263 Comments
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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Let’s follow their example: NO KINGS march on Oct 18. Save the date!

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Susan Barnes's avatar

We may be a crowd of 2 in our 95% for 🍊💩 head county in Tenn., but we’re in.

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M.E. Lawrence's avatar

You two are important examples, encouraging those who would secretly like to be more Dem-like/liberal/humane.

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Mary Gilbert's avatar

M. E., you hit the nail on the head!

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Kandy Brown's avatar

My husband and will be there in Reno,NV, WITH BELLS ON!!!!!! It will be just like Christmas!

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Sheri Drisac's avatar

Hi Kandy! My husband & I will be there/here in Reno, too!!! How about we both wear bells and then if we see each other in the crowd, which I know will be gigantic, we can say "hi" to each other!!! 🔔😊

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Alan's avatar

Andy,

With headlines like this one appearing in other media sources, your challenges to devise humorous (although always true) stories for TBR grow more daunting each day -- and demonstrate your immense professional talent!

(From THE HILL) Breaking News: Trump says he is designating anti-fascist Antifa movement as terrorist organization.

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Scott's avatar

Wait until he finds out looking for Antifa is a snipe hunt. Lots of Humvees aimlessly wandering the countryside searching for them hippies!

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Franca Garofalo's avatar

Yes! We must get out and make ourselves heard while we still can! These are dangerous times when even Jimmy Kimmel gets canceled for making a statement that was actually true. Oct 18 - spread the word.

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

And does Fox News morning show host Brian Kilmeade get cancelled for saying "Just kill them" (via "involuntary lethal injection") as a solution to the problem of mentally ill homeless people? NO. He's who should have been cancelled for proposing a Nazi death camp "final solution" and the right doesn't raise an eyebrow. What the bleeding fuckery is this, huh??? Dear God those people are sickening!!!

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Jerr's avatar

Not only sickening, very dangerous. Injecting the mentally ill, and other undesirables smacks of the Nazis that started in 1939.

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

JUST HEARD ON THE NEWS: Already homeless people are being murdered in response to Brian Kilmeade's instruction to "Just kill them." A mass murder of eight people in a homeless encampment, and a homeless man lynched. I'm so sickened and grief-stricken I don't know what to do with myself.

The Nazis are now taking action, folks!

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Absolutely! And it must be stopped NOW.

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John Townsend's avatar

Answer: A hell whole lot of fuckery!

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Jacquie Ostrom's avatar

Thank goodness, Andy, you can't get canceled!!! Keep up the wonderful positive very healing work you do for all of our sanity!

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

The Declaration of Independence told us ~250 years ago that it is OUR RIGHT and -- more importantly -- OUR DUTY to throw out such a leader / president who is attempting to take power as a tyrant. OUR RIGHT and OUR DUTY.

Unfortunately, though the Constitution does provide some answers re how ousting a would-be tyrant can be accomplished, we cannot rely on nor wait for our elected reps to take action and do something about it -- they're too busy picking lint from their navels and cravenly ducking and covering in dark corners. Very few are willing, courageous and strong enough to step up for our nation, and such a wee minority does not have the power to fix this madness.

Ergo, it is We the People who must. Before it comes to an irreparable breach. Before it comes to civil war. Cuz people, it's on its way and will happen if we don't act now.

I'm no legal mind, but the research I've done implies -- does not state, just IMPLIES -- that if the majority of citizens demand his ouster, then the WILL of We the People must be honored and can take precedence and be acted upon and put into effect. Hasn't been tested, but theoretically possible.

So I propose this: Before we're all censored and silenced and deported to Sudan or some other oblivion, we put together a petition and collect the signatures of at least 100 million registered voters who call for an end to the illicit Trump-Vance reign of terror and demand their ouster and imprisonment for high crimes against the state, such as conspiring to commit treason.

Don't know quite how quite how to word it. Ideas and thoughts are welcome.

Holy crap! Tough stuff, I know. But goddammit, we're witnessing the end of our freedoms and our lives as we knew them and our democracy, Constitution, and country. Time to step up.

