Archive - The Borowitz Report

NATO Sprays Antipsychotic Medication in Airspace Over White House

Norwegian Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Stoere said, “We saw his letter to me as a cry for help.”

12 hrs ago • Andy Borowitz

MLK's Final Message

"People are often surprised to learn that I am an optimist."

19 hrs ago • Andy Borowitz

When Trump Named a Horse After Himself

TBR Sunday Read

Jan 18 • Andy Borowitz

Greenland Suggests Trump Acquire Epstein’s Island Instead

“Epstein’s island is bound to stir many happy memories for him," a Greenlandic government spokesman said.

Jan 15 • Andy Borowitz

New Study Links Botox to Pathological Lying

The overuse of Botox can cause “an acute allergic reaction to the truth,” the study says.

Jan 14 • Andy Borowitz

Did George W. Bush Really Say That?

It seemed legit.

Jan 13 • Andy Borowitz

Envoy From Greenland Offers to Meet Stephen Miller

“He’d like to meet Mrs. Miller as well," a Greenlandic government spokesman said.

Jan 12 • Andy Borowitz

Little Marco's Big Lie

TBR Sunday Read

Jan 11 • Andy Borowitz

King Restores British Rule over U.S.

“We lost the colonies because our King went insane,” Charles added. “But now the shoe’s on the other bloody foot, isn’t it?”

Jan 9 • Andy Borowitz

If you've had enough, let's get to work.

Jan 8 • Andy Borowitz

The Borowitz Report Turns 25

A quarter century of making up the news.

Jan 4 • Andy Borowitz

How to Survive 2026

Try this. It works.

Jan 2 • Andy Borowitz

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