This past weekend the Minnesota Public Radio fund drive signed up over 5,000 BRAND NEW members in three days in addition to thousands of renewed members.
Humankind = Be Both is the motto.
We're bracing to be targeted soon by a Trump administration that views our upper Midwestern compassion and hospitality as communism.
Go figure. Send us those National Guard troops and we'll buy 'em all beers and make buddies, don't-cha-know?
Nah, they'll be met by your former Governor, Jesse Ventura, who will tell 'em, "Trump's a moron, and you should be kicking back watching the game instead of playing occupying army this weekend...."
Nope, that was Hulk Hogan—and good riddance to that Peter Thiel Puppet!
Ventura's 74 years old, does the talking head bit on ORA TV (mostly in favor of third-party candidates), and endorsed Kamala Harris and fellow Minnesotan Tim Walz in 2024:
Give 'em a kiss for me. Those poor soldiers are torn away from their families only to rake leaves and pick up trash! I saw a guardsman holding up a cardboard sign that said "We're only following orders". He didn't look at all happy to be doing this!
I love Tom Lehrer! His songs are so timely, so many decades later...as were his pithy comments not set to music. "Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kisssinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize." Lettuce pray that history does not repeat itself next year!
I love blue Maryland-our son & his family live in Baltimore in the lovely community of Homeland. Wonderful neighborhood & great neighbors; it’s certainly not the shithole as Trump described Baltimore.
Me too. A stone's throw from DC. You'd never guess how many radical left lunatics' corpses I have to step over or sidestep on my short walk home from the metro. Oh the carnage. Nobody's ever seen anything like it, that I can tell you.
In our small town of Canton, CT, we are so Hellacious that the Trump Adm. is investigating our schools for belonging to the Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference that mandates (according to state law) that students play on the sports team of the gender they identity with…Of course Canton currently has no transgender sports team players and every other town in CT belongs to the CIAC but sure, why not pick on our town of 12,000 people? After all we do have anti Trump protests on our tiny town green every Saturday morning so it is understandable…NOT…Btw the Trump minions are threatening to hold back $700,000. if Canton refuses to break state law….🙄
I wonder where I can find a blow up frog costume for No Kings’ Day…
It will no doubt soon be a hellscape in the ultra-blue state of CT. My husband and I live in the bustling metropolis of Ellington (pop. of approximately 16,000), which, you may be aware, is a volcano just waiting to erupt!!😉🙄
Oh yes, I am terrified to drive through the farm fields in Ellington…You can’t trust steaming cow manure and pumpkins…They may explode like that giant pumpkin did in Tolland! 🎃
Steaming or not, it still seems like another Antifa plot against humanity…So I don’t take any chances with driving through your town, with all your outrageous liberal terrorists…🎃
Of course it is, Marianne Burbank. Dump prefers when people are not educated - it's easier to frighten and to fool uneducated people. And uneducated people make Dump feel less ignorant.
It does not make him less ignorant, it just makes him feel less ignorant.
Why not get a bunch of large green balloons (various shapes), paint them, and then inflate them. Tie them together in bunches and take to the streets. You could glue some orange yarn to the tops of some of them. And maybe string a tiny button to the bottom edge of others?
Beg to differ. Mainly Musk hacked him the win -- combined with deleting registered voters from voter rolls, bomb threats, big ol' hairy bad mofo MAGAts making threats, discarding paper ballots into dumpsters and other forms of voter & vote suppression & sabotaging and election manipulation. There is an increasingly humungous mountain of evidence that points to this: tRUMP cheated his way into office, Musk & his malware were key in this effort, tRUMP defrauded the American people, this was NOT a legitimate election result, and the forensic audits and investigations into these illegal activities and election tampering must continue to the bitter end... bitter for the Malignant Mango Commander in Cheat, that is, cuz THAT SHITHEAD DID NOT WIN!!! So, no, people did NOT vote him into office.
So many times, John Townsend, I've wondered where are those thunderbolts! Especially when he enters a church. I thought that his kind could not cross the threshold of a church. He gets away with so much.
Thanks for the warning!!! 🐄 If you find one, let me know! I could add to the terrorist vibe here in Canton with one…Although a unicorn or frog would do too!
I had not heard that one…But sadly I am not surprised…We may not give in to fear…I have heard a couple of ideas if being harassed…Just sit down so we can’t be accused of assault…or being aggressive…Also to start singing….I am thinking something like Thus Land is Our Land…
OMFG!!! Spraying a brass band with tear gas?? That's some seriously sick power-tripping Nazi assholian shit right there!! Somebody's gotta stop those vicious terrorists and their violent thuggery and outrageously bad acts. God, you listening? I'm not for smiting to death, but howz about they all get struck down with incapacitating long Covid? Yeah, yeah, every single ICE agent or ICE agent wannabe should be laid up sick as a proverbial dog for months and months and months until all this ratfuckery grinds to a bleeding halt. Hey, God, I think this'll work! What say you?
I'm sure, Kathy Minicozzi, that the air quality improves a great deal when he's out of town. And when both Dump and Malaria are out of town, It must be sweet, indeed.
Michael: That's what I've been saying! I posted this yesterday somewhere, but I'll repeat it because it still confuses me: When I was young and first heard the word, "antifa", I asked what it meant. When I was told, I remember thinking, 'wait... aren't ALL Americans antifa? Didn't we fight world wars because we were anti-fascist? Didn't people lose their lives in order to put *down* fascism?' I was really confused, and again, I still am. Do they go around in blue caps, while maga dons red? Is there really an organized antifa?
You are not confused, Wis. "Antifa" is a term that refers to anti-Fascism. And, yes, many thousands of people in several countries, including America, died in multiple wars to stop Fascism from spreading.
Dump has mixed up anti-Fascism with anti-MAGA - because he is MAGA and he is a Fascist. So anything that does not support him/MAGA is bad and scary. So, that means that antifa is bad and scary. Dump talks about "Antifa" as if it's a club or a gang that gathers to do bad things. Really, it is an idea - an abhorrence of Fascism, which any decent person should feel.