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

I've thought this over for nearly 3 months, and now I've finally put this out there, and I'm terrified.

Any ideas and thoughts? Anyone?

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Kimmel was cancelled too?

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Rachel the Insomniac's avatar

I will be in Silverton, OR protesting on October 18. We MAD!!!

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Sharon P's avatar

My husband and I will be there !!!

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Suzanne Fausser's avatar

It is really becoming scary.

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Judy Forkner's avatar

Just checked my calendar--it's on there!

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Jimmy Kimmel should have stuck to acceptable comments, like suggesting that homeless people be executed

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Marmo's avatar

Kimmel should have stuck to pleasant things like people who are arrested getting executed in front of children to teach children to behave properly.

This is all that Kimmel said: "The Maga Gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it." - Nothing nasty about Kirk - just stating a fact and he gets silenced. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, then it does. This is super scary. It's not even one year and look what's happening.

Andy B: Do you still think we're going to survive this for 39 more months?

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Stressed Sue's avatar

I think it was the joke AFTER this that pierced the thin-skinned baby. Kimmel showed the clip of a reporter asking Trump how he’s “holding up after the tragic death of Charlie Kirk.” Trump said something like: “I’m okay.” And then he gestured toward the construction trucks and rambled about “the construction of this, big, beautiful ballroom we have been waiting for…for 250 years! Kimmel then joked, “Everyone grieves in his own way. Trump is on the fifth stage of grief—the CONSTRUCTION stage.”

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Bill's avatar

Hilarious...5th stage of grieving: Construction. Our country is a joke

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John Townsend's avatar

No, Donnie's the joke, a flat joke--the only flat thing about him!

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alex birman's avatar

I'm wondering about 39 more days.

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Marmo's avatar

I hear you, Alex Birman.

This is happening only because it's being allowed to happen.

If it's being allowed to happen, then I don't see how it gets stopped.

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

I know, I know!! WTF??? What do we do???

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John Townsend's avatar

A massive, peaceful demonstration in and around D.C. which stops traffic and business--which demands the resignation of Trump, Vance, Johnson.

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

A good start and very powerful -- we all will witness that folks, millions of them in protests everywhere, want this shit to end NOW!

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John Townsend's avatar

Not without an uprising? Seriously!

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Alan's avatar

Hi Marmo. This dynamic sounds like the converse of the cliche "Time flies when you're having fun" 🫣🕰️

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Elisabeth Birker's avatar

😭 😭 😭 right?!!! 🤮 🤮 🤮

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Paul Snyderman's avatar

Diaper change? That really Depends.

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David Gardiner's avatar

Plus size. More like Deep Ends.

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Amy Cain's avatar

Like Plus-sized!

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Boy howdy, nailed that one!!!

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George Weiss's avatar

Melania won’t touch him, she’s afraid the orange dye won’t wash off.

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Angie Longenecker's avatar

She is the same.

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George Weiss's avatar

Well at least she gets paid “big bucks” to be married to him.

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Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Melania’s UFO hats keep the 🍑💩from getting anywhere near her face!

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John Townsend's avatar

--as well as the shield which drops down and covers the rest of her!

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George Weiss's avatar

Funny. What a misaligned couple.

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John Townsend's avatar

Are we sure the orange dye won't wash off our country?

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Frau Katze's avatar

lol 😺😺😺

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It's Come To This's avatar

Stop. You're about to make me Poughkeepsie in my panties...

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John Townsend's avatar

So long as you don't Peoria!

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

OMG you guys!!!

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John Melmed's avatar

The contents of those diapers is what he colors his hair and face with.

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David Gardiner's avatar

Circular logic.

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SHEILA's avatar

I just canceled my Disney account and I’m going to sell my Disney stock in the morning.

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Pat Ebervein's avatar

I hope a LOT of people join you in that effort. Nothing is more effective than cutting off revenue. I hope Disney goes bankrupt.

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John Townsend's avatar

Cancel the Mickey Mouse Corporation who cringes before the Mickey Mouse Administration!

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Frau Katze's avatar

Right on!

