After renaming the San Andreas Fault to Joe Biden's Fault (stole that one), he could blame California, and get a toofer. Then there are all those Persians adopted by single cat ladies. They would never honor a pawse in hostilities, unless there was a catnip clawse.
Nah, it's Obama. Donnie's really really pissed that Obama received a Nobel Prize and he hasn't -- says he should have gotten at least several of them for all his genius accomplishments in promoting a peaceful world. You know, like dropping bombs and calling in armed militia to rough folks up (aka: force peace on the proletariat). Poor needy boy. Please, somebody give the guy a participation trophy to shut him up.
Trump then accused the Biden auto pen of breaking the “forever ceasefire” that DonOld just announced yesterday. The shortest forever in the history of the world.
Everyone knows that the autopen is to blame. It is controlled 100% by the Far Left Deep State for whom people like Adam Schiff and Hakeem Jeffries are mouthpieces. This is OBVIOUS from their extreme socialist, commie agendas. Biden was never more than a robotic figurehead. The only job Schumer has had in the Senate for years has been writing the Biden dummy’s dialogue and manipulating the arms. I mean, you can tell that only another old guy would move in that way. I can only assume that on the night of the debate, Schumer had one too many Tequila Sunrises.
This site might be day to day, although some days it is minute to minute. Would need to include conflicting messages from the Cabinet. Karoline, MTG and of course, Laura Loony.
Good grief, you weren't joking. I wonder whether Donald ever possessed a shred of impulse control, or if dementia has destroyed that shred. (And I am not joking, either.)
There you go the WTF statement DOES apply to him, the President, who signed his “I brokered Middle East peace” notice as “Donkld” J. Trump. Those short, chunky fingers can be a problem sometimes!
Thank goodness for Joe Biden. He is always so handy to take all the blame for absolutely everything. (could mr trumpf possibly alternate his script, for variety's sake, with blaming, say, the Postal Mail Carriers, or the Kindergarten teachers, just for variety?)
Can't help noticing that in his rant this morning Trump said he ordered Bibi to turn the Israeli bombers around so as not to break the cease fire. I thought the US was unable to turn its own planes around when they were taking immigrants to El Salvador....
He wears it all the time now. It’s either to cover his bald spot or to save time and money by firing his overworked hair stylist. Looks very classy with a suit.
I thought he was going to blame Haitian immigrants.
I thought he was going to blame Hillary. But, his mushy mind gets Hillary and Biden mixed up - it's all the same thing to him.
He could also blame PM musk and his crew.
Maybe Signal Gate is working again.
Ah, come on! People keep making fun of Trump for making stupid mistakes. Unfair! You try being President with an IQ of 85!
How did it get that high?
Grade school dropout.
I believe you may have the numbers reversed...58 sounds more likely.
You have overstated his IQ by 85 points.
He obviously had help on the IQ test.
Yes, cue cards: Person woman man camera tv
It's really that high?
IQ of 85? That can only mean that daddy fred trump bought him an extra 40 IQ points!
I suspect that tRump will say next that "Biden is eating the cats, eating the dogs!"
--and Biden replies, "Only the hot dogs at the Delaware State Fair".
And the geese.
After renaming the San Andreas Fault to Joe Biden's Fault (stole that one), he could blame California, and get a toofer. Then there are all those Persians adopted by single cat ladies. They would never honor a pawse in hostilities, unless there was a catnip clawse.
Next announcement: ICE does house-to-house search for those Persians, tears them away from grieving families, and sends them to Salvador.
Good steal.
Joe Biden’s Fault: hilarious!😺
Can't stop laughing at all of your post!!! We should never let the "cat lady" thing be forgotten!!!
Clever!
Painfully good, Stephanie!
🤮😁
I think Frederick Douglass may have had a hand in this. He's still alive, right?
Maybe Mr. Douglass teamed up with Hannibal Lecter. You never know.
I thought he was going to blame the cats and dogs 🤓
Naww, they were too busy eating the dogs and cats. 😉
I thought he'd blame Obama. But I guess now it's Biden. Or Hillary.
Nah, it's Obama. Donnie's really really pissed that Obama received a Nobel Prize and he hasn't -- says he should have gotten at least several of them for all his genius accomplishments in promoting a peaceful world. You know, like dropping bombs and calling in armed militia to rough folks up (aka: force peace on the proletariat). Poor needy boy. Please, somebody give the guy a participation trophy to shut him up.
They're next.
then Tulsi... and Littler Marco
No, they're too busy eating their pets.
Trump then accused the Biden auto pen of breaking the “forever ceasefire” that DonOld just announced yesterday. The shortest forever in the history of the world.
Of course the autopen was involved!!!
“The Moving Finger writes; and having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it” (LI)
Thank you, Omar! Welll said!
