501 Comments
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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Pee-wee German

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Jay F's avatar

He did his ancestry and was proud to discover his descent from Joe goebbels

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Karen's avatar

He resembles one of Dracula’s victims, drained of blood, cold as ice.

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John Townsend's avatar

--and all Americans are the ones to be sucked and drained dry!

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Billsburg's avatar

Miller looks so much like Goebbels…good argument that reincarnation is real.

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Janet HB's avatar

Herman Goring pretty close too. Architect of the Nazi police state.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Look at a pic of Adolf Eichmann. He really looks like him, in my opinion.

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Billsburg's avatar

Oh you're right; same forehead.

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

I think Miller is the re-incarnation of Reinhard Heydrich; the number two man in the Nazi SS behind Himmler who was also the architect of the Holocaust. They have the same soulless, empty eyes.

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jon Hodson's avatar

quite the resemblance

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Carol Hatch's avatar

Goebbels would be appalled by this suggestion.

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Jay F's avatar

Ouch!

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Bob Graham's avatar

I thought you were going to say that Stephen was going to act as a human shield. I like that idea much better.

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Susan Kice's avatar

Rubber bullets won't penetrate him!(That's what they're using right now). I think we have to drive a stake thru his heart to do any real damage!

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Robert E.'s avatar

One glitch: no heart.

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

Oh, then there's that. No heart.

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Anne Fletcher-Jones's avatar

Through his ear into his brain then?

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susie margaret ross's avatar

he has a brain?

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Anne Fletcher-Jones's avatar

Questionable!

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kdsherpa's avatar

Yikes! Not sure who'd volunteer to do that!!

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Anne Fletcher-Jones's avatar

Yeah—someone would have to get up close to him to do that. Ugh!

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Annette's avatar

We can expose him to daylight and lob garlic bulbs at him, if anything, just for grins and giggles

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John Townsend's avatar

Grins and giggles won't be rid of him. Garlic bulbs he would just throw away

like that sushi he did during the first Trump disaster!

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Annette's avatar

then its wooden stakes and silver crosses!!! And holy water!!

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

Shark infested holy water.

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John Townsend's avatar

--a stake marinated in aioli sauce!

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kdsherpa's avatar

LOL

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Let me whittle that piece of wood, right now!

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John Townsend's avatar

How? No one would see him, especially in a mirror!

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

In order to be a human shield, wouldn't he first have to be human?

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Robert E.'s avatar

Battering ram shovel-ready

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BTAM Master's avatar

In two words you just won the Internet for the day!

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

I didn’t make that up. But I’m happy to spread it

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Ellen Mandel's avatar

Human repellent, human shield!!! Greatness!! THANKS Andy and Bob G!! XOXO

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Trish's avatar

Glad I finished my coffee! Actually did LOL. Thanks, Andy, much needed this morning.

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Gabriele C Overweg's avatar

Why would women to bed with Joseph, or Stephen - the thought of it is almost atrocious. They both are so, well, awful.

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Barry Blue's avatar

And now his wife is with Muskrat. Just “working” I’m sure

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Can you believe sleeping with Miller and schmusk BOTH?

What kind of financial insecurity would drive one to THAT?

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John Townsend's avatar

Obviously, not a good prenup!

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Annette's avatar

<golf clap>

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Barry Blue's avatar

I just realized that this is a rather sexist comment, even considering the individuals involved

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Marcia Z Bookstein's avatar

Not sexist. Everyone has his or her price. Years ago I announced to my carpool that I would sleep with Charles Koch--for two billion. Then a buddy reminded me that I'd have to live with the memory. OK. Maybe not. Still, in a Capitalist world...

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Anne Fletcher-Jones's avatar

Apparently his soon-to-be-ex wife is just as bad as he is, which explains a lot.

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Herbert Bouley's avatar

Whenever I see a picture of Stephen Miller I expect to see a nazi swastika tattooed to his forehead.

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

And an SS Blood Group tattoo.

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John Townsend's avatar

Pee-wee heart and brain!

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

You owe the real Pee-Wee an apology.

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J Cheng's avatar

I love that moniker.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Love it

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Herbert Bouley's avatar

When trump is gone Stephen Miller will be the darling of all those trump base racists. Could he actually win the primaries and become the republican nominee for president? That thought scares me to death!!

