The new department was necessitated in part by the event I reported earlier this week:
"Today on the occasion of his state visit to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, President Donald John Trump was presented with a solid gold sarcophagus dating to 2566 BC. The priceless coffin was taken from the tomb of Cheops the Second by British archaeologists in 1924. The Saudi royal family obtained the sarcophagus surreptitiously 20 years later while most of the civilized world was preoccupied with the Second World War.
"That the gold sarcophagus was that of Cheops, the second pharaoh of the Fourth Dynasty, makes the gift especially appropriate for President Trump, as it has recently been determined by Egyptologists that the term CHEOPS is not a given name but an acronym, a short for that pharaoh’s prime characteristics, to wit: Cowardly, Histrionic, Egotistical, Oleaginous, P---y-grabbing Slimeball."
When Agolf Shitler dies, he will be placed in the solid gold sarcophagus in his Presidential Library along with copies of all of the books he has ever read.
My vision: The sarcophagus is on Arab Force One when the kill switch is activated. The tremendous (bigliest ever) explosion results in a “Gilty” Donald. Justice has the final say.
Forget about after. We'll unfortunately never know. Do you think he travels with it, now, like his own personal bible? Like those pocket Constitutions they all walk around with? Do you think the Ritz Carlot.Qatar or Saudi Arabia where they stayed has a Qur'an, bible, and Mein Kampf for all their international guests? LOLl Do you think his SS was smart enough to sweep all the the rooms for bugs like even Susie Wiles?.she's probably a good one to listen in on. Cause you don't think.they didn't they didn't bug every room?.Especially GIJoe Pete Hegseth 🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸who has vocally come out and was heard saying says he wants to kill all Muslims? I don't recommend he go shirtless to the pool.with his crusader cross tattoos! Otherwise MBS will be screaming "Elon, bring me the chainsaw". 😂
Pharoah Cheops here! I'm pissed and pronounce a mummy's curse on every last one of you TBR guys! My sarcophagus wasn't made of gold- the grifting priests stripped most of that off before entombing me. Currently my sarcophagus is is in the cargo bay of some Qatar gold jet. I heard the baggage handlers saying something about a "two-fer". Now you're laughing at me!
We'll see how much the Saudis love him when he dies. They can build a replica of the Sphinx with his face on it right in front of TRUMP SAUDIA ARABIA Like one of those theme park Las Vegas hotels LOL.
It's a replica of his beautiful colon. No one has a beautiful colon like him. It's the Donnie-J. Trump Memorial Colonscopy Ride. That should be a sell-out. It goes in the buttt and out of the butt.
The comments to this are great! However, I think Egypt is trying to get back their archaeological treasures. And is Cheops the Second still in the sarcophagus? Might be too crowded for the orange turd. What funerary objects (archaeology term) might he be buried with?
Don't worry. MBS will put Donnie-2D through a blender first. Plenty of room. They'll have to check the auction houses or ebay where most of the stolen treasures are sold.
Perhaps Trump will feel so honored by this gesture, he will immediately have himself mummified and placed in the golden tub. ( He DOES love to surround himself with the shiny stuff, so it would so fitting. Alas, if only......)
Upon hearing this news, the leader of Cowboys for T volunteered to be the Vice Secretary of this new cabinet department and added he can store the bribes on his ranch. He also offered a motto for its mission that he claimed was endorsed by "Madame Melllie":: Never kiss a GRIFT horse on the mouth".
True, but to be fair Don, Jr. has probably snorted enough coke to perforate his septum and thus likely doesn't NEED to pick his nose. Eric does require nose-picking instruction and perhaps even a helpful You Tube video.
Yes. Kimberly Gargoyle never got the ring because she wouldn't blow the coke a la Stevie Nicks up Donnie Jrs. ass 20 times a day. Lara knows how to perform her tradwife duties.
😂 He must reek from the copius amounts of his cheap, synthetic chemical Made in China Trump aftershave, Aquanet hairspray, and spray tan...not to mention what comes out of his orifices and sweat glands. It's only 9 am and I just made myself nauseous for the day.
Did you read about the man who bought his wife the rose "gold" colored Trump watch for $650 made in China and they left off the "T" so it says RUMP on top? 😂 And he's suing the company that made them. They gave him an $800 credit. I think they should send it to the SMITHSONIAN museum in Washington when he dies and lif and we get our culture back.
