled with Biden, but it is now just being sucked out, with no chance of any intelligence being replaced. Only comfort, it could open up, and DJT will be sucked to oblivion.

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Annette's avatar

Stephanie ~ I believe part of the reason for the sinkhole is the digging up of/paving over of the White House Rose Garden. Unfortunately for tRump, because he hires "only the best," we know the contractors hired for the addition of the WH ballroom plan to build over the location of said sinkhole. Fortunately for most Americans, tRump is not heeding the warnings and will go ahead with his construction.

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M Seits's avatar

The desecration of Jackie Kennedy’s Rose Garden is one of the worst things that ever happened to the White House or “the dump” as tRrump called it in his first term. The second worst is turing the Oval Office into a gold filled room that looks more like a bordello than a presidential office…

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John Townsend's avatar

--Surely not that any one of us even knows what a bordello's insides looks like....

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M Seits's avatar

Weren’t there photos published of trumps “Golden Shower” caper in Russia a number of years ago? Maybe that’s where I might have seen one!!

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Michael Little's avatar

If we were about to be beamed down somewhere, much better a bordello than tRump's oval office. Bordello workers, of course, are providing a public service, unlike the current "worker" in the oval office.

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Judith Green's avatar

Yes, "bordello" - I've been struggling for the right word!

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Michael Stayton's avatar

And the flag poles will need go go.

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Karen Livolsi's avatar

Imma bet everyone with a shovel and a backhoe at the White House is not a white person.

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Annette's avatar

I know the guys installing the flagpoles were confused as to why ConOLD went on one of his rants while they had to stand there and take his inappropriate comments . . . he's such an embarrassment

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kdsherpa's avatar

"Lemme ask you, who here is an illegal immigrant? Come on!"

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Annette's avatar

what an ass he is! Did he expect Kristi Gnome to race out and cuff the guy? <smh>

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Sally Joy Rubin's avatar

White House ballroom? There isn't even an out-breath word for this.

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Dana Campbell's avatar

Those giant flagpoles cannot be helping.

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Stephanie MacLeod's avatar

Hopefully they will sink, too.

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Bill's avatar

tRUMP's flagpole presser was surreal. Why the actual fuck is he talking about this trivia when the world is coming apart? Oh, I know! Because he doesn't know what he's doing so he focuses on something his pea-brain can understand

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

It is not possible to mine anything that does not exist, and never did.

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Sharon Herrick's avatar

Our government is brain-dead. Anti-woke=catatonic.

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Gerry Boyce's avatar

Alas poor Marco thought we knew him well. Of all the adults throughout space and time, me thought he was the only adult in Kim Trump Un’s cabinet. Alas!! I admit my delusion.

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Mike Sabes's avatar

He looked bored or confused or asleep in the photo of the situation room.

Or maybe he was thinking, how to explain the bombing to the rest of the world and still stay credible.

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

It's too late for Littler Marco to "stay credible", if he ever was credible.

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John Townsend's avatar

Too bad others in the White House do not admit theirs!

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Linda Cooper-Smith's avatar

The tooth fairy isn’t melting the polar ice caps. I believe in science like you.

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John Townsend's avatar

Trump's hot air from either end is not helping either.

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Trish's avatar

Wonder if Rubio's increasingly dead-looking eyes is connected to shrinkage. Maybe both happen when the soul leaves the body.

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MLK's avatar

If Rubio had a soul, it shrank to nothingness when he went to work for Dump.

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Katherine P Duncan's avatar

But of course.

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Glenn Sills's avatar

It is hard to say if this is true or not. No one misses him so he's like a tree falling in the woods alone.

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MLK's avatar

Rubio is like Benjamin Button, shrinking to infantile dimensions.

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lougee's avatar

looks like he is following tulsi

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

When it comes to Trump, his Cabinet, his family, his donors, etc., Follow the Money.

That, Andy, is the Science of Politics.

