Trump Tours Chinese Factory that Manufactures his Bibles
SHANGHAI (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump accomplished what he called “the main goal” of his trip to China on Thursday by inspecting the printing plant where his $60 Trump Bibles are printed.
Accompanied by Chinese President Xi Jinping, Trump said he wanted “to be sure that the Chinese printed the lyrics to ‘God Bless the USA’ right, because those are Jesus’s most important words.”
President Xi praised his American counterpart, telling him, “You have created more Chinese jobs than I have.”
Trump cancelled plans to visit the factory that manufactures gold Trump Mobile phones after learning that it did not exist.
Watch: Heather Cox Richardson on the End of Trump
Trump idiotically declares Xi his “friend” as China sends weapons to Iran: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/13/us/politics/china-iran-weapons-trump-xi.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share
Donald’s favorite part of the Trump Bible is the Old Testicle, which tells the story of the Immaculate Deception.