When it comes to nausea, I very well might want you to suffer alone, since I don't deal with it well, ever. I was reading these comments shortly after eating breakfast, which took a ton of effort, but was good until I read these comments (chocolate chaffles with blackberry syrup).
And he really is "Mr. T". If he was wearing it and the plane went down over water he would sink to the ocean floor. It will be the only thing left when they recover it in a 100 years. 2 shoes and a necklace...like the Titanic. 🚢
Trump thinks it is such an honor to accept this grift, when in fact, they are laughing behind his back "we finally got rid of this white elephant by giving it to the orange president"
Yes, I read that...he landed in Riyadh and all the Arabian jets are bigger and newer....aww, poor sad Twumpy. It's really all about his widdle misshapen mushwoom, isn't it? Narcissistic envy is such a terrible affliction...only the application of copious amounts of flattery and a $400,000,000 tarted up flying bordello bribe can alleviate it. He is such a schmuck.
Yes!!! They are trying to dump that albatross since 2020 that is too big to fit in certain airports, it's getting old, costs millions to store and.it's a.gas-guzzler with fuel. Funding terrorism is expensive. They are trying to economize. want something slimmer, sleeker, less ostentatious, smaller, more "discreet and less attention seeking". So they are pawning all of that on for DJT Barnham. The biggest, most vulgar carnival barker in history.We are getting their dinosaur that will cost so much to retrofit and fly that we could have fed millions of people with. . And his $92 million birthday military parade. And Kristy Noem the puppy killer thinks she needs a new $50 million gulfstream jet. The grift is deep.
Does he even know that they have been trying to sell that 13 year old plane since 2020 and haven’t had even a nibble? So they decided to get it off their hands and give it to the biggest sucker in the world and the only one stupid to want a prince’s old discards, tRump!
My husband and I were talking about this last night. I suggested to him that Trump probably loves this plane just the way it is. He will manipulate all of us into believing it is being turned into Air Force One. Of course Boeing will go along with this as it is to receive an order for many planes from one of these countries. So the "retrofit"won't be done before he leaves office and he can just transfer it to his "library" as is.
Your'e right - oh never mind as It's a 13 year old reject that the prince no longer wants and tried to sell it but found no buyers....SIGNAL used by Pete Hegseth doesn't have much security either...
Do you think he would actually pay that tax out of his own pocket?? You and I would be paying somehow....and speaking of taxes, did we ever see his complete tax returns for the last several years? I think maybe not....
This calls for Melania to head this important position! Be Best at Bling.
I dunno--Melania's a little tasteful. What about Kristi the Puppy Slayer? Now there's a tacky broad.
💯
--or in charge of storage in offshore accounts.
Another illustration of one TBR theme: What may transpire when the Oath of Office is ignored by the Oaf in Office. 🫣
Love it!
It is a preface to a soon to be released book written by trump in crayon: 10 thousand ways to make extra money while being POTUS.
Only ten times? Thanks, as ever, for the snort dear Andy. It was a beautiful, bigly snort
So was your comment. Thanks.
Really. Oatmeal sprayed all over our breakfast table.
OK, now we have a sprayer to join the spitters and snorters. What's next? I'm keeping track of these reactions.
How about adding spewers?
Yes. Very scientific of you. Thanks.
Ten times the previous or current size of the EPA?
Important distinction!
The new department was necessitated in part by the event I reported earlier this week:
"Today on the occasion of his state visit to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, President Donald John Trump was presented with a solid gold sarcophagus dating to 2566 BC. The priceless coffin was taken from the tomb of Cheops the Second by British archaeologists in 1924. The Saudi royal family obtained the sarcophagus surreptitiously 20 years later while most of the civilized world was preoccupied with the Second World War.
"That the gold sarcophagus was that of Cheops, the second pharaoh of the Fourth Dynasty, makes the gift especially appropriate for President Trump, as it has recently been determined by Egyptologists that the term CHEOPS is not a given name but an acronym, a short for that pharaoh’s prime characteristics, to wit: Cowardly, Histrionic, Egotistical, Oleaginous, P---y-grabbing Slimeball."
When Agolf Shitler dies, he will be placed in the solid gold sarcophagus in his Presidential Library along with copies of all of the books he has ever read.