So, Dump has no idea what antifa means, but that's not stopped him from feeding his "Antifa" fears to his MAGA fans - and they have no idea what it means, but they know that it's bad and dangerous.
Last year (was it only last year - really???) I heard a couple inteviewed and they both said that they hate "Woke" and they're going to stand together and fight it. When they were asked what "woke" means, the wife said: "I don't know what woke means, but I know that I don't like it" - and her husband nodded his head and said: "That's right." For real! They proudly said these things out loud and on camera. And there you have the MAGAs in a nutshell!
Marmo: well said all around. (First, it's crazy that it's only been 10 months of this - that is not a long time though it has felt like over four years already, and trump has turned this country inside out and ruined it in that short time.) Second, it drives me UP A WALL when I hear, "I don't know what *X* means, but I don't like it." It's almost as bad as choosing a president because the person is someone you could see having a beer with. EDUCATE YOURSELVES, AMERICA! Do you get how moronic these statements are, people?
I've never really understood what "woke" meant, either: I mean, when I first heard it, I thought it was a good thing. After all, on the face of it, it sounds positive, doesn't it? The alternative is "asleep", isn't it? From the contexts in which I keep hearing the word "woke", it's apparently terribly negative. But the more and more I understand what it means, just like with "antifa": I gotta say, I must be a "woke antifa" person, because I have an open mind and have values based on love and acceptance and integrity, and then I'm also against fascism. How are these bad things?
Woke = Awake. It literally means open-minded - aware - empathetic - understanding the feelilngs of other people. A "woke:" person is somebody who has been AWAKENED to other ways of thinking and feeling. And a "woke" person does not need to agree, but does understand that other ways of thinking/feeling have a right to exist.
What the anti-woke morons do not understand - like the anti-antifa morons - is that the opposite of "woke" is asleep - closed-minded - ignorant - unwilling to learn.
As it happens, closed-minded - ignorant - unwilling to learn is exactly how Dump and MAGA leaders like their followers to be, and so they launched the "anti-woke" movement which is the same as an anti-education movement. This is from the people who are cutting funding to schools and trying to close the Dept. of Education, so no surprise there.
But, Wis, they couldn't stop you from figuring out what "woke" really means so that it doesn't scare you like they want it to. The MAGAs should try to use their brains, as you do.
I agree that it's crazy that it's only been 10 months and so much damage has already been done. I agree that if feels llike years.
Again, well said all around, and being "woke", to me, has come to mean something positive, (as you say). When I hear it used derisively (which is mainly how I hear it, since it's a maga-invented insult), I immediately take notice and suspect the speaker to be maga or ignorant, because it is maybe the weirdest, most counterintuitive "insult" I can imagine. I feel like if you aren't "woke", you're dogmatic, probably racist, and narrow-minded, and you lack empathy, compassion, curiosity and openness. Which pretty much describes most maga people I've talked to. It's odd to me that they indirectly describe themselves that way, being "anti-woke".
Dump doesn't even know what "Antifa" means - he just uses it as if it's an actual thing and not an idea. But, Dump doesn't know what an "idea" is either.
Anti-Fascism. So, if someone is anti-Antifa, then that person is pro-Fascism. But, they make no secret of their desire for Fascism.
Cuz 2 negatives = a positive. Simple math to the rescue! Anti-anti = pro.
tRUMP is still working on getting an idea of a concept straight, let alone having a bona fide logical concept that works. No, no, let me walk that back. He's got his idea ducks in a row and they're quacking up a storm. I do like to think of him as a total idiot, but he's not, is he? All of this quackery and ratfuckery is brainwashing those who actually are idiots. tRUMP knows exactly what antifa means, and naturally he's opposed, cuz anifa means anti-fascism means anti-tRUMP and anti- his blatant bid to be king. No, tRUMP does not make any of that a secret. He hopes he can pull it off while folks are reeling with fear and horror as he blathers on and on, pretending to be a fruitloop but actually being a canny fox. All this while losing what's left of his teeny brain that soon will match his teeny pubes. Dementia is a bitch, and right now that bitch is on our team.
I mostly agree, Floofie Snapz Back. Certainly, Dementia is a nasty bitch and she's taken full hold of Dump. But, how far bananas does he need to go before the Repugs accept that he's unfit? He was already unfit in 2020, but here he is, back again. If he dropped dead, would they prop him up and do a "Weekend At Donnies" until the end of his term? I wouldn't put it past them.
And I agree that he's crazy like a fox - but he's also crazy and beyond ignorant. His own cabinet members have prounced him stupid and "a fucking moron." Dump truly knows and understands very little.
But, what Dump does understand, and what he's a Master at manipulating, is human imperfection - and everyone has some imperfection. He knows exactly what buttons to press to wind people up. He knows exactly what promises to make to gain followers. He knows what threats to make to force loyalty. And you notice that he surrounds himself with the scrapings from the bottom of the barrel - the people that nobody would take seriously, so he gives them power and they beome totally loyal because they know that without him, they go back to being the punchline of jokes.
Look at Mike Pence. He was a mostly ignored member of the House for years while he tried to push his over-the-top super Christian insanity. Then Dump made him VP - and he shit all over his Christian values to do Dump's bidding up until Dump demanded that he break the Law and the oath that he'd made on the Bible in front of God. Up to that moment, he dutifully kept his moutth shut and voted the way Dump told him to vote - because without Dump, he'd have been back to being ignored by his peers.
What intelligent person would give a job - any job - to the likes of Noem, Patel, Bondi, Hegseth? All quite mad. Dump pulled each out of the mud and made them Important. And now they'll do ANYTHING to keep him happy so they don't get tossed on the trash heap along with Pence.
I know that Dump is mentally ill. And I know that he is acutely ignorant. But, he's a Master Con Artist, and he is a Master at manipulation and chaos. Those are two highly honed skills that he possesses.
Damn, Marmo! You've said a mouthful there, and said it cogently and brilliantly. And you're exactly right on all points made, methinks. Thank you!
