Andy, is it true that Curious George is planning to hire Matt Gaetz to oversee Data Ethics & Integrity (DEI) in the revamped Bureau of Labor Unfounded & Fabricated Facts (BLUFF)?
Yes, he does. And we don't bash each other, either. My favorite vice is reading advice columns (www.uexpress.com/life) over morning coffee. The letter writers are usually just looking for a little help and solace, but they receive some gratuitously mean comments from their fellow beings.
But, sometimes, the advice-seekers seem to beg for a drubbing. And I think I've never before used the word "drubbing." But I have known it. The word, that is, not an actual drubbing.
I love this, Alan - brilliant, as usual. BLUFF - he's already a master at it.
After Santos has destroyed the Bureau of Labor, it can become the Bureau of Lavish Unfounded & Fabricated Facts (also BLUFF) - which will allow him to perform his special skill of lying about EVERYTHING, not just Labor statistics.
I wonder if he's making friends and influencing people in prison.
Hi Marmo. While most of his fellow inmates are probably too savvy to believe his shtick, GS may attract a few who are amused by him or believe his stories. Meanwhile , we'll see if he gets a pardon -- at least to get a job as Court Jester in the WH. 🤡
The lips comment actually was referencing how his head puppet operates. The ventriloquist in chief provides the words and his puppets move their lips in synch in the tradition of Edgar Bergen, Shari Lewis and Jeff Dunham.
"She's become a star," he said during a recent interview. "It's that face. It's that brain. It's those lips, the way they move. They move like she's a machine gun."
"What brain" is right, Jocelyn B.! She's way more stupid than a parrot. Perhaps it's an auto-correct misspelling of puppet - and, to stay in "revolting" mode and on the subject of puppets, we know where he'd like to stick his tiny hands. Ewwwww - I'm apologizing for even that thought.
Good one. I'm going to start calling her that. You know what else is so weird and might be more proof of cognitive decline...is this how to describe someone (especially someone so much younger) while also denying being friends with Epstein and knowing "nothing nothing, I know nothing" about his activities?
Remember, Donald J. Trump sets very high standards for lying. I'm not sure George Santos will be able to live up to the expectations. Perhaps his fabled lying ability is just hype?
A very sweet and much appreciated comment Celia. My girlfriend warns me to desist when we're in public lest she have an accident. The real secret of our 30-year liaison:-)
Al K. -- It's interesting that EM ("The Sperminator") did not use DOGE to eliminate the BLS -- perhaps because he wants them to track all the women he's responsible for going into labor?🤔
LR -- I sincerely apologize. From my viewpoint, almost every headline in the news each day is gagsome and I try to offset the nonstop insanity with the TBR satire, pro sports, reruns of my favorite old TV series and even HGTV. I hope you've found effective escape hatches 😎
Alan, you are such a decent man, every time. Now I feel bad, having trod on your fun. Thank you for asking about my outlets, like yours, include TBR along with some artwork, some writing and the like. Staring at a wall sometimes helps, too. I need a new TV, but know nothing about them (will be replacing an old, old tube TV). I don't need cable or fancy stuff, but I'm a technidiot and have yet to do some research on what would suit my TV needs. By the way, which old shows draw you in?
LR, if you have a Big Screen TV store near you, they often have sales people who will recommend TV technology that will meet your needs and budget. Another alternative is AARP for those over 50. My favorite old shows include Perry Mason, Get Smart, Columbo, Matlock, Mission Impossible and The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. Meanwhile my wife and I have cut back on MSNBC and CNN based on the depressing news.
Thanks for the tip. I do have such stores in the area. Those are good shows and Perry Mason does take me back. Other faves are Mary Tyler Moore, of course, and The Dick van Dyke Show. It is possible, however, to overdo them, as I found out.
Make sure the thank you note is written within a Sharpie drawn outline of Melania's nude body. Andy can sign his name anywhere that's most inappropriate.
