257 Comments
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Kate's avatar

Kind of hate you for this post.😉 I know these are jokes and or satire. But when I got the alert that the parade was called off, I was briefly so very happy.

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

There's time yet.

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

They're predicting heavy rain and flash flooding in the DC area today. And we all know tRump is afraid of rain, sharks, windmills and batteries.

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WoodsmanBob's avatar

.......and any responsibility for his disastrous actions....... Time to Purge the WH.

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kdsherpa's avatar

Not just the orange sadist. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAS GOT TO GO.

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WoodsmanBob's avatar

"All the ASS Lickers"

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Figment Of Imagination's avatar

Quick! Go line the grandstands with batteries! 😉😉

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Bud Priba's avatar

Batteries!

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Christina Ansari's avatar

I know that in English you say "it's raining cats and dogs", but imagine if it was raining sharks!

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Celia Smith's avatar

They also say “they’re eating the cats & dogs.”

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BayPoodle's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Robot Bender's avatar

Sharknado!

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kdsherpa's avatar

WOW!!! That's absolutely BRILLIANT!!!

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Robot Bender's avatar

(Bowing) Thank you. 😉

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Sue Ryan's avatar

Even better!

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Audrey Eve's avatar

So bad for his "hair"!

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Laurie's avatar

Also bad for his whiny disposition when the Dems control the weather like they so often do.

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Susie's avatar

Right. Those darn Dems 😂

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Tammy Mackinnon's avatar

Trump told an interviewer this week: “The windmills are killing us! Even the white ones!”

It sounds like I’m making that up. I’m not. It’s on tape.

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shee-rah's avatar

Don Quixote lives again!

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Stuyvesant Bearns's avatar

He also has an overpowering phobia about getting his Oh So Lovely locks wet.

And he has etched himself into America's Pamtheon of Disgrace by calling the Marines who died at Belleau Wood "suckers, losers".

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Mike Sabes's avatar

Rain lets you see he is balding...

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Itsy Bitsy Spider's avatar

Ahh, the perfect storm….

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CBA's avatar

He's afraid of anything that might mess up what's left of his hair.

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Bob Graham's avatar

Of course Trumpie is afraid, he’s got bone spurs. And he so wanted to go into the service to prove his bravery. Now he can only watch a parade. Pity.

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Jocelyn B's avatar

I have all fingers & toes crossed!

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Sara Toye's avatar

…and intelligent women. On second thought, anyone who is not white, male, and a “Christian” nationalist.

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WoodsmanBob's avatar

Anyone Trump can berate.......and Disrespect.......We are Much Stronger because of the ability of everyone of any Gender, Preference, Race, Religion, etc ........

However We must SPEAK UP, or we will lose those voices.......Please, Now !

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Mike Sabes's avatar

Estimated 5,000 folks are walking in Palo Alto, CA today as a protest to Trump's presidency and his actions. Joan Baez maybe speaking at the end of the rally!

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Judy Steiner's avatar

Unless there is lightning, the parade will go on. The military is tough people. They're not afraid of rain and thunderstorms.

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kdsherpa's avatar

But the orange sadist is!!

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It's Come To This's avatar

And Bette Midler, Rosie O’Donnell, Nancy Pelosi…

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

...then Bette Midler leaned a tad to the right

So that Rosie O'Donnell's left ear just might

Hear that Nancy Pelosi, seated two rows down,

Let melt her too-frequent frown

And her face suddenly glowed quite bright.

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Al Keim's avatar

We should be able to whip up something with those ingredients! Where's Macgyver?

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kdsherpa's avatar

For real?!!

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Kandy Brown's avatar

Pray for rain and lightning!

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JeannieLaKT's avatar

I live in the area, and it’s really looking like rain. HA!

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Kate Decker's avatar

Exactly my thoughts. :-) !! For instance, two mountain climbers, presumed innocent, just both got struck by lightning on top of their mountain.

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M.E. Lawrence's avatar

It really does sound so much like Pete.

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Ole Anderson's avatar

I Can see where this parade would be a very good target for the Houtis or any other group wanting some publicity. It would certainly be the lede story around the World!

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Glenn Sills's avatar

Think of it this way, if Trump gets wet in a rainstorm all his face paint will come off and the media will have a week's worth of jokes.

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Michael Luginbill's avatar

If the makeup washes off, let's hope that it comes down around his ears like R. Giuliani..

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Harvey Perry's avatar

If his makeup washes off, it will be discovered that he is actually Jimmy Hoffa.

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Mike Sabes's avatar

Like Noem using many layers of filler from Sephora so she can look like a movie star at her cruel press briefings . Sorry Noem, it did not help your face.

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shee-rah's avatar

I can't wait to see his makeup running down his face on all the news programs of the parade.

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Mike Sabes's avatar

Like his foolish pal Rudy!

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Ian Findlay's avatar

Wouldn't he be more like the Wicked Witch in Oz? "IAhhhhhhhhhhh!!! You cursed brat! Look what you've done!! I'm melting, melting."