You've made excellent cases in point. tRUMP is acutely ignorant, but he does have a grifter's uncannily acute street smarts, and he knows how to wield them on the unsuspecting under-educated, disaffected, and just plain stupid idiots, thereby brainwashing, duping and weaponizing them and aiming them at the rest of us, to our detriment and horror. And yes, there are also all those greedy mofos that tRUMP does NOT need to manipulate to do his bidding cuz they're already eager and primed to do so to get their avaricious mitts on a cut of the spoils.
My hope is that tRUMP's mental deterioration will not advance YET to the point where it's reasonable that he be Amendment 25-ed. If that happens, we're stuck with Maybelline Vance, the angry couch-schtupper, who's even more dangerous than tRUMP because he has far better control of his mental capacities and is far less deranged than tRUMP. Consequently, he's potentially a far greater evil. Worse and worse, I think the Bedbug is more aligned and allied with Project 25 and its authors, more willing to and happy to work with them. Whereas tRUMP, I think, always has been more or less beyond their control cuz he's in it for himself, not to serve another master. And as he slides further and further into loony incapacity, he's pretty much off on his own rampage at this point, as well as off his rocker.
So yeah, my great hope is that those conducting the forensic audits and investigations into the 2024 election calamity will have the time they need to complete their work and uncover enough probative evidence that the election was not free nor fair, that votes were indeed sabotaged, that the result was indeed manipulated, ergo that election was neither sound nor legitimate. I want to see tRUMP and his whole bag of snakes shit-canned, put inelegantly, and tossed out and -- for some anyway -- into prison. I do not want to see tRUMP removed from office and our country stuck with the Bedbug.
Well, here on the backlines of Portland Oregon, I’m doing my best to be a domestic terrorist. Still looking for the downtown Antifa office though….i could use my paycheck….
I’m watching Rachel Maddow, and she was showing some of the other costumes. I loved the land shark because it reminded me of the very old SNL skits, which I believe started with the original cast in 1975. I was a freshman in college at the time.
Cowering in my apartment on the crime-ridden Upper West Side of Manhattan. Terrible violence today, including getting shoved by an 85 year-old lady in Zabar's. And Fairway? Fuggedabbodit! Like a contact sport! Definitely need some 300-lb National Guardsmen.
Those little old ladies in Fairway are a menace, wielding their shopping carts and canes to clear a path to the cheese section. You’ve got the right idea, Bruce: bring on the Guard, and all will be right with the world!
I don't live in a hellhole of a Democrat city, but I live near one and frequent it, and it's doing just fine. If "Send in the Clowns" Trump decides to send the Guard, I suspect things will not be so fine any longer.
I agree with @Kathy Minicozzi -- here in NYC we're thrilled that the Felon-in-Chief is occupied elsewhere. For all the crowds, noise, dirty streets, we accept differences, value the immigrants who do work that apparently fewer citizens want to do, and we remember that the vast majority of us are descended from immigrants. I was born and raised here, and have lived here my whole life. I can't imagine a better place to grow old -- especially since after he eventually leaves the White House, the F-i-C will be ensconced in Florida (I hope) forever. New York - the place so great they named it twice!
As my mother—a native New Yorker—used to say, New York is the best place to grow old. She loved our city so much, she lived to 103. (BTW, I’m a third generation native and proud of it.)
We're in San Diego, the scene of one of the earliest ICE raids on a neighborhood pasta favorite. Apparently, ICE was acting on a five-year-old tip and hauled away a few restaurant workers. The irate crowd that gathered was met with flash bangs. Next stop, the Los Angeles takeover by ICE.
I'm also looking to get another dog, and was thinking Auntie Faugh. She can join me in snorting in disgust when we see obnoxious sorts drive by with their stupid MAGA flags. Yes, it'll be Auntie Faugh and Floofie on a mission!
Excellent idea! In addition to snorting in disgust, I wonder if Auntie Faugh's toilet habits could somehow be employed as part of your mission, as well?
I am indeed considering this but can't quite figure out how to pull it off without engendering the blown-brain ire of Noem wannabes... Don't wanna put furbaby Auntie Faugh in jeopardy, but would love to make nice visually graphic statements. Hmmm... a work in progress...
You need your Auntie Faugh! But, don't put her in danger - crazy dog murderers are out there (and I hear that MAGAs eat your cats and dogs!). So, do what you can, the two of you, and keep each other safe.
I bet Auntie Faugh arrives with eye-rolling already perfected. Those dogs ain't stupid.
Or whoopee cushions? I'm taking suggestions. Little does Auntie Faugh know what she's in for as my furbaby! My neck of the woods is quite conservative and many honkin' flag-fluttering trucks drive by annoying the poop right outa this ol' bird. I'm looking forward to training Auntie Faugh in the art of derisive snorting, irritated huffing and maybe even honking back. Lived with a Basenji for awhile and that barkless dog was the noisiest damn pooch ever--coughed, sneezed, huffed, snorted--an amazingly varied vocabulary! We shall see who Auntie Faugh is (checking out rescue dogs) and what she can do...
Agreed -- nobody wants to encounter an enraged Floofie! I may be old, but I'm one tuff duffer -- you mess with my furbabies, you mess with me, and it won't be pretty!
Oh yeah, I LOVE THAT. I haven't noticed if the general MAGA population believe this administration's bullshit about Antifa... it wouldn't surprise me, though, since many are very uneducated and don't investigate nor think for themselves. I am praying that they will soon realize that being an anti fascist is what democracy is all about. Is what two world wars were fought about... i'll try to keep praying for them instead of disparaging them. That's not really helpful... it's just so hard for me to fathom...
Honestly don't think there is a general MAGA population any longer. I think what once was is splintering and fragmenting. Diehard MAGAts that are as nutty as their cult god will likely continue to believe whatever that orange lunatic spews when he's on yet another foaming raving rant. I think most others that were MAGAts have wised up and get it and no longer worship at that font of gibberish. But they're too craven to stick up for our country, and they turn their faces and cower lest they too are targeted for extermination. Because yeah, you are exactly right: anti-fascism is precisely what this country, its Declaration of Independence and its Constitution were founded on. Saying NO to tyranny and throwing out a would-be tyrant (like the Nazi scum occupying the White House) who is committing crimes and treason against our country is OUR RIGHT and OUR DUTY per the Declaration of Independence. Fighting for our country, fighting to TAKE BACK OUR COUNTRY, is not for cowards.