Excellent. This is George’s true calling. August approval ratings will be 11,000%.. thanks for starting Monday off to be the best in history. At least according to George Santos
There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge'. -- Isaac Asimov, January 21, 1980.
That thread of ignorance has wound its way to our white house- the already failing/flailing potus trump’s hired dummies say the ignorant things spinning in his empty skull, and then we’re expected to believe the utter pablum they all spew. His party knows it’s all nonsense, but they’re riding this joke for every dollar they can squeeze out of it while our country & constitution careen over the cliff.
We know this, the whole world knows this - it’s laughable only because every day is another absolutely ridiculous day of unbelievable bullshite. Soon, a lot of Americans will be crying as our safety nets disintegrate; but not to worry, Moscow Mitch says we will get over it.
I wish SCOTUS would wake up and push back! But, as Kathy clearly stated in her comment, they (just like his party) are "riding this joke for every dollar they can squeeze out of it". Greed has been the downfall of past democracies and will be the downfall of ours.
I have never understood why anyone would prefer to remain ignorant instead of becoming educated. You don't have to flaunt a college degree or even have one. Real knowledge on just about any subject can be found on You Tube!
It's a matter of willful ignorance. There is an active attempt to avoid information that might contradict preconceived notions. And a preemptive strike on anyone that might have the correct information.
Just have to be discerning enough to spot the lies and greed, etc. Just being on this planet long enough with eyes and mind open, can make the lies and phoniness apparent!!!
And he'll take a "wiz," like every other Frump appointee, on our democracy. Andy, please don't tempt the Pissant of the United States to give this moron a job.
You beat me to it! Actually, I pegged Santos to be the Vice-Presidential candidate, given that Trump will most assuredly will run for another term (whether it’s legal or not).
Social media is our kryptonite. Historians will look back and conclude that social media is the root cause of our decline. Stupidity and ignorance have always been there but social media is the accelerant
When the data is "baked" to the point where even the things that need to be worked on are avoided, the end is near. Unless a few really smart people remain to work on solutions. There are no more problems that can be fixed with simple-minded solutions
Not fair to Mississippi State University which has a fine architecture program! (A friend’s son matriculates there in the fall.) Or Michigan State University …
I know you wrote this as humor, but the way Trump is going, this could become true. Santos is meeting Trump in the cemented over former Rose Garden today to talk about his next opportunity to make jobs great again.
No--that says it all about Agent Orange et al. I now find myself resenting when the news organizations say something about America's latest travesty when what they're really talking about is Dump's latest outrage. In no way do I want to be identified with him or his wanton demolition of everything that is value to most Americans.
Hopefully society (that would be us mere mortals) will fight back against Jabba the Gut and his outrageous stupidity. But so far , other than the occasional protest, we are going along with him...outraged but compliant.
You're right, but I think the appearance of compliance is uncertainty about how to effectively take on such a deranged loose cannon with so much power. I am encouraged by the voices of stellar leaders and thinkers (Heather Cox Richardson, Adam Kinzinger, Robert Reich) who are doing their utmost every day to hold his feet to the fire. I still have hopes that the Epstein mess, especially the testimony of "Katie Johnson" in 2016, which appears to be resurfacing, will be the beginning of the end of this disgusting and humiliating chapter in our history.
"A brilliant choice!," Santos cooed, with Trump beaming on him like a long lost son.
"No, really, George is the perfect son," Trump crowed to the audience of stunned reporters. "He shifts shapes like nobody I've ever seen, except perhaps me. Just a terrific young man. Time to slaughter the fatted calf."
Looks like Karoline Leavitt has competition
Andy, is it true that Curious George is planning to hire Matt Gaetz to oversee Data Ethics & Integrity (DEI) in the revamped Bureau of Labor Unfounded & Fabricated Facts (BLUFF)?
I'm pretty sure that Matt Gaetz is slated in for the White House Director of Underage Massage Therapists.
Glenn -- he wouldn't be the first in this administration to have two assignments and do both poorly 😇
LOL
After he changes the name to Young Underage Masseuses. ("YUM")
Genius
That would be about right. Abd Gislaine will be overseeeing the “ business end” of the operation.
