Scotland Celebrates Departure of Trump
SCOTLAND (The Borowitz Report)—Massive celebrations erupted across Scotland on Wednesday to mark what Scots called “the glorious departure of Donald Trump.”
According to Scottish historian Hamish McDorrinson, the spontaneous festivities were the largest since the nation’s triumph in the Battle of Bannockburn in 1314.
In the hours since Air Force One carried Trump out of their country’s air space, Scots are estimated to have drunk 3.7 million gallons of whisky, besting the record set by Pete Hegseth.
Enter the Caption Contest!
Trump may claim “I don’t write pictures,” but this self-portrait, exclusively obtained by TBR, proves otherwise! Now it’s time for you to come up with the perfect caption. If you win you’ll receive two tickets to my next show, where I’ll meet you and personalize a copy of my book, Profiles in Ignorance. Submit your caption here!
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As I said on my restack, I envy the Scots. They got to celebrate his departure. When will it be our turn?!?!?!? 😡😡💔🇺🇸🤬🤬
Caption: It's just a rectal exam. Think of it as me grabbing you by the pussy.