And I agree that a lot of MAGAs who joined because they believed the Dump lies are now FINALLY realizing their mistake, but they're too scared to say so out loud.
Having said that, the number of people who showed up for the Charlie Kirk memorial surprised me, and not in a good way.
Inside information with detailed facts provided showed that hundreds ( not thousands) of ICE agents in Chicago shit their pants collectively when a dozen protesters danced a tango wirh a mariachi band strumming and singing in Spanish.
Yes. that Kennedy fellow cornered the brain worm market. The Borowitz brain , in my analysis, contains only high intellect, and a totally unpredictable way of seeing the world, plus humor that you never see coming, plus flashes of lightning and a few seismic shifts.
When I read the headline, my first thought was “was there a marathon last weekend?” and behold and low, there was! I still laughed right out loud! Back in my younger days, I used to participate in walking marathons in the city. I live in Chicago’s western burbs and worked in the city for many years. Thanks, Andy!
I live near Portland - where thousands were running through the streets on October 5th - yes, the Portland Marathon ran right past the ICE facility. That same weekend there was a lot of kicking and screaming at the Portland Thorns NWSL soccer game. And at a church potluck, there was a tense moment when two people reached for the last deviled egg at the same time.
It's nice to see the Christian contingent here -- the one that does NOT believe in hate, racism, bullying, white supremacy, misogyny, and simplistic heresies! ;-)
Love this! I’m also in Mpls and can tell you if ICE comes here, all we have to do is close down a few more roads and bridges, call it street construction and it will stop them right in their tracks!
I'm near Detroit and as a runner I especially loved this one! Thanks for making me laugh Andy! I am running in the Detroit Free Press international marathon on Sunday, we'll be crossing the bridge to into Canada where I'll have a few miles of peace until we have to cross back through the tunnel.
What’s it like in your hellhole of a Democrat city?
Andy, we're in Minneapolis.
This past weekend the Minnesota Public Radio fund drive signed up over 5,000 BRAND NEW members in three days in addition to thousands of renewed members.
Humankind = Be Both is the motto.
We're bracing to be targeted soon by a Trump administration that views our upper Midwestern compassion and hospitality as communism.
Go figure. Send us those National Guard troops and we'll buy 'em all beers and make buddies, don't-cha-know?
Nah, they'll be met by your former Governor, Jesse Ventura, who will tell 'em, "Trump's a moron, and you should be kicking back watching the game instead of playing occupying army this weekend...."
Didn't Jesse Ventura go on to the great wrestling ring in the sky?
Nope, that was Hulk Hogan—and good riddance to that Peter Thiel Puppet!
Ventura's 74 years old, does the talking head bit on ORA TV (mostly in favor of third-party candidates), and endorsed Kamala Harris and fellow Minnesotan Tim Walz in 2024:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Ventura
Ah, got it. Sorry and thanks for the correction!
Give 'em a kiss for me. Those poor soldiers are torn away from their families only to rake leaves and pick up trash! I saw a guardsman holding up a cardboard sign that said "We're only following orders". He didn't look at all happy to be doing this!
John signed up to do his part defending you and me,
He wants to fight and bleed and kill and die for liberty.
With the hell of war he's come to grips
Policing up the filter tips,
It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!
-- Tom Lehrer
I love Tom Lehrer! His songs are so timely, so many decades later...as were his pithy comments not set to music. "Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kisssinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize." Lettuce pray that history does not repeat itself next year!
Don't forget the pasties!
You mean the twirly kind?
Don’t you mean “Be Best?”
Haha yes!!
And all the lutefisk they can... never mind.
Love Minnesota!
I live in solid blue Maryland, and in my neighborhood, we all get along and help each other. I guess our inherent criminal natures are hidden away.
I love blue Maryland-our son & his family live in Baltimore in the lovely community of Homeland. Wonderful neighborhood & great neighbors; it’s certainly not the shithole as Trump described Baltimore.
Me too. A stone's throw from DC. You'd never guess how many radical left lunatics' corpses I have to step over or sidestep on my short walk home from the metro. Oh the carnage. Nobody's ever seen anything like it, that I can tell you.
They're down on the Eastern Shore voting for Andy Harris.
Many of us on the Eastern Shore want to get rid of Andy Harris!! #NoKings
In our small town of Canton, CT, we are so Hellacious that the Trump Adm. is investigating our schools for belonging to the Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference that mandates (according to state law) that students play on the sports team of the gender they identity with…Of course Canton currently has no transgender sports team players and every other town in CT belongs to the CIAC but sure, why not pick on our town of 12,000 people? After all we do have anti Trump protests on our tiny town green every Saturday morning so it is understandable…NOT…Btw the Trump minions are threatening to hold back $700,000. if Canton refuses to break state law….🙄
I wonder where I can find a blow up frog costume for No Kings’ Day…
It will no doubt soon be a hellscape in the ultra-blue state of CT. My husband and I live in the bustling metropolis of Ellington (pop. of approximately 16,000), which, you may be aware, is a volcano just waiting to erupt!!😉🙄
ICE will have to watch out for all that lava!
Well done, John Townsend - you gave me an evening LOL.
Oh yes, I am terrified to drive through the farm fields in Ellington…You can’t trust steaming cow manure and pumpkins…They may explode like that giant pumpkin did in Tolland! 🎃
Steaming cow manure? I know the farms use the manure, but we don’t smell it from our home. I understand your terror in any case.
Steaming or not, it still seems like another Antifa plot against humanity…So I don’t take any chances with driving through your town, with all your outrageous liberal terrorists…🎃
I’m strongly considering a cow costume for local protests. Just giving you a heads up.
That’s $700,000 for the schools of course….
Of course it is, Marianne Burbank. Dump prefers when people are not educated - it's easier to frighten and to fool uneducated people. And uneducated people make Dump feel less ignorant.