Reminds me of the old joke re Reagan: that he'd donated his only two books to his Presidential Library, and one of them hadn't even been colored yet.
Trump will not even have colored within the lines. Lines are for losers!
E.g., lines like the U.S. - Canadian border.
Classic
lol 😺😺😺
May I suggest the sarcophagus is placed in the grifted jet and set autopilot to take it Mars?
With Elon. Too delicious for words. 😋
And Stephen Miller.
Better yet, with a gas tank half full on autopilot over the Atlantic!
Except for adding to ocean pollution…
My kind of guy lol.
My vision: The sarcophagus is on Arab Force One when the kill switch is activated. The tremendous (bigliest ever) explosion results in a “Gilty” Donald. Justice has the final say.
I suggest it be taken to right over the Marianas Trench and not an inch further.
Creative thinking!
So the shelves will be empty? Oh wait, there will probably be stacks of Playboy and Hustler.
I don't think Mein Kampf weighs that much. They can put that in the coffin with him. No need to waste another inch of space.
That book's so toxic, it will ignite inside the sarcophagus. Cremation assured!
Yay! 🔥See, I'm no Fredo. I'm smart.
It is his favorite, after all; he'll rest peacefully (NOT) with it tucked under his wattle.
Forget about after. We'll unfortunately never know. Do you think he travels with it, now, like his own personal bible? Like those pocket Constitutions they all walk around with? Do you think the Ritz Carlot.Qatar or Saudi Arabia where they stayed has a Qur'an, bible, and Mein Kampf for all their international guests? LOLl Do you think his SS was smart enough to sweep all the the rooms for bugs like even Susie Wiles?.she's probably a good one to listen in on. Cause you don't think.they didn't they didn't bug every room?.Especially GIJoe Pete Hegseth 🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸who has vocally come out and was heard saying says he wants to kill all Muslims? I don't recommend he go shirtless to the pool.with his crusader cross tattoos! Otherwise MBS will be screaming "Elon, bring me the chainsaw". 😂
Two books with lots of pretty pictures
And Special Editions of Mein Kampf.
And Putin's version of
"Sex, Lies, and Videotape".
I can't contemplate the optics. 😎
Yikes!
Love the name. Sooooo fitting!
"...all the books he's ever read"
Mein Kampf.
Maybe the book should be placed on a solid gold nightstand situated next to the sarcophagus.
--whose slim volumes' extra weight will be negligible in Twitler's last resting place. A container to hold him where no other could!
Both of them?
There won't be any books. Sleazeball Shitzler (love that name!!) cannot read. So that shelf will be empty.
The cliffs notes version Mein Kampf is the only one. THE MAGAt fucks will be making porn illegal, so those magazines will be left out.
Pharoah Cheops here! I'm pissed and pronounce a mummy's curse on every last one of you TBR guys! My sarcophagus wasn't made of gold- the grifting priests stripped most of that off before entombing me. Currently my sarcophagus is is in the cargo bay of some Qatar gold jet. I heard the baggage handlers saying something about a "two-fer". Now you're laughing at me!
Love Cheops
Even dirty old Pharaohs need love too.
We'll see how much the Saudis love him when he dies. They can build a replica of the Sphinx with his face on it right in front of TRUMP SAUDIA ARABIA Like one of those theme park Las Vegas hotels LOL.
--with a roller coaster going out of Donald's giant mouth!
Or out his butt...
...or into his butt.
It's a replica of his beautiful colon. No one has a beautiful colon like him. It's the Donnie-J. Trump Memorial Colonscopy Ride. That should be a sell-out. It goes in the buttt and out of the butt.
--or perhaps RAMSES: Really Asinine Man So Extra Stupid.
The comments to this are great! However, I think Egypt is trying to get back their archaeological treasures. And is Cheops the Second still in the sarcophagus? Might be too crowded for the orange turd. What funerary objects (archaeology term) might he be buried with?
--surrounded with the padding of ten thousand red MAGA hats!
Don't worry. MBS will put Donnie-2D through a blender first. Plenty of room. They'll have to check the auction houses or ebay where most of the stolen treasures are sold.
Perhaps Trump will feel so honored by this gesture, he will immediately have himself mummified and placed in the golden tub. ( He DOES love to surround himself with the shiny stuff, so it would so fitting. Alas, if only......)
Well, since we have never had a President with the grifting ability of DJT, perhaps we should just be proud of him for that accomplishment.