Q: How does one know when a politician is lying?

A: Whenever he/she/they are speaking.

[NOT original with this skeptic. I do not take prisoners.]

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Cindy's avatar

😁 You and Ann Telnaes on the same page ⁉️ 😁😁😁👍

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Carol Hatch's avatar

Poor little Marco. At least he won’t have to bend over so far to kiss his master’s feet.

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Marilyn Jackson's avatar

Or another part of the dear leader's anatomy.

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Marmo's avatar

At the rate he's going, Marilyn Jackson, soon Littler Marco won't need to bend over at all to kiss that part. And I'm going to stop right there.

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Brenda Reiss's avatar

Feet? You must mean higher up

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

But he won’t be tall enough to kiss agent orange’s bulbous ass🤓

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Oh I am certain his nose will grow like Pinocchio and fit very nicely in the ass-hole.

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John Townsend's avatar

Delightfully pornographic!

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

You know Marlene, none of us will be able to unsee that picture.

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

...and Taco Don will be moaning "lie to me big boy! Lie!"

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

LOL

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John Townsend's avatar

--or his big bottom!

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Chas Scollard's avatar

Don’t you mean derrière ?

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Christopher Bruno's avatar

Vance kinda warmed up that sofa for Marco.

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Italien's avatar

😂😂😂

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Maybe Marco is Vance’s sofa fluffer? Trump can’t have anyone looking like his logical successor until after the convention, Vance’s turn will come too. Of course that’s assuming that the 2028 election isn’t cancelled by the orange douche who would be king.

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Teresa's avatar

🤢

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Teresa's avatar

OMG! That means his brain is shrinking too 😳! Smaller than it already was 😱

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Italien's avatar

What brain? Abby normal?

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Kathy's avatar

Look at Trump’s entire cabinet, does ANYONE see even one person who

exhibits signs of having a brain? NO. Trump specifically requires that any/every person in his administration must be dumber than he is, hence the brainless batch of fools making funny/not so funny actions/statements/decisions. HELP WANTED, NO BRAIN REQUIRED

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

However, Brain Worms are welcome.

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Mary Roeser's avatar

It is difficult, very nearly impossible, to find any species, animal, vegetable, or mineral, dumber than Donnie Demento, but somehow, they have managed to do so. His entire kakistocracy is chock-full to overflowing with them.

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Linda MacDonald's avatar

Echos of Young Franenstein😅😅😅

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David Gardiner's avatar

That's "Frahnkensteen," Italien.

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Michael Little's avatar

Gotta love the Young Frankenstein reference! Marty Feldman is entertaining folks in heaven these days.

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Teresa's avatar

I hope it’s contagious….

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Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

As far as brain shrinkage, I know you hope it’s contagious, but first you have to have a brain in the first place for it to shrink.

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Janeo's avatar

I heard Bobby Jr's brain worm got loose in the Oval Office. That may explain it all.

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Kate Decker's avatar

This is an eminently scientifically significant observation. I'm nominating you, Pam, for pointing this out in these parlous times, to the general public, on a need-to-know basis. :-)

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Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

I am not a doctor but I play one on TV!

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Annette's avatar

good enough for us! TRump isn't a leader, but tried to play one on TV.

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Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

Oh Good one!

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Kate Decker's avatar

Wow! really?! (I bet they are glad to have someone in the role who actually operates from a place of scientific understanding. :-) (Which TV show?)

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Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

Looney Tunes

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It's Come To This's avatar

He must have a very SHMALL schwanzstücke....

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Christopher Bruno's avatar

Shrinkage. Like George Costanza.

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Gabriele C Overweg's avatar

Oh dear, do I have to blush?

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Linda MacDonald's avatar

😅😅😅

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Jonathan Aborn's avatar

He was never the “sharpest bulb”…Ask Chris Christie.

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Teresa's avatar

😂😂

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

A brain isn't necessary for anyone in Trump's cabinet. They just have to follow the brain of the "very stable genius".

