Trump Says Intelligence Played No Role in His Decision to Start War
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Confirming the suspicions of many in the international community, on Monday Donald J. Trump revealed that intelligence played “no role” in his decision to go to war with Iran.
“People keep asking me about intelligence,” he told reporters on Air Force One. “I made this call with no intelligence whatsoever.”
“Quite frankly, every decision I’ve ever made in my life I’ve made without intelligence,” he boasted. “Intelligence is for losers.”
Trump added that “I don’t trust people who have intelligence, which is why I love Pete.”
WATCH: She Says Trump Raped Her When She Was a Child
I have " a feeling in my bone spurs" a gift Ive used bigly since birth.
Lack of intelligence hasn't stopped him yet. There's been someone, a bank, an institution, a lackey, who props him up, takes the fall, turns the eye, and says go ahead and destroy everything.