It does not make him less ignorant, it just makes him feel less ignorant.
The Felon can’t spell SCHOOL.
He can't spell "spell."
Stay Strong!!!!
No big cities or small towns are safe from doofus and his goon squads . 😞
Why not get a bunch of large green balloons (various shapes), paint them, and then inflate them. Tie them together in bunches and take to the streets. You could glue some orange yarn to the tops of some of them. And maybe string a tiny button to the bottom edge of others?
You might check out online costumes in the Portland, Oregon area. I hear they have some bodacious party stores there.
Frog costume? I think of those weirdo men that are in The Boogalo Boys with their Hawaiian shirts & that Pepe frog mascot.
Life is just fine here in New York City. Trump is away most of the time, and we can breathe a little. LOL!
Now if we could just get him off television and social media…
From your lips to God's ears!
God plugs his ears and goes, LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA... when he hears that hateful voice ranting insanely loonily on & on & on...
God knows all things, so he knows what an idiot Trump is. God didn't vote him into power, though. People did that.
Beg to differ. Mainly Musk hacked him the win -- combined with deleting registered voters from voter rolls, bomb threats, big ol' hairy bad mofo MAGAts making threats, discarding paper ballots into dumpsters and other forms of voter & vote suppression & sabotaging and election manipulation. There is an increasingly humungous mountain of evidence that points to this: tRUMP cheated his way into office, Musk & his malware were key in this effort, tRUMP defrauded the American people, this was NOT a legitimate election result, and the forensic audits and investigations into these illegal activities and election tampering must continue to the bitter end... bitter for the Malignant Mango Commander in Cheat, that is, cuz THAT SHITHEAD DID NOT WIN!!! So, no, people did NOT vote him into office.
Because we have agency.
Well, my Lord, a few well-placed thunderbolts would not go amiss....
So many times, John Townsend, I've wondered where are those thunderbolts! Especially when he enters a church. I thought that his kind could not cross the threshold of a church. He gets away with so much.
Nope, they certainly would not! Have at it, God! Let's see some sparks fly!
Yes I was out this evening and was sitting in a place with the television, and I could not avert my eyes!
Pam, if you need one, I can refer you to an excellent ophthalmologist.
Or race horse blinkers + some tasty edibles?
"Blinkers" is merely a typo, yes?
Like a three-car pile up on the freeway!
Oh, yes please! Let us form prayer circles!
She will answer if we sincerely ask!
...and the planet.
Exactly & especially so.
Thanks for the warning!!! 🐄 If you find one, let me know! I could add to the terrorist vibe here in Canton with one…Although a unicorn or frog would do too!
Will do! Do you hear, though, that a brass band in Portland was sprayed with tear gas? All kidding aside, a freaking brass band!!
I had not heard that one…But sadly I am not surprised…We may not give in to fear…I have heard a couple of ideas if being harassed…Just sit down so we can’t be accused of assault…or being aggressive…Also to start singing….I am thinking something like Thus Land is Our Land…
One group already did that. And an ICE agent just made a snarky remark in response about "aging hippies".
OMFG!!! Spraying a brass band with tear gas?? That's some seriously sick power-tripping Nazi assholian shit right there!! Somebody's gotta stop those vicious terrorists and their violent thuggery and outrageously bad acts. God, you listening? I'm not for smiting to death, but howz about they all get struck down with incapacitating long Covid? Yeah, yeah, every single ICE agent or ICE agent wannabe should be laid up sick as a proverbial dog for months and months and months until all this ratfuckery grinds to a bleeding halt. Hey, God, I think this'll work! What say you?
It certainly doesn’t seem to get any better, does it? It is simply overwhelming.
I saw that brass band, but I didn't know they got hit with tear gas. I didn't realize ICE was so antagonistic toward music.
Especially the frog!
(A) Reprieve from Trumpfull anxiety?
(B) Happily no need for nose plugs?
(C) Both of the above?
Both. His presence and his smell have not been around here much lately.
Yippee! Could almost break into song whilst capering for joy!
I'm sure, Kathy Minicozzi, that the air quality improves a great deal when he's out of town. And when both Dump and Malaria are out of town, It must be sweet, indeed.
He’s away most of the time because he knows how we feel about him.
Antifa! Isn't their 'manifesto' also known as The US Constitution and The Bill of Rights?
Michael: That's what I've been saying! I posted this yesterday somewhere, but I'll repeat it because it still confuses me: When I was young and first heard the word, "antifa", I asked what it meant. When I was told, I remember thinking, 'wait... aren't ALL Americans antifa? Didn't we fight world wars because we were anti-fascist? Didn't people lose their lives in order to put *down* fascism?' I was really confused, and again, I still am. Do they go around in blue caps, while maga dons red? Is there really an organized antifa?
You are not confused, Wis. "Antifa" is a term that refers to anti-Fascism. And, yes, many thousands of people in several countries, including America, died in multiple wars to stop Fascism from spreading.
Dump has mixed up anti-Fascism with anti-MAGA - because he is MAGA and he is a Fascist. So anything that does not support him/MAGA is bad and scary. So, that means that antifa is bad and scary. Dump talks about "Antifa" as if it's a club or a gang that gathers to do bad things. Really, it is an idea - an abhorrence of Fascism, which any decent person should feel.
So, Dump has no idea what antifa means, but that's not stopped him from feeding his "Antifa" fears to his MAGA fans - and they have no idea what it means, but they know that it's bad and dangerous.
Last year (was it only last year - really???) I heard a couple inteviewed and they both said that they hate "Woke" and they're going to stand together and fight it. When they were asked what "woke" means, the wife said: "I don't know what woke means, but I know that I don't like it" - and her husband nodded his head and said: "That's right." For real! They proudly said these things out loud and on camera. And there you have the MAGAs in a nutshell!