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misia.d's avatar

Sad but so true. Eventually he’ll get tossed on the pile of other used sponges.

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Kate Decker's avatar

Yes. He is visibly drying out, innit?

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misia.d's avatar

He must be running out of tears, no?

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

You owe SpongeBob an apology.

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misia.d's avatar

Sponge Bob I apologize for tone. Please realize that I would never consider you used, but rather just well squeezed!

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WoodsmanBob's avatar

Marco: an educated Man that went to the Dark Side........Don't these people have a conscience and realizing they are just adding to the Hatred, Bigotry, Horrible Decisions........When will the Real Leaders come forward?

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Shaké Topalian's avatar

Nope, when power, greed and a vacuous are the essence of the man/woman, there is no capacity for self reflection to realize that hatred, bigotry etc. are anywhere in the mind of these evil men and women who have taken over our country. They have no ethical caring sensibility. It is only about power to enhance their little selves. They have to go.

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Mike Sabes's avatar

How can he work for a man that hates immigrants like Marco's parents?

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Kate Decker's avatar

Glad you asked. The answer is, No, these edicated people do not have a conscience. Just thought you'd like to know... :-)

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Bobbie75's avatar

I respect them less than a used car salesman.

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Marmo's avatar

Littler Marco might have an education, but he's never had a backbone or a scruple. He's always ridden on any prevailing wind. And Littler Marco has always had a fluid relationship with facts and the truth, which makes him a perfect Dumpster. If honesty and justice ever conquer the Dump Shitehouse, then Littler Marco will be firmly in support of that. He lied his way into Florida Government and has continued to align himself with whatever "beliefs" will supply him with power. If he feels any shame or embarrassment, he deserves every bit of it. But, I think that he's shrinking so that he can later deny full participation in any of this should it come tumbling down. He's fine going either way.

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Lucy Guerlac's avatar

His downcast eyes speak volumes. He at least knows the future is not bright for him. The bulb is dimming daily!

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Two scenarios: 1) They are taking drugs that deem them completely void of any feelings or 2) They all were held at gunpoint and their lives and the lives of their family were threatened by Putin’s thugs, if they didn’t go along with “the plan”.

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Paul Snyderman's avatar

I see the possibility for a Hollywood adaptation. "The Incredible Shrinking Mario" will be a classic.

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BTAM Master's avatar

This could be a 1950's black and white classic! And if it becomes contagious, it would have a happy ending.

If they all shrank enough, you could let the cat take care of them.

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Annette's avatar

A sequel in the making: "Honey, I Shrunk the Secretary of State"

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Or a remake of The Fantastic Voyage? Who would micro Marco be injected into? Maybe Mitch McConnell or Marjorie Taylor Greene?

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John Townsend's avatar

"Into The Voids".

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Annette's avatar

a fate worse than death!

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BTAM Master's avatar

I was thinking more along the line of "The Incredible Shrinking Man" (1957) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0050539/. Amazingly, this gets a 7.6 rating. I thought it was pretentiously silly, but what do I know?

Do I really want to publicly admit I watch this stuff?

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Louis Judson's avatar

The original novel or story "He Who Shrank" is really marvelous piece. He keeps shrinking until he falls between the atoms of Earth and finds himself floating in space of the next smaller universe. He lands on a planet and finds another world, keeps on shrinking and finding ever smaller universes. Quite a wonderful imaginative work! A galaxy to us is an atom to someone else, and so on, ad infinitum. Bye bye Mario!

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Shades of Blaize Pascal!

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Paul Snyderman's avatar

B&W is the perfect touch. Just like "Psycho" too.

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Kate Decker's avatar

:-) !!

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Susan Stone's avatar

Hopefully the cat would not be a hungry cat, just a hunter.

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Jean-Pierre Gariépy's avatar

All of Quebec laughs so much at your texts. Thank you, Mr. Borowitz. Courage to our American friends.