😂 absolutely gut wrenchingly funny! And the comments you inspired are great too!
The comments are always great. Andy attracts thinkers.
Yes, he does. And we don't bash each other, either. My favorite vice is reading advice columns (www.uexpress.com/life) over morning coffee. The letter writers are usually just looking for a little help and solace, but they receive some gratuitously mean comments from their fellow beings.
But, sometimes, the advice-seekers seem to beg for a drubbing. And I think I've never before used the word "drubbing." But I have known it. The word, that is, not an actual drubbing.
That's sometimes true, LRA. And drubbing is a good word. I wish one on Donald and his handlers.
🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Love that….Bureau of Labor Unfounded & Fabricated Facts…..brilliant!
Alan...you and Andy never disappoint !
Oh......this is GOOD!!!!!!
I love this, Alan - brilliant, as usual. BLUFF - he's already a master at it.
After Santos has destroyed the Bureau of Labor, it can become the Bureau of Lavish Unfounded & Fabricated Facts (also BLUFF) - which will allow him to perform his special skill of lying about EVERYTHING, not just Labor statistics.
I wonder if he's making friends and influencing people in prison.
Hi Marmo. While most of his fellow inmates are probably too savvy to believe his shtick, GS may attract a few who are amused by him or believe his stories. Meanwhile , we'll see if he gets a pardon -- at least to get a job as Court Jester in the WH. 🤡
Yes, he will be the Bigly, Supreme Leader of that department.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
especially in the argument, "who is the prettiest?"
Spokesbarbie Kitara Ravache! 💋
lolol
Based on what drumpf said about her lips recently, I don’t think George can compete with that. ETA: Do we really want to know "machine gun" lips are?
The lips comment actually was referencing how his head puppet operates. The ventriloquist in chief provides the words and his puppets move their lips in synch in the tradition of Edgar Bergen, Shari Lewis and Jeff Dunham.
I've seen George in makeup, so I'm not so sure . . . but he doesn't wear a cross, so that might be the sticking point
He doesn't where a cross (hide behind Jesus) because he's Jew-ish.
that's right, I forgot that!
Leavitt's and Bondi's crucifixes might ward off Santos--and we'll be saved!
What was the lips comment? I missed that.
"She's become a star," he said during a recent interview. "It's that face. It's that brain. It's those lips, the way they move. They move like she's a machine gun."
OMG> That's revolting. Also, WHAT BRAIN? She's a parrot.
Brains are not a requirement for her job.
"What brain" is right, Jocelyn B.! She's way more stupid than a parrot. Perhaps it's an auto-correct misspelling of puppet - and, to stay in "revolting" mode and on the subject of puppets, we know where he'd like to stick his tiny hands. Ewwwww - I'm apologizing for even that thought.
blecchh!
If lips could kill….
Gross! He is so revolting
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-karoline-leavitt-lips_n_689055cfe4b0b6f38d13ab78
Billsburg, thanks for the link. YUK. I like to call her Karo-lying Leave-It. Her OTT self-righteousness is just exhausting.
Good one. I'm going to start calling her that. You know what else is so weird and might be more proof of cognitive decline...is this how to describe someone (especially someone so much younger) while also denying being friends with Epstein and knowing "nothing nothing, I know nothing" about his activities?
I call her Bobblehead Barbie.
--but it's a tossup, right?
In a closed casket, they're indistinguishable.
very, very close!
Remember, Donald J. Trump sets very high standards for lying. I'm not sure George Santos will be able to live up to the expectations. Perhaps his fabled lying ability is just hype?
Inflation is at -1,500%! Companies are paying us to buy their stuff!
Is that like a tenth?
Not unless he bleaches out and grows a pair of presidentially approved assets.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. But her lips!!!
Butter lips?
See above....
The can lights?
You crack me up, Al!