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John  (NJ-VT)'s avatar

Pee Wee, in the end, turned out semi normal. SHAME ON YOU!

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Suzi Harkey's avatar

OH SO GOOD!!!

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Agnes mcfa's avatar

He makes my skin crawl

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BJC00549's avatar

Yes…a Nazi who certainly is not Jewish!! 🤬

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

He is a Jewish Nazi. Even his uncle says so. Believe me, there were quite a few in Germany. Daughter of Holocaust victims here.

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BJC00549's avatar

Such a freak

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Anne Fletcher-Jones's avatar

His uncle was interviewed today (or maybe yesterday—I’m in the U.K. Time difference confuses me sometimes!). He sounded like a very nice man.

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MLK's avatar

Alas, he is Jewish but still likes to hang with neo-Nazis.

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BJC00549's avatar

NOT AT ALL Jewish in my book!

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Michael Little's avatar

Skin crawl? Is that what I experience whenever he's on the screen (and then, talking)? What's the antidote? Oh yeah, It's Andy! Thank you, Andy and Agnes!

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Anne Fletcher-Jones's avatar

Plus some puppies, kittens, horses and birds with flowers.

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Larry Caringer's avatar

He’s a perfect Central Casting Nazi. Shouldn’t have any problem getting work in Hollywood. All he’ll have to do is keep acting evil like he does every day.

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Sally Joy Rubin's avatar

He is a Nazi. No acting involved.

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Judy Fern's avatar

That's not acting!

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Judith Green's avatar

It's so ironic that he is Jew, grandson of Holocaust survivors. But then, so is Netanyahu a Jewish Nazi.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Bibi is the WORST! My hope is seeing him at The Hague!

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Judith Green's avatar

I agree - that would be proper justice, though nothing can undo the deaths, injuries and effects of horrific trauma.

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Mary Roeser's avatar

It's not an act. He IS a Nazi!!

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John Chastain's avatar

Nah, he's already sending troops to attack Hollywood.

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John Townsend's avatar

--but his vampiric presence would not show up on the camera!

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John Townsend's avatar

If a camera did pick up his image, he would make Max Schreck of Murnau's Nosferatu

look like Brad Pitt or Clark Gable!

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Paule Deneau's avatar

Acy Nazurally

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Paule Deneau's avatar

Act Nazurally.

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P Q O’Riley's avatar

Unfortunately he’s not “acting.” He’s the real EVIL deal

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Beth Resler Walters's avatar

Tiny, with horns and a thin, red, pointed tail.

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Robert Cadigan's avatar

With the possible exception of the late Roy Cohn and Steve Bannon, I can’t think of any 21st century American as repulsive. Maybe Andy could follow up Quislings with a series on “people who make my skin crawl.”

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andrea's avatar

Rush Limbaugh comes to mind. I hope he is not resting peacefully.

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Robert Cadigan's avatar

Of course! Another possible series for Andy: who will Trump award the Presidential Medal of Freedom to next?

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Barry Blue's avatar

One of the January 6th insurrectionists

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Marmo's avatar

That is sad, but probably true.

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Annette's avatar

that is worthy of a "storm the capitol" protest, right?

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John Townsend's avatar

This time the Capitol police would swing wide the barricade gates!

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Annette's avatar

and we can file in, double file, in orderly fashion, clasp hands and sing "Kumbaya"... and hope that tRump gets distracted and chokes the bass turd with the medal.

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howard levitt's avatar

Alex Jones for sure, my skin is crawling just thinking of him.

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Anne Fletcher-Jones's avatar

Oh yes! He belongs at the top of the list! Can we have a list of creepy women too?

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Marmo's avatar

Robert Cadigan - You just named 3 top candidates right there. But, I don't know which one is the most disgusting - I don't know who to vote for out of that trio. They are all equally repulsive. Great contest idea, but I'd be stumped to pick only one.

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Robert Cadigan's avatar

Someone else suggested Rush Limbaugh.

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Marmo's avatar

Robert C - I see somebody also mentioned Kristi Noem - she has that same insane look in her eyes that Miller has.

So, a quintet of the most repulsive creatures - impossible for me to select one that is worse than the others. All of them are the worst - more awful than any nightmare I could have created in my imagination. And Dump has lifted up all of them.