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Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

Thank you for not hating all us Yanks!

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Kate Decker's avatar

TBR is : One of the great resources currently alive and well in America. Treasured, valued, and even seen by Canadians (we're so sorry about the rest...)

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Annette's avatar

Yes, Oh Canada, we despise him too!

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

We love you guys. Please say you'll come back when

we get rid of this Orange Slob.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Hi Canada! We love you all!

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Teresa's avatar

🙏🙏

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

We love you guys. Please say you'll come back when

we get rid of this Orange Slob.

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Judith Richards's avatar

Oh goody. Maybe he'll disappear and take Kristi Gnome, RFK Jr and the rest of the evil people with him. Including T**** and Mitch McConnell. 🙏🙏🙏

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Kate Decker's avatar

I love Kristi's last name! Brilliant!! :-) !!

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

That was exactly what I thought.

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Stephen Brady's avatar

And his influence is disappearing faster! One wonders which Cabinet position will be added to his plate next?

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Annette's avatar

I hear Tulsi Gabbard's position is in jeopardy!

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Stephen Brady's avatar

It looks more and more like Tulsi is going to be the first ejection from the tRump II Regime.

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Mike Sabes's avatar

A very ignorant lady as to world politics dumber that a brick!

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Stephen Brady's avatar

That is a necessary precondition for appointment by the Orange Menace.

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Linda's avatar

There is no need to denigrate bricks, Mike.

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Harvey Perry's avatar

Dropped from a helicopter over the Atlantic?

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Annette's avatar

bye Cruella!

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John Townsend's avatar

--certainly never on "Jeopardy"!

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Kris Walker's avatar

Yes. Lilliputian Marco. Or, better yet, Extinct Marco.

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Italien's avatar

Fingers crossed !!😏

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Kris Walker's avatar

and, toes, too...

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Mike Pennington's avatar

Trump must have some rule about how far behind him each of his boot lickers stand. They’re seldom ever beside him, always a few feet back, Rubio might have been assigned a longer distance. Maybe he’s falling out of favor because he hasn’t prosecuted or opened investigations on any democrats that Trump wants locked up and out of the way.

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Susan Sterner's avatar

The picture of the Fat Orange Pig with his bootlickers behind him, reminds me of the Fat North Korean Pig and his bootlickers. Trump’s asskissers all have on their red ties and blue suits uniforms. Just like Dear Leader Fat Orange Pig in his uniform. Heaven help us.

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Marmo's avatar

I have noticed, Mike Pennington. Nobody ever stands beside him - even his moneybags, FElon, was stuck behind - everyone must be behind him. And I remember during the first reign of terror, when Melaria still pretended to live with him, Dump would exit his plane and she (and sometimes the kid) would always be walking behind him - never beside him. And remember at a meeting abroad when he pushed aside the other world leaders so he could stand in front of them. He keeps everyone behind him. Poor people, needing to be down wind of that.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

The Three Stooges whose heads nodded up and down like bobbleheads on a dashboard!

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Mike Fitch's avatar

Trump to his lackeys before they marched out to the podium,

"You all stay in the Fart Zone, understood?"

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John Townsend's avatar

"Okay, boss, and we'll bring the Febreze!"

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CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

I think it's Hatchet Face Pam Bondi's job to investigate and prosecute Democrats, not Littler Marco's. He's supposed to be protecting the U.S. via diplomacy. He might as well shrink away -- Diplomacy is not part of Trump's agenda.

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Douglas Buchanan's avatar

Who is this guy you are discussing?

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Diane Davis's avatar

I love you, Andy.

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Katherine P Duncan's avatar

So say we all.

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Italien's avatar

Hear hear!!

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Susan Sterner's avatar

I love you more!

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Larry Caringer's avatar

Perfect in with every sentence. The “Little Marco” punchline to close nailed it.

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Kate Decker's avatar

:-) !! Yep.

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