Marmo: well said all around. (First, it's crazy that it's only been 10 months of this - that is not a long time though it has felt like over four years already, and trump has turned this country inside out and ruined it in that short time.) Second, it drives me UP A WALL when I hear, "I don't know what *X* means, but I don't like it." It's almost as bad as choosing a president because the person is someone you could see having a beer with. EDUCATE YOURSELVES, AMERICA! Do you get how moronic these statements are, people?
I've never really understood what "woke" meant, either: I mean, when I first heard it, I thought it was a good thing. After all, on the face of it, it sounds positive, doesn't it? The alternative is "asleep", isn't it? From the contexts in which I keep hearing the word "woke", it's apparently terribly negative. But the more and more I understand what it means, just like with "antifa": I gotta say, I must be a "woke antifa" person, because I have an open mind and have values based on love and acceptance and integrity, and then I'm also against fascism. How are these bad things?
YOU GOT IT, Wis.
Woke = Awake. It literally means open-minded - aware - empathetic - understanding the feelilngs of other people. A "woke:" person is somebody who has been AWAKENED to other ways of thinking and feeling. And a "woke" person does not need to agree, but does understand that other ways of thinking/feeling have a right to exist.
What the anti-woke morons do not understand - like the anti-antifa morons - is that the opposite of "woke" is asleep - closed-minded - ignorant - unwilling to learn.
As it happens, closed-minded - ignorant - unwilling to learn is exactly how Dump and MAGA leaders like their followers to be, and so they launched the "anti-woke" movement which is the same as an anti-education movement. This is from the people who are cutting funding to schools and trying to close the Dept. of Education, so no surprise there.
But, Wis, they couldn't stop you from figuring out what "woke" really means so that it doesn't scare you like they want it to. The MAGAs should try to use their brains, as you do.
I agree that it's crazy that it's only been 10 months and so much damage has already been done. I agree that if feels llike years.
Again, well said all around, and being "woke", to me, has come to mean something positive, (as you say). When I hear it used derisively (which is mainly how I hear it, since it's a maga-invented insult), I immediately take notice and suspect the speaker to be maga or ignorant, because it is maybe the weirdest, most counterintuitive "insult" I can imagine. I feel like if you aren't "woke", you're dogmatic, probably racist, and narrow-minded, and you lack empathy, compassion, curiosity and openness. Which pretty much describes most maga people I've talked to. It's odd to me that they indirectly describe themselves that way, being "anti-woke".
Yup.
Dump doesn't even know what "Antifa" means - he just uses it as if it's an actual thing and not an idea. But, Dump doesn't know what an "idea" is either.
Anti-Fascism. So, if someone is anti-Antifa, then that person is pro-Fascism. But, they make no secret of their desire for Fascism.
Cuz 2 negatives = a positive. Simple math to the rescue! Anti-anti = pro.
tRUMP is still working on getting an idea of a concept straight, let alone having a bona fide logical concept that works. No, no, let me walk that back. He's got his idea ducks in a row and they're quacking up a storm. I do like to think of him as a total idiot, but he's not, is he? All of this quackery and ratfuckery is brainwashing those who actually are idiots. tRUMP knows exactly what antifa means, and naturally he's opposed, cuz anifa means anti-fascism means anti-tRUMP and anti- his blatant bid to be king. No, tRUMP does not make any of that a secret. He hopes he can pull it off while folks are reeling with fear and horror as he blathers on and on, pretending to be a fruitloop but actually being a canny fox. All this while losing what's left of his teeny brain that soon will match his teeny pubes. Dementia is a bitch, and right now that bitch is on our team.
I mostly agree, Floofie Snapz Back. Certainly, Dementia is a nasty bitch and she's taken full hold of Dump. But, how far bananas does he need to go before the Repugs accept that he's unfit? He was already unfit in 2020, but here he is, back again. If he dropped dead, would they prop him up and do a "Weekend At Donnies" until the end of his term? I wouldn't put it past them.
And I agree that he's crazy like a fox - but he's also crazy and beyond ignorant. His own cabinet members have prounced him stupid and "a fucking moron." Dump truly knows and understands very little.
But, what Dump does understand, and what he's a Master at manipulating, is human imperfection - and everyone has some imperfection. He knows exactly what buttons to press to wind people up. He knows exactly what promises to make to gain followers. He knows what threats to make to force loyalty. And you notice that he surrounds himself with the scrapings from the bottom of the barrel - the people that nobody would take seriously, so he gives them power and they beome totally loyal because they know that without him, they go back to being the punchline of jokes.
Look at Mike Pence. He was a mostly ignored member of the House for years while he tried to push his over-the-top super Christian insanity. Then Dump made him VP - and he shit all over his Christian values to do Dump's bidding up until Dump demanded that he break the Law and the oath that he'd made on the Bible in front of God. Up to that moment, he dutifully kept his moutth shut and voted the way Dump told him to vote - because without Dump, he'd have been back to being ignored by his peers.
What intelligent person would give a job - any job - to the likes of Noem, Patel, Bondi, Hegseth? All quite mad. Dump pulled each out of the mud and made them Important. And now they'll do ANYTHING to keep him happy so they don't get tossed on the trash heap along with Pence.
I know that Dump is mentally ill. And I know that he is acutely ignorant. But, he's a Master Con Artist, and he is a Master at manipulation and chaos. Those are two highly honed skills that he possesses.
Damn, Marmo! You've said a mouthful there, and said it cogently and brilliantly. And you're exactly right on all points made, methinks. Thank you!
You've made excellent cases in point. tRUMP is acutely ignorant, but he does have a grifter's uncannily acute street smarts, and he knows how to wield them on the unsuspecting under-educated, disaffected, and just plain stupid idiots, thereby brainwashing, duping and weaponizing them and aiming them at the rest of us, to our detriment and horror. And yes, there are also all those greedy mofos that tRUMP does NOT need to manipulate to do his bidding cuz they're already eager and primed to do so to get their avaricious mitts on a cut of the spoils.
