The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Xi and Putin Reach Agreement on Joint Ownership of Trump

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Andy Borowitz
May 18, 2026
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BEIJING (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a landmark deal, on Monday Presidents Xi Jinping of China and Vladimir Putin of Russia inked an agreement to jointly own Donald J. Trump.

According to sources familiar with the deal, the two leaders crafted a timeshare arrangement under which each will have the right to use Trump when the other is not.

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