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Stuyvesant Bearns's avatar

Every cloud has a silver lining!

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LHS's avatar

Me, too!

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Candy Cuthbert's avatar

🤣🤣 Good one!!

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Susie's avatar

Hard same!

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Rebe's avatar

Me too!

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Michael Hertz's avatar

lol this has happened to me so many times

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Janet Brown's avatar

Lighten up 😊

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Margaret Rogers's avatar

Thank you! I am still laughing!!!

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Frau Katze's avatar

Me too!

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Ellen Lefkowitz's avatar

Hilarious

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

A great new song by Jesse Welles, especially for today: https://youtu.be/kWG0K3Y8ZU8?si=82Rbywwu0Q-P4OkE

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Elisabeth Birker's avatar

Love it❣️ Feels sooo good to share❗️❗️❗️

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M Seits's avatar

Wish I could post photos of the No Kings Rally in Asheville NC. Masses of people marching peacefully to Pact Sq. And the crowds growing by the minute! Serval rallies at various starting points all headed to Pact Sq. downtown AVL! This gives me hope for the future!

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Sue From 28803's avatar

Yay Asheville!

I’m from Asheville too, but physically unable to attend. You’re standing in for me as well as you please.

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Tammy Mackinnon's avatar

Me, too.

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Kathleen Hodges's avatar

Hope springs eternal! That or a sink hole suddenly emerging on Pennsylvania Avenue.

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

I worry that the bloated, orange baby will order the troops to march in a thunderstorm. He doesn't care.

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Michael Luginbill's avatar

He said that thus would go off rain or shine. He said, " they're tough," and added "and smart." H e should have said, "and mine."

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Betsy Groth's avatar

They can be tough as nails and smarter than Einstein and still struck by lightning.

Another moronic quote from the psychopath.

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Marianne Burbank's avatar

It’s possible! There is a flood watch for DC!

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John Townsend's avatar

--right under Trump and company's bandstand!

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Anne B's avatar

Love that idea!

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Susan Stone's avatar

The combination of heavy rains and heavy tanks could do that…

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Patti's avatar

I am beyond delighted that Jeffrey Goldberg was once again included. ❤️ you, Andy!

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M.E. Lawrence's avatar

But when will our Andy be invited? WHEN, damn it?

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Patti's avatar

I love the idea of “Our Andy.” Because he is. Please, someone, tell me that the goddess hurls thunderbolts in Washington, D.C.? News here in the baking Tuscan countryside is sparse.

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John Townsend's avatar

--a few more fumble-bumbles by Pete and he is in...!

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Frau Katze's avatar

That was a good touch.

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Claudia Matthews's avatar

Bigoted, blowhard, bully bamboozles and brainwashes blind, brain-dead, benighted bozos with bald-faced, black-hearted, blatant bullshit.

Because...

Reality ruled by reason and rationality remains ravaged, razed and rubbed out.

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Awesome -- both what you said and how you said it!!! Love me some good alliteration, and this is GREAT!!!

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Janet Brittle's avatar

Fabulous! So well said and creative!

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Steve Lovelace's avatar

You know rain and lightning is predicted. Hopefully the whole cabinet is close to rump. A well placed Bolt could end this bullshit

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Robot Bender's avatar

"Thunderbolts and lightning

Very very frightening..."

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David Gardiner's avatar

Taking aim -- a little more to the right...

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Al Keim's avatar

So just who was checking the ammo today?

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David Gardiner's avatar

Force Majeur, Al. Weather happens.

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Mike Sabes's avatar

His cabinet members are to dumb to stay out of the rain,

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Patrick Terrill's avatar

BE BEST

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Janeo's avatar

OR BE MELANIA...

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John Townsend's avatar

Aaaaah and Ewwwwwww!

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Tammy Mackinnon's avatar

KILL ME NOW

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Phyllis Mass's avatar

I went to DC for nothing? Can’t trust the government any more.

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misia.d's avatar

Are the museums open?

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John Townsend's avatar

No, but the fossils and the freakshows are in the bandstand with Trumo!

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John Townsend's avatar

I meant to write "Trump".

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David Gardiner's avatar

John, I can relate to your reflexive aversion to mentioning something so foul.

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Tammy Mackinnon's avatar

How could they be? The mall is covered in tanks and rando military vehicles.

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Billsburg's avatar

My very, very foul mood thanks you. This is the first time I've really laughed in the past couple of days.

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Deb Green's avatar

Bless you, Andy.

Hilarious!

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Richard's avatar

Too funny! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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misia.d's avatar

Not a parade, a charade! You’re cool.

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Harvey Perry's avatar

A sign in New London Connecticut: “No Parades for Draft Dodgers”. Should have resonated with some people.

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M Seits's avatar

Parade?? There’s a parade today? I must have missed that Signal text!

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Chris Williams's avatar

Oh, the “Houthi” rebels. For a second there I thought you meant Maj. Gen. George Pickett’s troops from Gettysburg.

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