Xi Humiliates Trump by Reading Aloud From Epstein Files
BEIJING (The Borowitz Report)—President Xi Jinping’s humiliation of Donald J. Trump peaked on Thursday when the Chinese leader used a joint appearance to read aloud from the Epstein Files.
Standing at a podium barely three feet away from his American counterpart, a stony-faced Xi recited a series of damning allegations about Trump that the DOJ’s redaction team had somehow missed.
While the assembled press listened with rapt attention, Trump appeared oblivious to Xi’s audacious effort to embarrass him.
“He’s a true friend,” Trump later said of Xi. “He said my name many, many times.”
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Happy Thursday evening, everyone!
Trump’s speech on the two countries shared history including Chinese labor building the transcontinental railway and economic importance of the amount of Chinese restaurants being the largest segment of any ethnic group came across as being carefully crafted on the back of a cocktail napkin as Air Force One taxied up to its final destination.