Archive - The Borowitz Report

Help is on the Way!

And not a moment too soon.

20 hrs ago •

Andy Borowitz

Somalis Express No Interest in Immigrating to Country with Shithole President

“When I travel abroad, I don’t have to be embarrassed when people ask me where I’m from," one Somali said.

Dec 4 •

Andy Borowitz

Trump Boasts That International Criminal Court in The Hague Has Invited Him to Receive Award

“They said it was in response to things I’ve done as president,” Trump told reporters.

Dec 3 •

Andy Borowitz

Dozy Don: A Pictorial History

Years of snoozing on the job.

Dec 2 •

Andy Borowitz

Trump Claims MRI on His Brain Found Nothing

He declared his test “perfect.”

Dec 1 •

Andy Borowitz

November 2025

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