The day hasn't dawned (and never will) when I am proud of the Convicted Felon.
👌👌👍👍!!
Oka-a-a-y?
Upon hearing this news, the leader of Cowboys for T volunteered to be the Vice Secretary of this new cabinet department and added he can store the bribes on his ranch. He also offered a motto for its mission that he claimed was endorsed by "Madame Melllie":: Never kiss a GRIFT horse on the mouth".
No, she said, "I never kiss the Donald! Never! Period!
Delicious, Alan.
True LOL
“Eric and Don Jr. can’t do it alone.”
Eric and Don jr. can't figure out how to pick their noses without instruction.
True, but to be fair Don, Jr. has probably snorted enough coke to perforate his septum and thus likely doesn't NEED to pick his nose. Eric does require nose-picking instruction and perhaps even a helpful You Tube video.
That's why he has Lara 💕
A trophy wife's true purpose?
Yes. Kimberly Gargoyle never got the ring because she wouldn't blow the coke a la Stevie Nicks up Donnie Jrs. ass 20 times a day. Lara knows how to perform her tradwife duties.
thanks, that one made me laugh!
I love to make my fellow TBR's happy!
...and dt( delirium tremens ) can just bend over and shoot the canary.
best one!
How deliciously gross.!
Nor can they do it together. As my late husband would say, "They cannot pour piss out of a boot, not even if the instructions are on the heel."
Surely, they are experts as shoveling.....
You mean they need a hand?
Thanks again. I share your report often. It’s just too good. Some people think it’s real, it’s so close to what’s happening. You’re
my hero. Better to laugh than to cry. And I also love Cookie.
Thank you!
The GRIFT space reeks of gold
it certainly reeks of something!
😂 He must reek from the copius amounts of his cheap, synthetic chemical Made in China Trump aftershave, Aquanet hairspray, and spray tan...not to mention what comes out of his orifices and sweat glands. It's only 9 am and I just made myself nauseous for the day.
Did you read about the man who bought his wife the rose "gold" colored Trump watch for $650 made in China and they left off the "T" so it says RUMP on top? 😂 And he's suing the company that made them. They gave him an $800 credit. I think they should send it to the SMITHSONIAN museum in Washington when he dies and lif and we get our culture back.
Thanks! You made the rest of us nauseous too!
You wouldn't want me to suffer alone Marie, would you? 😉
When it comes to nausea, I very well might want you to suffer alone, since I don't deal with it well, ever. I was reading these comments shortly after eating breakfast, which took a ton of effort, but was good until I read these comments (chocolate chaffles with blackberry syrup).
I'm glad I read this well after I digested breakfast . . . but the image still lingers . . . lol
So, Trump would never need embalming fluid?
Gold plate!
He’ll need that 747 to fly all his bribes home from the Middle East.
That's why he needs the plane. "A DE-LUXE U-HAUL IN THE SKY"
Did you see that solid gold necklace they gave him in Abu Dhabi? If he was flying Delta they
would charge him weight overage, LOL.
I pity the fool that tries to take away Mr. T's bling!
And he really is "Mr. T". If he was wearing it and the plane went down over water he would sink to the ocean floor. It will be the only thing left when they recover it in a 100 years. 2 shoes and a necklace...like the Titanic. 🚢
a long red tie and a wad of white brillo - LOL
A mens size 60 blue suit and a bottle of No-Doz.
The suit will become a coral reef. It will be the only thing he will ever do to save the planet.
😂😂😂😂😂
Perfect!
😊
Only if he booked basic economy.
I went business class to Europe and I got charged. Suitcase weighed more than my 5 yr old niece LOL.
Another Biden failure . . . .
So disgusting. Did you see the article where the Quataris tried to sell the plane they want to give to Trump but nobody wanted it???
Trump thinks it is such an honor to accept this grift, when in fact, they are laughing behind his back "we finally got rid of this white elephant by giving it to the orange president"
The Village Idiot.
Air Force One embarrasses our president.
Yes, I read that...he landed in Riyadh and all the Arabian jets are bigger and newer....aww, poor sad Twumpy. It's really all about his widdle misshapen mushwoom, isn't it? Narcissistic envy is such a terrible affliction...only the application of copious amounts of flattery and a $400,000,000 tarted up flying bordello bribe can alleviate it. He is such a schmuck.