A very sweet and much appreciated comment Celia. My girlfriend warns me to desist when we're in public lest she have an accident. The real secret of our 30-year liaison:-)
I have no trouble believing that, Al. She is lucky to have you to crack her up!
Celia, now you can estimate how many cartons of eggs Al goes through in a week.
Leavitt has competition? trump is drooling over Santos' lips, too?
LR -- The drooler could satirize The Eagles hit song when serenading Curious George, his new Leavitt alternative: "You can't hide your lying lips!"
You succeeded in making me laugh out loud, Andy! And I woke up really crabby this morning, so it was quite a feat!! Thank you!
Al K. -- It's interesting that EM ("The Sperminator") did not use DOGE to eliminate the BLS -- perhaps because he wants them to track all the women he's responsible for going into labor?🤔
Alan, I know that you mean well and good cheer, but seeing the reference to muck and sperm in one sentence is gagsome to me.
LR -- I sincerely apologize. From my viewpoint, almost every headline in the news each day is gagsome and I try to offset the nonstop insanity with the TBR satire, pro sports, reruns of my favorite old TV series and even HGTV. I hope you've found effective escape hatches 😎
Alan, you are such a decent man, every time. Now I feel bad, having trod on your fun. Thank you for asking about my outlets, like yours, include TBR along with some artwork, some writing and the like. Staring at a wall sometimes helps, too. I need a new TV, but know nothing about them (will be replacing an old, old tube TV). I don't need cable or fancy stuff, but I'm a technidiot and have yet to do some research on what would suit my TV needs. By the way, which old shows draw you in?
LR, if you have a Big Screen TV store near you, they often have sales people who will recommend TV technology that will meet your needs and budget. Another alternative is AARP for those over 50. My favorite old shows include Perry Mason, Get Smart, Columbo, Matlock, Mission Impossible and The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. Meanwhile my wife and I have cut back on MSNBC and CNN based on the depressing news.
Thanks for the tip. I do have such stores in the area. Those are good shows and Perry Mason does take me back. Other faves are Mary Tyler Moore, of course, and The Dick van Dyke Show. It is possible, however, to overdo them, as I found out.
Every move made by Trump is giving you with an unending amount of canon fodder for hilarious satire! Have you sent him a thank you note? 😂👏🔥💙💙💙
Make sure the thank you note is written within a Sharpie drawn outline of Melania's nude body. Andy can sign his name anywhere that's most inappropriate.
😂😂😂
No holds barred lie-athon?
Those lips!
I am so glad Donald tap into the general excellence of George 😳
--yet Santos is not blonde!
Yet.....
But his lips aren't near as good
Good choice! He once was a statistics professor at Harvard.
I think he knew trump’s uncle there too.
They both taught Ted Kaczynski before he moved to Montana and started making uni bombs
Now I understand Ted.
😂😂😂💣💥
Bob -- He clarified his degree and professorship were Harvard-ish. 🤔
Harvard-ish? He didn't!
Isn’t that a cheese?
That one got me. . . 🤣
Yes Misia -- It's havarti to a degree. 😉
And led Harvard to the Miss Universe Volleyball title….three years in a row.
He chaired the "Out Of Thin Air" department.
Actually, when he was four, he invented statistics.
😂😂😂😂
Was he nominated for the Nobel?
Actually he won it but was too modest to let them announce it.
He won a Nobel prize by capitalizing on his combined Swedish and Norwegian heritage. 🤗
Like Uncle Whoozis who had 3 degrees and taught the guy who died first.
Excellent. This is George’s true calling. August approval ratings will be 11,000%.. thanks for starting Monday off to be the best in history. At least according to George Santos
Can he help with the pesky thermometer and fix global warming too?
George is great with temperature. I'm watching him playing beach volleyball right now in his parka and winter boots.
He can already post the next 3 1/2 years' job numbers.
Love this comment! :-) !!
There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge'. -- Isaac Asimov, January 21, 1980.
