Trump Orders Rubio to Distract from Algae by Skinny-Dipping in Reflecting Pool
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Desperate to distract from the algae overwhelming the expensively-renovated Reflecting Pool, on Monday Donald J. Trump ordered Marco Rubio to skinny-dip in the green murk.
Reportedly, Rubio was taken aback by the extraordinary demand, but Trump roared, “Little Marco, you’ve got to take one for the team.”
By mid-morning, tourists gawking at the pool fiasco were stunned to see the Secretary of State doing a backstroke entirely naked except for his oversized Florsheims, which he appeared to be using as flippers.
Harland Dorrinson, who had traveled with his family from Akron, Ohio, initially recoiled at the sight of the nude Rubio, but later noted, “At least it wasn’t JD.”
If Trump Had Been in Charge of Other US Wars
My apologies for creating that mental image!
Trump has deployed the National Guard to keep people from taking bits of his failed paint job but would not deploy the National Guard on January 6th to protect democracy.