Everyone knows that the autopen is to blame. It is controlled 100% by the Far Left Deep State for whom people like Adam Schiff and Hakeem Jeffries are mouthpieces. This is OBVIOUS from their extreme socialist, commie agendas. Biden was never more than a robotic figurehead. The only job Schumer has had in the Senate for years has been writing the Biden dummy’s dialogue and manipulating the arms. I mean, you can tell that only another old guy would move in that way. I can only assume that on the night of the debate, Schumer had one too many Tequila Sunrises.
I've heard the Autopen is powered by Jewish Space Lasers
Yes, of course, that makes sense. It must be through a Schumer connection.
And here I thought the forever ceasefire would last... two weeks.
It was just a concept of a ceasefire.
concept=illusion
Perfect!
the real ceasefire will happen in two weeks . . . along with the infrastructure plan and a health program
see above "longest two weeks."
the "most beautiful longest two weeks"!
--and Biden stole the Sharpie afterwards!.
Not just ANY laptop; HUNTER’S laptop!!
Bingo!
Well, naturally. Using Hillary's e-mail account.
Wait a minute. I thougth Biden died in 2020, and some robot (or Obama) was running the country. Which is it, Orange cult leader?!
It is hard to keep up with the orange turd's accusations.
You about need a scorecard.
Score card for the accusations, and a list, updated daily, on the lawsuits that have been filed so far. I wonder if Andy is up for that task.
Andy would die of exhaustion!
True. Sorry Andy, we need you too much. I sure hope someone, or maybe a group will take up this challenge.
It is damn near impossible to keep up with all his crimes, lies and daily outrages.
Anyone with a suggestion? We NEED to do this.
He hates the Constitution, rule of law, democracy and the American people.
There are some great independent news sources, but you have to read so many it takes all day.
One site completely devoted to the outrages. Short and sweet. Free.
This site might be day to day, although some days it is minute to minute. Would need to include conflicting messages from the Cabinet. Karoline, MTG and of course, Laura Loony.
He really said it! https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-shares-unfounded-conspiracy-theory-claiming-biden-was-executed-2-rcna210244
And here's another wacko from a year ago: https://azmirror.com/briefs/gop-lawmakers-spread-debunked-body-double-conspiracies/
Good grief, you weren't joking. I wonder whether Donald ever possessed a shred of impulse control, or if dementia has destroyed that shred. (And I am not joking, either.)
There you go the WTF statement DOES apply to him, the President, who signed his “I brokered Middle East peace” notice as “Donkld” J. Trump. Those short, chunky fingers can be a problem sometimes!
Donkld? Is his nickname Donkey? That's an insult to donkeys, of course, who are excellent at what they do.
I goofed he signed Donakd not Donkld. Though both wrong, my misspelling is funnier.
Mea culpa.
It may be this one, it may be that one, he's going to tell us in two weeks time.
And then again, maybe he won't tell us in 2 weeks.....
F-bombs and buster bombs. What a statesman.
Not.
For a senile old man, that Biden is certainly very maliciously clever.
Well, he had help from Obama🤓
A certain "Mwah-ha-ha" can be heard throughout Delaware!
Trump truly is a fool surrounded by toadies
But controlled by reactionary autocratic billionaires and malevolent tech companies. What could go wrong?
"What could go wrong?" Unfortunately, we're all going to find out.
“Darkly hinted” prompted an epic, bigly beautiful snort. Thank you, as ever, dear Andy!
Thank goodness for Joe Biden. He is always so handy to take all the blame for absolutely everything. (could mr trumpf possibly alternate his script, for variety's sake, with blaming, say, the Postal Mail Carriers, or the Kindergarten teachers, just for variety?)
Now you ask for variety from him? Blood from stones? Milk from boulders....?
Can't help noticing that in his rant this morning Trump said he ordered Bibi to turn the Israeli bombers around so as not to break the cease fire. I thought the US was unable to turn its own planes around when they were taking immigrants to El Salvador....
What is good for the goose, evidently, is not good for the gander.
Trump only takes credit for things he hasn't done.
Everything and anything, including his own B.O., is Biden's fault.
Thanks for making me laugh about all this yet again this morning!
Do the math: If 35% of our fellow citizens are hard-core MAGA, look to your left and right...one of them is fucking nuts
One of them is fucking nuts, unless you are
--and is making the rest of us effing nuts!
The best non-Andy Borowitz induced laugh today. Thank you.
Somebody tell that yellow asshole to take off the goddamn red hat.
Doesn't he realize how stupid he looks in those idiotic hats?
He looks just as stupid & repulsive wearing that half assed toupee!
Obviously, he does not realize so many things!
He’s going to go ape-shit crazy when he sees the cover of Time. Gird your loins, Borowitzers.
He wears it all the time now. It’s either to cover his bald spot or to save time and money by firing his overworked hair stylist. Looks very classy with a suit.
My wife says it’s to cover his screwed up hair.
Yup. It was that lawless auto pen for sure