My hope is that tRUMP's mental deterioration will not advance YET to the point where it's reasonable that he be Amendment 25-ed. If that happens, we're stuck with Maybelline Vance, the angry couch-schtupper, who's even more dangerous than tRUMP because he has far better control of his mental capacities and is far less deranged than tRUMP. Consequently, he's potentially a far greater evil. Worse and worse, I think the Bedbug is more aligned and allied with Project 25 and its authors, more willing to and happy to work with them. Whereas tRUMP, I think, always has been more or less beyond their control cuz he's in it for himself, not to serve another master. And as he slides further and further into loony incapacity, he's pretty much off on his own rampage at this point, as well as off his rocker.
So yeah, my great hope is that those conducting the forensic audits and investigations into the 2024 election calamity will have the time they need to complete their work and uncover enough probative evidence that the election was not free nor fair, that votes were indeed sabotaged, that the result was indeed manipulated, ergo that election was neither sound nor legitimate. I want to see tRUMP and his whole bag of snakes shit-canned, put inelegantly, and tossed out and -- for some anyway -- into prison. I do not want to see tRUMP removed from office and our country stuck with the Bedbug.
Well, here on the backlines of Portland Oregon, I’m doing my best to be a domestic terrorist. Still looking for the downtown Antifa office though….i could use my paycheck….
What inflatable character are you? I’m partial to the original frog. But I do love the unicorns.
I’m watching Rachel Maddow, and she was showing some of the other costumes. I loved the land shark because it reminded me of the very old SNL skits, which I believe started with the original cast in 1975. I was a freshman in college at the time.
The costumes just make the whole Portland is a war zone claim look ridiculous. I noticed some folks in Chicago are donning costumes also.
I burst into laughter when you reminded me of the land shark!!
Great, wasn’t it?
I love the frogs, but I want to be a unicorn!!
HAH! Let me know if you find it -- I want mine too. Maybe Soros knows?
Hilarious comment! :-)
Cowering in my apartment on the crime-ridden Upper West Side of Manhattan. Terrible violence today, including getting shoved by an 85 year-old lady in Zabar's. And Fairway? Fuggedabbodit! Like a contact sport! Definitely need some 300-lb National Guardsmen.
Those little old ladies in Fairway are a menace, wielding their shopping carts and canes to clear a path to the cheese section. You’ve got the right idea, Bruce: bring on the Guard, and all will be right with the world!
Andy, we're in Davis, CA, the People's Republic of Davis. It's been a quiet week on the prairie.
I don't live in a hellhole of a Democrat city, but I live near one and frequent it, and it's doing just fine. If "Send in the Clowns" Trump decides to send the Guard, I suspect things will not be so fine any longer.
Steve Sondheim would NOT approve of that nickname
In spite of Joe Rogan and a few of his brethren moving to Austin, we remain defiant to the fascist dictators Trump and Abbott.
How did anyone vote Abbott into office? This is a stretch but he may be more dangerous than dump
On November 8th in Philadelphia, 30,000 people will be running in the annual Rocky Run (also known as the Italian Stallion Challenge)!
Maybe Trump will send Pam Bondi (a member of the Italian Club of Tampa) to the city of brotherly love to to keep all those Italian stallions peaceful.
One at a time?
Nope, a group hug.
Again, the visuals!
I thought you meant she should run in the marathon. And in fact let’s see her do that if she’s such a tough gal. I’ve done it!
Earlier this month over 30,000 folks were running from Minneapolis to St Paul. Thousands of folks cheered them on.
I agree with @Kathy Minicozzi -- here in NYC we're thrilled that the Felon-in-Chief is occupied elsewhere. For all the crowds, noise, dirty streets, we accept differences, value the immigrants who do work that apparently fewer citizens want to do, and we remember that the vast majority of us are descended from immigrants. I was born and raised here, and have lived here my whole life. I can't imagine a better place to grow old -- especially since after he eventually leaves the White House, the F-i-C will be ensconced in Florida (I hope) forever. New York - the place so great they named it twice!
You made me smile, Ima Gadd. When I was a teenager, I had that tee shirt: "New York, New York, So Nice, They Named It Twice!"
As my mother—a native New Yorker—used to say, New York is the best place to grow old. She loved our city so much, she lived to 103. (BTW, I’m a third generation native and proud of it.)
We're in San Diego, the scene of one of the earliest ICE raids on a neighborhood pasta favorite. Apparently, ICE was acting on a five-year-old tip and hauled away a few restaurant workers. The irate crowd that gathered was met with flash bangs. Next stop, the Los Angeles takeover by ICE.
Marathoners
It’s the running of the Chicago Bulls
🤣🤣🤣
Well done!!
--while the Trump bulls**t just runs and runs downward!
If I were to ever have a dog again, I would name it "Antifa."
I'm also looking to get another dog, and was thinking Auntie Faugh. She can join me in snorting in disgust when we see obnoxious sorts drive by with their stupid MAGA flags. Yes, it'll be Auntie Faugh and Floofie on a mission!
Excellent idea! In addition to snorting in disgust, I wonder if Auntie Faugh's toilet habits could somehow be employed as part of your mission, as well?
I am indeed considering this but can't quite figure out how to pull it off without engendering the blown-brain ire of Noem wannabes... Don't wanna put furbaby Auntie Faugh in jeopardy, but would love to make nice visually graphic statements. Hmmm... a work in progress...
You need your Auntie Faugh! But, don't put her in danger - crazy dog murderers are out there (and I hear that MAGAs eat your cats and dogs!). So, do what you can, the two of you, and keep each other safe.
I bet Auntie Faugh arrives with eye-rolling already perfected. Those dogs ain't stupid.
I bet she does indeed! And we'll be careful, don't you worry! Already have my eye on a sweetie-pie -- hope she can work out!
[LOL re MAGAs eating our cats and dogs!]
Good luck with all of it.
I wonder if the current proliferation of AI programs, in conjunction with 3D printing, could be employed somehow?
Or whoopee cushions? I'm taking suggestions. Little does Auntie Faugh know what she's in for as my furbaby! My neck of the woods is quite conservative and many honkin' flag-fluttering trucks drive by annoying the poop right outa this ol' bird. I'm looking forward to training Auntie Faugh in the art of derisive snorting, irritated huffing and maybe even honking back. Lived with a Basenji for awhile and that barkless dog was the noisiest damn pooch ever--coughed, sneezed, huffed, snorted--an amazingly varied vocabulary! We shall see who Auntie Faugh is (checking out rescue dogs) and what she can do...