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alex birman's avatar

ABC should have hired Maxwell to do the minute by minute commentary in her snooty Brit accent on the protest! She would have told the world what a wonderful "gentleman" Trump is, and those radical left Brit pesty protesters are the scum of the earth.

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Franca Garofalo's avatar

Good for you!

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Brava, Sheila! Get those bastards where it hurts!

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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

And they showed him with his closest friend pictured on Windsor Castle. What a welcome

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Bill Morgan's avatar

Who Epstein or Prince Andrew. Name me one friend that Trump has that he didn't buy

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Bob Graham's avatar

Satan is his close friend. And I saw it on South Park a reliable source.

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Elisabeth Birker's avatar

😂😂 very reliable 😂😂

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Mary Gilbert's avatar

Good one, Bob! 😜

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Elene Gusch's avatar

And there have been arrests related to that.

But not an arrest of the real criminal.

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Joseph T. Babcock's avatar

Trump is a joke period the British know it all too well

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Peter Scott's avatar

If the shoe fits (despite the cankles);

The term “ugly American” was popularized by the 1958 book of the same name by William Lederer and Eugene Burdick. It referred to certain types of behavior exhibited by some Americans in foreign lands. These included being self-absorbed, arrogant, demeaning, thoughtless, and ignorant of local customs.

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

And Drumpf is the epitome of THAT -- the end-all and be-all, the alpha and the omega, the zenith and utmost paradigm of crass, ugly, lousy, disgusting, moronic, self-absorbed, arrogant, demeaning, thoughtless behavior, as well as utterly careless re local customs, cuz, uh, he doesn't give 2 shits, except in his overloaded Depends, which nae doot need changing.

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John Townsend's avatar

If Drumpf is indeed the epitome of anything!

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SharonLindsey's avatar

OMG! “Changing g of the diaper”👏👏🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Bobbie75's avatar

Jimmy Kimmel just got suspended for telling the truth.

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Susan Stone's avatar

That is so sad! I feel bad for him because he is good at what he does.

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Bobbie75's avatar

I have been watching him Host Who Wants to be a Millionaire.

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Susan Stone's avatar

I figure he will survive. Too many people know, like, and appreciate him.

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John Townsend's avatar

I hope you are right!

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John Townsend's avatar

Hope he's in touch with very good lawyers and the ACLU for a massive, massive lawsuit!

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John Townsend's avatar

Under Trump, the truth will set you free--from your job!

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Susan Kice's avatar

Trump & MAGA are the diarrhea of the world!

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John Townsend's avatar

The Niagara Falls of the brown, stinky stuff!

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Bill Morgan's avatar

Nope he didn't get crowds like that

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Kandy Brown's avatar

And don't forget the wonderful photo of him and his "bestie" that the Brits rolled out on the lawn in front of the castle. I was afraid that the British had dumped us Americans, but I gotta love their grit!

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Sean M Carlin's avatar

Diaper Don’s London adventure. Nobody does satire like the Brits!

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Rosalyn Smith's avatar

Except Andy!

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Karen Rodd's avatar

OMG. This is reason #1001 why I love Andy!❤️❤️

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M.E. Lawrence's avatar

There've been some mentions here of Disney; is this about Kimmel's firing? Am I being too idealistic (or merely delusional) to imagine a Substack consortium of top comics: Borowitz, Colbert, Jones (Leslie), Kimmel, McKinnon, and the like? I'd pay for that.

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Barbara Longbrook's avatar

Great idea, M.E.!

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Wendy Tucker's avatar

I was just thinking almost the same thing--except instead of a Substack consortium, what about a new tv network devoted to nothing but HONEST news reportage combined with equal amount of satire and ridicule and humor.

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Doug Hezlep's avatar

This and the one about Memphis earlier made my day. Thank you

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Jeanne Haist's avatar

I’m amazed at the balloon maker’s art — it’s so realistic!

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David Gardiner's avatar

They knew that it had to be over inflated to express the malignant narcissist accurately.

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John Townsend's avatar

--and even that does not probably do the whole picture!

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Brilliant!!! 👏👏👏 🤣😂🤣😂🤣 ❤️❤️❤️

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