Dump creates loyalty by not just noticing, but ennobling people who would otherwise be ignored due to their insanity and/or stupidity. They know that without Dump, they would be swept aside by decent folks. Dump gives them attention and power - and that's why they'll do anything - ANYTHING - to support and protect him.

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Annette's avatar

its almost as if someone cloned Children of the Corn for political purposes, and tRump appointed them all to his administration

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John Townsend's avatar

Not a wooden stake, but lighter to melt the plastic!

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Marmo's avatar

John Townsend - Perhaps a silver bullet, a wooden stake, AND lighter fluid to melt the plastic! There's some mighty strong evil there - we want to make sure that it's all gone.

Miller and Noem truly look like they're made out of plastic. Do we know for sure that they have some connection to humankind? I wonder every time I see them.

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Annette's avatar

my vote would go to Alex Jones and his twin sister, Laura Loomer

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Loomer…another Jewish Nazi! Definitely needs to be taken away in a white wagon.

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

Why bother. Everyone is going to check Miller.

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Robert Cadigan's avatar

Every time I see him, I imagine a lizard tongue coming out of his mouth.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Every time Seth Myers shows Miller's picture on

his show it comes with a clap of thunder, lightning

and a high, cackling laugh. Hysterical

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Suzy Fraser's avatar

And whinnying horses!

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Barry Blue's avatar

Herr Blucher?

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Robert E.'s avatar

Night of The Living Dead 2025

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Annette's avatar

I actually hear a hiss, a snarl and the display of pointed canine teeth

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Michael Little's avatar

Not your imagination. If you play his videos in slow motion you can see the tongue! Please, this is no reflection on the millions of actual lizards that God created ("all creatures great and small"). Some of them are very cute, like the geckos here in Hawaii and the horned toads in Texas.

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Melissa Thompson's avatar

OMG-yes!!!

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Lucy Conner's avatar

That's exactly what I've always thought, Robert!

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Stephanie's avatar

I nominate Kristi Noem, just to start the list.

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Michael Little's avatar

Skin crawl? So that's what I've been feeling. Please, Lord, make it stop!

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Anne Fletcher-Jones's avatar

The Loser Taco Don himself, and Muskrump. They make my skin crawl as well as leave me feeling nauseated.

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MLK's avatar

Mitch McConnell qualifies.

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John Townsend's avatar

-and there would be plenty of skin crawls, for sure!

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Lavita Shelton's avatar

We already know who would win!

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Annette's avatar

THAT would be an interesting compilation; a subset of quislings.

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Mike Fitch's avatar

PeeWee German would indeed leave the LA streets emptier than an early morning seminar on empathy at Mar-a-Lago.

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Marmo's avatar

🤣🤣 - You've got that right, Mike Fitch.

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Frau Katze's avatar

lol 😺

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John Townsend's avatar

or "Increasing Your Brainpower" on QAnon.

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Mary Ellen Barnes's avatar

I'm not sure Miller is actually human.

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Lynn O’Brien's avatar

He does look alien

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Annette's avatar

especially those veins from his temples to over his eyes

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Hollis's avatar

Max Schreck in a suit.

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MLK's avatar

Miller is an albino turd.

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ceekaycee's avatar

Unfortunately , the National Guard fled when confronted with the frightening object - not ever having confronted anything like it ( him).

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IntuitiveBody's avatar

He looks like what he is.... not-human or humane , monstrous, vile.

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Fernando Manibog's avatar

Brilliant! I love this post. They should use shields with LED screens, flash Miller's face toward the protesters, and watch the crowds retreat and run to restrooms to vomit, to pharmacies to get anti-nausea medication, to churches to seek comfort from having seen the visage of Satan.

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John Townsend's avatar

The crowds have already had, as we all have, not only a visual but sense of Satan since

the election.

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PrincessKrapotkin's avatar

🤣 Almost spit my coffee out.

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Lynn O’Brien's avatar

He gives me the creeps and makes my blood boil with anger!

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BJC00549's avatar

Like is not apt. I “like” in agreement, as we all do.

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Kevern Hartmann's avatar

He is an insult to reptiles

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Sue Hubley's avatar

He IS horrible. Ann Telnaes did a great caricature of him.

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Bill Smith's avatar

I thought that was his parents.

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Chris Etow's avatar

The title alone says it all. Still laughing!

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Lisa Botwinick's avatar

🤣🤣🤣 Excellent idea!

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chickie grayson's avatar

So true! Thank you!

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