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The Borowitz Report

Scotland Celebrates Departure of Trump

Jul 30, 2025
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Photo by Ross Gilmore/Getty Images

SCOTLAND (The Borowitz Report)—Massive celebrations erupted across Scotland on Wednesday to mark what Scots called “the glorious departure of Donald Trump.”

According to Scottish historian Hamish McDorrinson, the spontaneous festivities were the largest since the nation’s triumph in the Battle of Bannockburn in 1314.

In t…

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