For more on this topic: https://bookshop.org/p/books/profiles-in-ignorance-how-america-s-politicians-got-dumb-and-dumber-andy-borowitz/18246227?ean=9781668003893&next=t&affiliate=109008
I’ve read your marvelous book twice now, Andy. Might have to go for a third time!
I’m going to read it again. Yes…it IS that good
It’s on my bookshelf now! Late summer beach read…
Wonderful book, Andy.
That thread of ignorance has wound its way to our white house- the already failing/flailing potus trump’s hired dummies say the ignorant things spinning in his empty skull, and then we’re expected to believe the utter pablum they all spew. His party knows it’s all nonsense, but they’re riding this joke for every dollar they can squeeze out of it while our country & constitution careen over the cliff.
We know this, the whole world knows this - it’s laughable only because every day is another absolutely ridiculous day of unbelievable bullshite. Soon, a lot of Americans will be crying as our safety nets disintegrate; but not to worry, Moscow Mitch says we will get over it.
And after we get over it, Joni Ernst said we’re all going to die anyway!
Ernst is an empty soulless sarcastic bitch
Everything you have written is absolutely spot on. Wish the non MAGA folks would wake up and push back.
I wish SCOTUS would wake up and push back! But, as Kathy clearly stated in her comment, they (just like his party) are "riding this joke for every dollar they can squeeze out of it". Greed has been the downfall of past democracies and will be the downfall of ours.
Hopefully we will ALL wake up to this in time!!!!!
And wish the MAGAs would just wake up and think.
Or emigrate to Hungary or Byelorussia
Maybe the blue states can finance that for the red states, like so many other things.
And Joni Ernst is reassuring us that we're all going to die anyway.
I have never understood why anyone would prefer to remain ignorant instead of becoming educated. You don't have to flaunt a college degree or even have one. Real knowledge on just about any subject can be found on You Tube!
Unfortunately, many prefer to remain blissfully ignorant. See Dave Drum’s comment, the Isaac Asimov quote.
It's a matter of willful ignorance. There is an active attempt to avoid information that might contradict preconceived notions. And a preemptive strike on anyone that might have the correct information.
Just have to be discerning enough to spot the lies and greed, etc. Just being on this planet long enough with eyes and mind open, can make the lies and phoniness apparent!!!
Doesn't take a PhD...
Completely agree. This is mass willful ignorance and group wishful thinking.
Well said…and true..
Substack is fighting the good fight against ignorance, hate and lies (at least the authors I read).
When asked about his qualifications Santos replied, "no problem I'm a wiz. I took a course in prison.".
And he'll take a "wiz," like every other Frump appointee, on our democracy. Andy, please don't tempt the Pissant of the United States to give this moron a job.
He counted the towels in the showers....
Now some are missing.
Now that BLS is aligned to parrot Trump's message, its survey should be appropriately renamed the whack jobs report.
It was the Platinum Sstandard for the entire world. ETTTTTS. (Everything that Taco Touches Turns to Shit.)
The original: Everything Trump Touches Dies
Known as ETTD.
Thank you to the Lincoln Report.
Is this the REAL Montezuma's revenge?
<chef’s kiss>
His Regime is a collection of unfit Misfit Toys (with apologies to Misfit Toys everywhere).
Also, math is hard!
If only they could be sent back to their own chilly island!
I object! This is an insult to all toys everywhere.
This could be a precursor to George Santos being named the GOP nominee for president in 2028.
He's quite qualified: his resume already shows he's served one term.
With his expertise in counting and truth telling, I'm surprised Trump has named him to head the Federal Elections Commission.
You beat me to it! Actually, I pegged Santos to be the Vice-Presidential candidate, given that Trump will most assuredly will run for another term (whether it’s legal or not).
Just another bizaroworld moment in current events
Remember Doonesbury? I think the U.S. is slowly becoming Bezerkistan!
Bizarroworld! Brilliant!
The clock keeps ticking, Superman. SOS
Social media is our kryptonite. Historians will look back and conclude that social media is the root cause of our decline. Stupidity and ignorance have always been there but social media is the accelerant
Well done, Bill!