I recommend sheets of nails tossed under select truck tires... Or pouring sugar in their gas tanks...
I hope Kristi Noem doesn’t track your dog down!
Anyone that hurts my dog is going to hurt worse!
Agreed -- nobody wants to encounter an enraged Floofie! I may be old, but I'm one tuff duffer -- you mess with my furbabies, you mess with me, and it won't be pretty!
Damn straight, Floofie Snapz Back!
I think that anything that anybody does to animals should be done to them!
Yeah, damn it, you said it, Marmo!!!
Oh yeah, I LOVE THAT. I haven't noticed if the general MAGA population believe this administration's bullshit about Antifa... it wouldn't surprise me, though, since many are very uneducated and don't investigate nor think for themselves. I am praying that they will soon realize that being an anti fascist is what democracy is all about. Is what two world wars were fought about... i'll try to keep praying for them instead of disparaging them. That's not really helpful... it's just so hard for me to fathom...
Honestly don't think there is a general MAGA population any longer. I think what once was is splintering and fragmenting. Diehard MAGAts that are as nutty as their cult god will likely continue to believe whatever that orange lunatic spews when he's on yet another foaming raving rant. I think most others that were MAGAts have wised up and get it and no longer worship at that font of gibberish. But they're too craven to stick up for our country, and they turn their faces and cower lest they too are targeted for extermination. Because yeah, you are exactly right: anti-fascism is precisely what this country, its Declaration of Independence and its Constitution were founded on. Saying NO to tyranny and throwing out a would-be tyrant (like the Nazi scum occupying the White House) who is committing crimes and treason against our country is OUR RIGHT and OUR DUTY per the Declaration of Independence. Fighting for our country, fighting to TAKE BACK OUR COUNTRY, is not for cowards.
BRAVA! Well said, Floofie Snapz Back!
And I agree that a lot of MAGAs who joined because they believed the Dump lies are now FINALLY realizing their mistake, but they're too scared to say so out loud.
Having said that, the number of people who showed up for the Charlie Kirk memorial surprised me, and not in a good way.
I know, I know -- and those banners with Kirk embraced by Jesus? BARF.
Portland had a marathon too, on October 5th at the same time the felon was calling us a war-torn city.
trumpf is known to be a creature with Zero sense of irony.
Zero sense of anything decent!
You got that right.
Inside information with detailed facts provided showed that hundreds ( not thousands) of ICE agents in Chicago shit their pants collectively when a dozen protesters danced a tango wirh a mariachi band strumming and singing in Spanish.
And Bad Bunny made a special appearance.
It's something I'd love yovsee.
“Breaking: Trump spots the Chicago Marathon and mistakes cardio for carnage.
‘Thousands running for their lives,’ he says.
Sir, they paid to do that. It’s called exercise, not exodus.
Next week he’ll call the Tour de France a migrant caravan.”
🤣
Yeah, but most of the Tour guys aren’t you know, Real Americans.
How would I get through this insanity if not for your humor? You are a National Treasure. ❤️
Yes! Don’t know where I would be without Andy and the comments! Priceless ❤️
Love this story! (The inside of Andy Borowitz's brain must be configured in a way that is not to be found anywhere else in the world. :-)!!
…and devoid of worms.
Yes. that Kennedy fellow cornered the brain worm market. The Borowitz brain , in my analysis, contains only high intellect, and a totally unpredictable way of seeing the world, plus humor that you never see coming, plus flashes of lightning and a few seismic shifts.
When I read the headline, my first thought was “was there a marathon last weekend?” and behold and low, there was! I still laughed right out loud! Back in my younger days, I used to participate in walking marathons in the city. I live in Chicago’s western burbs and worked in the city for many years. Thanks, Andy!
OMG. This is soooo funny. You outdid yourself this time.
I live near Portland - where thousands were running through the streets on October 5th - yes, the Portland Marathon ran right past the ICE facility. That same weekend there was a lot of kicking and screaming at the Portland Thorns NWSL soccer game. And at a church potluck, there was a tense moment when two people reached for the last deviled egg at the same time.
Ohmygawd! The horror! Where is the humanity? Dole out the deviled eggs first, folks! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
--ands the potato salad second! Consume those carbs for what is coming next!
It's nice to see the Christian contingent here -- the one that does NOT believe in hate, racism, bullying, white supremacy, misogyny, and simplistic heresies! ;-)
In the DMV on Sunday, people ran out of Arlington, Virginia, INTO war-ravaged Washington, DC, in the annual Army 10-miler. Incredibly brave people.
https://www.nbcwashington.com/video/news/local/runners-embark-on-course-around-dc-for-army-ten-miler/3739903/
Love this! I’m also in Mpls and can tell you if ICE comes here, all we have to do is close down a few more roads and bridges, call it street construction and it will stop them right in their tracks!
Yes, we'll direct ICE to head for Hwy. 94 in Mpls/ St.Paul. They'll never be able to get off, & will give up.
Perfect, love it!
When you waddle like the Orange-utan, anyone going faster than a snail or a three-toed sloth makes him think he's seen the Flash.
There was a rumor that Steven Miller was seen roaming around Chicago in a pair of sneakers & shorts. Thousands of women took off running.
To quote Phoebe Buffay: My eyes! My eyes! I can’t unsee that!
Sorry to cause discomfort. Perhaps it would help to picture Steven in his normal Voldemort attire.
At record speed, I’m sure..Help! It’s …it’s a bald nazi!🥳😏
Most likely!
I'm near Detroit and as a runner I especially loved this one! Thanks for making me laugh Andy! I am running in the Detroit Free Press international marathon on Sunday, we'll be crossing the bridge to into Canada where I'll have a few miles of peace until we have to cross back through the tunnel.
Wow! Let us know how the Border treats you, please.
Have fun, Sharon. I hope the Windsor folk are their typical sunny selves.