Archive - The Borowitz Report

A Very Nixon Halloween

TBR Spooktacular

20 hrs ago

Bezos and Musk in Fierce Contest to See Who Can Lose More Customers

An industry observer said both men “have what it takes” to send customers fleeing in droves.

Oct 29

The Borowitz Report Endorses Kamala Harris

TBR broke with its longstanding policy of impartiality in elections.

Oct 28

My Election Prediction

Oct 27

13:02

Jeff Bezos Sells Washington Post’s Integrity in Latest Amazon Prime Deal

The Amazon product page called the Post’s integrity “a signature feature that made this former newspaper great."

Oct 26

Elon Musk Offers Million Dollars to Anyone Willing to Give Up Human Rights

“Just sign over your voting, civil and reproductive rights and the check is yours!” he yelled.

Oct 25

George Santos Calls JD Vance a Once-in-a-Generation Lying Talent

“He is the LeBron James of lying."

Oct 24

Trump Refuses to Admit He Lost McDonald’s Employee of the Month

The disgruntled former employee called the selection process "rigged."

Oct 22

Trump Promises to Rename Washington Monument After Arnold Palmer

“Arnold Palmer was a great American, and possibly the biggest American,” he declared.

Oct 21

When Did the New York Times Fall in Love with Trump?

A romance that goes back decades.

Oct 20

Fox Claims Harris Broke Interview Rules by Completing Sentences

“I tried to prevent her from doing so by interrupting her, but she rudely continued," Bret Baier said.

Oct 18

Vance Bops to Music for 9 Hours to Prove He Could Assume Trump’s Duties

“It is enjoyable to stay at the YMCA!” he robotically shouted.

Oct 17

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