Putin's plane is probably like a Cessna compared to them.
Our president embarrasses us
Wrong our President embarrasses us
??
Unless it's gold plated.
Our pino embarrasses Air Force One !
Wrong he embarrasses us
Well that says something right there. It’s flamboyant garbage but we know a guy who loves this kind of junk.
Yes, Bill. Mike-drop moment for the Prince. This putz
couldn't BE more embarrassing!
Yes!!! They are trying to dump that albatross since 2020 that is too big to fit in certain airports, it's getting old, costs millions to store and.it's a.gas-guzzler with fuel. Funding terrorism is expensive. They are trying to economize. want something slimmer, sleeker, less ostentatious, smaller, more "discreet and less attention seeking". So they are pawning all of that on for DJT Barnham. The biggest, most vulgar carnival barker in history.We are getting their dinosaur that will cost so much to retrofit and fly that we could have fed millions of people with. . And his $92 million birthday military parade. And Kristy Noem the puppy killer thinks she needs a new $50 million gulfstream jet. The grift is deep.
That's hilarious🤣 And agent orange thinks he is so loved in Qatar that they're giving him this bigliest, most beautifulest plane🤣🤣🤣
Sounds about right!
Laugh out loud funny. Thank you!
New motto:
Ruin America Probably Everywhere
The hats will sell like hotcakes.
Ooooh.
R.A.P.E. Saw what you did there.
Ouch!!
--or like condoms!
On Amazon yet?
They haven't figured out the tariff yet.
So many corrupt opportunities, so little time…
--and, pity, not even a third term.
… yet?
Oh, Andy, Andy, Andy. *sigh* You're keeping us sane.
Hollis, if this is "sane," we're all in trouble.
Then we're in trouble
Bigly trouble!
Very unfair too
Amen to that!
Does he even know that they have been trying to sell that 13 year old plane since 2020 and haven’t had even a nibble? So they decided to get it off their hands and give it to the biggest sucker in the world and the only one stupid to want a prince’s old discards, tRump!
My husband and I were talking about this last night. I suggested to him that Trump probably loves this plane just the way it is. He will manipulate all of us into believing it is being turned into Air Force One. Of course Boeing will go along with this as it is to receive an order for many planes from one of these countries. So the "retrofit"won't be done before he leaves office and he can just transfer it to his "library" as is.
but, but, but doesn't that mean it won't have the proper security systems and could be vulnerable to attack.... oh wait, nevermind
💣💣💣
LOL
Your'e right - oh never mind as It's a 13 year old reject that the prince no longer wants and tried to sell it but found no buyers....SIGNAL used by Pete Hegseth doesn't have much security either...
I think trump still has to pay a tax on this gift when he gets it… he’ll depreciate it from $400 mill to $600.00
Tax? Taxes are for losers &/or low-IQ individuals.
Do you think he would actually pay that tax out of his own pocket?? You and I would be paying somehow....and speaking of taxes, did we ever see his complete tax returns for the last several years? I think maybe not....
We have not
If we can get the family - cabinet - and the republican congress aboard for a flight over water in the new air force one maybe...
👍👍👍👍👍 I've been saying this for ages. Can't leave any of them left.
Because Dump is a greedy pig, the retrofit will include a golden trough filled with hamburgers. Oink!
Don't forget the fries on a golden conveyor belt!
and a vat of ketchup!
yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is our president . . . <ugh>
and an "Eew, eew, yucky-poo!"
Couldn'ta said it better me own damn self!
Wanna bet he grift . finagles a huuuuge biggghly tax deduction for his mob family ?
It's all fine. Why, it's Griftmas every day! Or, in this upside down world where ignorance is strength, the Grift of the MAGAi.
love the "Grift of the MAGAi"
--and no wise men in sight!
They're away in a hangar, awaiting deportation.
Brilliant!
Priceless! Thank you for a good laugh.
Good one!
Brilliant! Well done, you! 👍👍👍 "Grift of the MAGAi"! Still snorting...
Oh, boy, Clarence Thomas could handle the position of Secretary of the Department of Bribery, Graft and Extortion!
Stash some in his motor home.
All the Republicans in the Senate would make sure the nomination flies through
like that Qatari jet!
Well, that's assuming that there would be a Senate hearing. I think that the appointment happens by dictator's decree, right?