When the data is "baked" to the point where even the things that need to be worked on are avoided, the end is near. Unless a few really smart people remain to work on solutions. There are no more problems that can be fixed with simple-minded solutions
It won’t last. Trump can’t stand anybody who outdoes him.
Every one of his appointees is a cum laude graduate of MSU.... Making Shit Up.
Not fair to Mississippi State University which has a fine architecture program! (A friend’s son matriculates there in the fall.) Or Michigan State University …
Is matriculation legal in Mississippi?
Al -- It's legal as long as one scrubs their hands thoroughly within 30 minutes and says 3 Lester Maddox's. 🤔
Ok I can see how that would work but wasn't Lester from Georgia?
Al -- of course. This ma-trick-you-lation" process honors their heroes and leverages their knowledge of history and geography 🤔
Ah ha! So, it's all a pencil necked, pointy headed liberal plot to sully the miscegenation culture an heritage of Ma by trickin' her?
Or Montana State University, Bozeman
Fintan - You sum it up perfectly for me:
"Every one of his appointees is a cum laude graduate of MSU.... Making Shit Up"..
perfect, Finton.
Andy:
I know you wrote this as humor, but the way Trump is going, this could become true. Santos is meeting Trump in the cemented over former Rose Garden today to talk about his next opportunity to make jobs great again.
Cemented-over Rose Garden: that says it all about our society
Paved paradise put up a parking lot. Next, an ugly gold leaf ballroom
Joni Mitchell never saw the ballroom coming!
Someone needs to drive a big, yellow taxi through it! Next, the gilt
Louis XIV Oval Office!
We need to call a cab.
Big yellow cab
With a lovely gold-plated guillotine right in the middle.
It will be the Versailles of the 21st Century. LET THEM EAT CAKE!!!
Good one! Normalizing bad taste.
No--that says it all about Agent Orange et al. I now find myself resenting when the news organizations say something about America's latest travesty when what they're really talking about is Dump's latest outrage. In no way do I want to be identified with him or his wanton demolition of everything that is value to most Americans.
Hopefully society (that would be us mere mortals) will fight back against Jabba the Gut and his outrageous stupidity. But so far , other than the occasional protest, we are going along with him...outraged but compliant.
You're right, but I think the appearance of compliance is uncertainty about how to effectively take on such a deranged loose cannon with so much power. I am encouraged by the voices of stellar leaders and thinkers (Heather Cox Richardson, Adam Kinzinger, Robert Reich) who are doing their utmost every day to hold his feet to the fire. I still have hopes that the Epstein mess, especially the testimony of "Katie Johnson" in 2016, which appears to be resurfacing, will be the beginning of the end of this disgusting and humiliating chapter in our history.
Jabba the Gut is perfect!
Me too. Thanks for the reality post.
Wait until the lighted 93 ft Marquee is installed! The top-liner is in residence.
Or Trump's face carved into Mount Rushmore. Don't laugh. Stranger things have been done by him
It matches the White House's color.
I would prefer they cement-over The Kennedy Center rather than rename it after DT.
We are consumers first, citizens second.
"A brilliant choice!," Santos cooed, with Trump beaming on him like a long lost son.
"No, really, George is the perfect son," Trump crowed to the audience of stunned reporters. "He shifts shapes like nobody I've ever seen, except perhaps me. Just a terrific young man. Time to slaughter the fatted calf."
Oh, this is just sublime. It's so good it's (almost) beyond laughter.
Perfect! Channelling Vaclav Havel - humor in the face of the absurdities of power. Or did George Santos say that?
High praise! Thank you.
Taisa -
Thank you for the reference which educated and enlightened me.
You mean a reminder of George’s great quote? You’re welcome. And he said this while performing the world’s first brain transplant.
George said everything, first!
Sadly, I believe this could happen. (Thanks for the great spin on it!! ;) )
I was just thinking the same thing. Sounds just like something 🍊💩 head would do.